“My neighbor lost his entire retirement savings because of thieves like you. He had to go back to work. How’s a seventy-year-old man supposed to find a job these days? Have you no shame for what you did? You disgust me.”
Shooting me death glares over her shoulder, the woman stalked away, leaving me shaken and once again fearful. I saw several people had their phones out, filming our altercation, no doubt for their social media, and it made me sick. The beauty of enjoying the outside had faded, and all I wanted was to go home and stick my head under the covers. Or maybe in the oven.
“Hey, man, you okay?”
I glanced up to see a guy around my age, peering at me with anxious brown eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I guess.”
“I saw you on that show last night too.”
I shrugged, wishing he would go the fuck away. “Yeah? Fucking fabulous. Well, I don’t owe you an explanation.” My hands shook, and I balled them into fists. “Leave me alone.”
“Jesus, you’re touchy. I’m on your side. You paid your debt, so that old witch should’ve left you alone.”
“Oh. Thanks. It’s not easy to listen to someone jumping on you, wanting to bite your head off.” A bit mollified, I cut him a side-eye, picking up a vibe I’d been too angry to notice at first. He grinned at me.
“Feel like getting a coffee?” he asked.
“Sure.” Normally I didn’t do pickups on the street, but I was so starved for conversation, I didn’t hesitate. Besides, the guy was pretty cute and would be nice to stare at across a table.
Or a pillow.
“I’m Ben, by the way.”
“Ronan,” I replied and followed him.
***
His mouth tasted like cinnamon and coffee. We barreled into his apartment, kissing and touching frantically. I didn’t even care that we’d only met two hours earlier. I was lust-drunk and ready for a good, hard fuck.
Our clothes came off, and we fell on his unmade bed, legs and arms tangling, him lying under me.
“Fucking come on, Ronan. Do it.”
“Where’re your condoms?” I wasn’t sure if it was the guy or just the feel of another person’s skin plastered to mine, but I was so turned-on, I could barely speak.
“Don’t have any. I want you to fuck me raw. Hard.” He reached out to grasp my cock, but I pulled away and fought for my breath and control, the gravity of the situation hitting me. If he was willing to fuck a stranger bare, how many other people had he done this with?
And how far had I sunk that I’d sleep with someone whose last name I didn’t even know?
My desire and erection faded.
“Sorry, Ben. I’m thinking this wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Nowyou think that?” He squinted up at me, annoyed and panting. “Why?”
“I’m not used to hooking up so quickly, and definitely not without protection.”
“No? I figured you would be after prison. I don’t care where you’ve been.” He lay back on the pillow and stroked himself. “You sure? You can suck me off if you want. I can’t believe you were on television last night and now you’re here.”
If I didn’t want to stick my dick inside him, why would I want his in my mouth? Again, his nonchalance over having unprotected sex with a stranger slapped me in the face. What the hell was I doing? Did Ben even want me, or was the fact that I was on television enough for him? God only knew who else he’d been with. I couldn’t get dressed fast enough.
“No, thanks. I’m totally sure. See ya.” I was out the door before he had a chance to say good-bye, and hurried down the stairs of his fifth-floor walk-up.
All in all, it was a pretty fucking stupid move on my part, and it looked as though I hadn’t learned my lesson. I was still king of fuckups, but for once, I’d caught myself in time.
The sky had grown overcast, with dark clouds scuttling across and hiding the sun. A drop of rain splashed on my cheek, and I hustled through the park and into the subway. By the time I hiked up the steps at my stop, it was raining in earnest, and I dashed the few blocks to my building.
