Only I hadn’t.
But now that I was getting to know them, I didn’t want Dorothy to have that ugly opinion of me. It wasn’t fair that people continued to think I was a piece of shit, and I could probably give the rest of my money away and it still wouldn’t matter.
“Trust me. I dislike myself enough for the both of us.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Ronan. Eventually things will work out, and you’ll end up where you’re supposed to be. You might be surprised.”
Thinking back to my conversation with Marty and how I’d lost it so spectacularly, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. Except I wanted to do this for the kids.
“I’m serious about this. I plan to meet with my financial adviser as soon as possible and start the wheels rolling for the trust. And even when my community service is over, I still want to volunteer and help any way I can.”
Dorothy left her seat to give me a hug, which surprised me more than anything. “I’m glad to hear this. Don’t doubt yourself. You can accomplish anything if you want it bad enough.”
I gave her a faint smile and left her office and the hospital with a silent Gabriel at my shoulder. Once outside, he clicked on his phone, then shoved it into his pocket.
“That was a beautiful thing you proposed.”
My cheeks warmed at the praise, and strangely enough, I felt more shy than ready to brag. “I didn’t like seeing how old their books are and that they didn’t seem to have enough variety for all ages. Plus, I’d love for them to have board games for the families to play with the kids when they visit.”
“Also a great idea.”
I basked in his admiration. “Thanks. I just saw a need and wanted to help.”
“Lots of people see needs, but it takes a special person to do something about it aside from talk. I worked for a politician for years, and I can’t tell you how many promises were made with all the smiles and best intentions, yet when push came to shove, nothing was ever done.”
The car pulled up, and Gabriel opened the door for me. I inhaled a deep breath of his aftershave, a heady, warm scent, and thought I wouldn’t mind some pushing and shoving with him.
In my bed.
“According to the calendar we went over, you have a meeting with your parole officer.”
“Yeah. He’s not my biggest fan. I sort of pissed him off when I wasn’t too thrilled about the hospital assignment.”
Gabriel’s chuckle made me all kinds of warm inside, and I carried that with me to the upcoming meeting with Ortega, my parole officer. Instead, I found a new person waiting for me.
“I’m Terrance Holder. I’ll be your new PO. Ortega was moved to another location.” The stern expression faded at the sight of Gabriel, and his stony eyes brightened.
“Gabriel Sachs. Holy crap, man. It’s been a minute. How the hell are you?”
“Terry, dude. How’s it going?”
Irritated that the two men were hugging it up in my face, I threw myself in a chair to wait while they did their walk down memory lane. It gave me a chance to study Gabriel in a more relaxed environment, and I noticed he was more animated and talkative than I’d ever seen him with me.
“So what’re you doing here, man?” Holder’s sharp gaze shifted to me, then returned to Gabriel. I felt dismissed. “Haven’t heard much of you since you left the force.”
“I’m in personal security now.” Gabriel took the chair next to me, his large body filling the small wooden chair. “You came here after retiring? How long?”
Holder leaned a hip against his desk, crossing his arms over his wide chest. “Been doing this five years now. Charlotte threatened that retirement didn’t mean sleeping until noon and getting into her business, so I needed to get another job.” Once again, Holder’s eyes rested on me, but this time they remained. “And you’re working for Michaels?”
Even the way he spoke my name dripped condescension. It got my back up, but I knew to keep quiet. Gabriel shot me a look, as though he expected me to mouth off, but I remained slouched in my seat, staring straight ahead.
“Yeah. Ronan had some issues with people getting into his personal space and saying threatening things. A couple of nasty letters and even a package that could’ve potentially been dangerous.”
Frowning, Holder circled his desk and sat before his computer. “Still? I saw Ortega mentioned in his notes you’ve had some issues. Did you report it to the police?”
“Why? Would anyone give a damn?” I burst out, unable to control my resentment. “You guys don’t give a shit.” Gabriel sighed, but I lashed out. “Don’t pretend it’s not true. You all think I’m scum for what I did, but I don’t care anymore. Can we just get on with this? I’m here to report my activity for the past week. I went to the hospital, did my community service, and even came up with an idea of how to help them.”
“Ronan—” Gabriel began, but Holder held up his hand.
