“He fights me at every turn, even though he knows it’s coming from a good place.”
“Do you love him?”
The question rocked him. Love? Was that what the overwhelming need to be with Morgan all the time was? The driving need to see him every day and protect him from getting hurt again?
“I…don’t know. I don’t know anything about love.”
“None of us do, my brother. That’s what makes it so crazy.”
They sat silent for a few minutes until Peter clenched his hands into fists. “I’m pissed. I’m pissed because you were hurt so bad. When I think about my boys and anyone touching them…I’d go through fire before I’d let that happen. And whether you want to believe it or not, you didn’t deserve it—no kid does. And you said your mother knew?”
Leo’s fingers dug into his palms. “What, that Robert beat me? I can’t be sure. I never told her because I knew she wouldn’t believe me—she never did about anything I said. She wanted him to take my father’s place, but he couldn’t. No one could. So I kept quiet and took it like a man.”
“You were nine years old. A child.”
“I don’t remember ever feeling like one. I went from mourning my father’s death to grieving my life, determined to make it day by day and not cry. Be a man. And my mother drifted along, concerned only with her facials and designer wardrobe. I went through everything alone.”
Morgan slipped his arms around his neck, and he jumped, then gazed up into his somber face. “You’re not alone anymore. And it seems to me that you haven’t been for a while now, because you had Peter and Marla, but it takes time to realize it and accept people into your life. I get it. I was the same way.” Morgan’s eyes spoke volumes, and Leo knew he referred to his own journey. “And my guess is you still don’t.”
“I’m trying to. The point of this whole conversation is that I’m trying now, where I never wanted to bother. So I want to thank you again for putting up with me.” He tipped his head to Peter.
“It was rough, dude,” Peter said with a twinkle in his eye. “You don’t make it easy, but I knew there was something going on in there”—he tapped his head—“that affected you here.” He pointed to his heart.
“I’m working on it.” He leaned into Morgan’s chest. “With some help.”
“We all need a little help from our friends.” Morgan kissed the top of his head, and Marla, walking over to their group, gave them a satisfied smile.
“Well, I knew from the first time I met Morgan that he was the right man for you. I’m so glad I didn’t have to knock you over the head.”
Leo laughed. “I’m scared to think of what might’ve happened.”
“Brother, you should be. When she wants something, I just step aside.”
Marla kissed him. “So glad you see it my way. I taught you well. And my mother said you’d never come around.”
The rest of the afternoon flew by like a moment, and Leo realized that for the first time in forever, he had nothing on his mind but pleasure and enjoying being with his friends and his lover.
It was late in the afternoon when they headed home. Morgan needed to stop at the Teacher’s Store in Downtown Brooklyn to pick up some supplies and insisted Leo drop him off and he’d take the train home.
“I can’t carry what I’m going to buy on the back of a motorcycle. The train is two blocks away. It’ll be fine.”
Leo stopped on Schermerhorn Street and glared at him. “You call me when you’re out of the station, and I’ll meet you and help you carry whatever shit you bought.”
“Why are you so concerned?”
Leo took off his sunglasses and glared. “Because your ex is still walking the streets, thinking he’s gotten away with all the shit he pulled on you, and I don’t like it. What if he comes after you one day?”
“You never mentioned being concerned about him.”
“Not concerned? Of course I am. I think about it all the time.” Gripping the handlebars of the Ducati, he ground his jaw. “He hurt you and got away with it. Bastard thinks he can do it again, and I won’t let that happen. I’ll never let him hurt you again.”
“It’s not going to happen. I haven’t heard from him since that one bizarre phone call earlier this summer. He’s gone and out of my life for good.”
“I hope so. But that doesn’t mean I have to like you dragging bags through the train station. Call me.”
Morgan rolled his eyes. “By the time I call you, I could be home. Stop being an idiot.” And before he could answer, Morgan disappeared into the store.
Grumbling all the way home, Leo had to admit it felt good to talk to Peter and begin to release the weight of his past. It brought him a different kind of peace. Not that his resentment had magically disappeared, but he felt he could see his mother now without the heavy burden of anger and long-ago pain destroying him. And maybe therapy would help as well. Not something he wanted to think about on a beautiful summer afternoon, but whatever happened in the future, he knew he finally had the family he’d always needed.
