“Uh-huh. It’s true, Mommy. She smells like a closet.”
I winked at Haley, who sat up in bed, giggling. “Oh, mothballs? I hated that smell when I was a kid.”
“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I’m just tired and worried.” Tears glimmered in Layla’s eyes.
“I understand, and you don’t. But please don’t ignore my offer of help. It’s meant for Haley, remember.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, Ronan. I appreciate it.” Her hand rested on Haley’s shoulder.
“It’s a lot to take in. I’ll give you my number, and if you need me, just call or text. Even if you don’t, I’d love to keep in touch just to see how Haley is doing.”
“Okay. And I’m sorry about the way I acted earlier. I’m busy thinking of Haley coming home.”
“As you should.” I motioned to her and we stepped off to the side so that Haley wouldn’t hear. “Would you let me at least buy her a welcome-home cake? Something she loves?”
“You don’t have to.” But the way she gazed at Haley with such longing, I knew she didn’t mean it. I didn’t know anything about little girls, but from the pictures Cassie had put up on her Instagram of Molly’s birthday, I knew exactly the kind of cake she’d love.
“I don’t like doing what I have to.” Gabriel hovered by the door, and I grinned. “I’m better with the things I want to do, right, Haley? You have a great time going home, and stay well. I know you’ll be okay.” I held my hand out to Layla, who hesitantly took it. “Please give me your address, and I’ll have a cake sent to her tomorrow. You’ve both been through so much. Take care of her and yourself, and if you need anything, please call me. I’m not just saying it.”
She recited her address and phone number to me, and I put them in my phone. “Thank you.”
The two of them snuggled together on Haley’s bed, and Layla began to read. I backed out, leaving them to their time together. I made my rounds, making small talk with the kids and their visitors, handing out new books or switching old ones out for new. Silent and watchful, Gabriel followed behind me, and despite the enormity of what lay between us, we didn’t really speak until the door to my apartment closed behind us.
I got on the phone with a fancy French bakery I’d seen on television and ordered Haley a big strawberry shortcake with pink candles and loads of pink balloons. Once that was done, I set my phone aside. I figured I’d wait for them to be home a week, then contact Layla to see if I could help in any way.
“Do you want a beer?” Gabriel stood in front of the refrigerator.
“I think I need something stronger.” I grabbed the bottle of tequila off the counter, put some ice in a glass, and poured a hefty amount. Instead of drinking it, I stared into the clear depths, trying to marshal my thoughts.
“Can we sit?”
“No. I don’t want to get too comfortable.”
“Okay.”
And dammit, he was being so nice and calm and understanding, and I was so fucking hurt, I wanted to be nasty and throw things, smash glasses and curse and scream. But in the end, none of it really mattered because I only wanted him.
My stupid hands still shook with anger, and I braced them on the kitchen countertop, the quartz surface cold against my hot skin. “Do you at least understand why I’m so angry? You went and texted Cassie without telling me. I was getting over what she and Marty did. Because I had you. Someone who understood how damn hurt I was and was there for me. On my side. But now I feel like I’ve lost that trust. You broke it. You broke me.”
Gabriel paled but narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying if you’re telling me you were over it and that you’re ready to cut her out of your life forever. I don’t believe you.”
I opened my mouth but couldn’t make myself say he was wrong. Deep down, no matter how much she’d hurt me, I doubted I’d ever be able to walk away from Cassie. “You had no right to do it without talking to me first. Getting that call from her blindsided me.”
“That’s true, and I’m really sorry. I was wrong to go behind your back and do what I did.” He stepped forward and rested his hands on my shoulders. “I was caught up in the moment after speaking with my father and discovering he’d never told my brother and sister about me. Then you went ahead and found them, and there they were, staring me in the face, so happy…and unaware of my existence. I was so in my head about it all. I was thinking about myself and hoping that if I ever did get the nerve to contact Amanda and Marshall, they’d want to see me.”
“I think they would. I’d want to know.”
Gabriel’s thumb skated over my cheek, and his eyes sparked, sending a tug of longing through me. “You’re not like everyone, though.” His jaw hardened. “You want to know why I really did it? Because I love you and saw how much you were hurting. Here you have a family, and maybe if you talked it out, you could find common ground, something to work your way home to each other. I never had that and didn’t want to see you throw it all away before you tried everything you could. I would’ve given anything to have a sister or brother. I fucked up by texting Cassie, and you can be mad all you want, but don’t kill what we’re just getting started because I made a stupid mistake out of love.”
How could I stay mad when he poured out his heart to me? Plus, I wanted him to connect with his own family. I knew how much it meant to him. Cassie and I no longer had a relationship by choice. Gabriel and his brother and sister never had that luxury.
“I understand you did it out of love, but promise me it won’t happen again. If I decide to talk to my sister, it’ll be on my terms.”
“I won’t.” He leaned in to kiss me. “Do you forgive me?”
I met his mouth halfway. “I’m not sure yet. I’ve always heard make-up sex was the best.”
Gabriel grinned and took me by the hand. “Let’s find out.”
