His dark head bent, Leo spoke to his clasped hands. “I heard you making a date with that guy and knew once you went out with him, I’d never see you again. You’d find another place to live, and that would be it.”
“Seems like you had my whole life planned.”
Still not meeting his eyes, Leo shrugged. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. You want someone steady—a boyfriend, and maybe eventually a husband.”
“Says you. The expert on me.”
“I’m not the expert on anything, that’s for damn sure, least of all myself. I just know…” He clenched and unclenched his hands into fists, but Morgan wasn’t afraid and held his breath.
Waiting.
“I thought about seeing you bring that guy over and knowing you two were up here.” Leo’s voice dropped. “Together. In bed. And it…it fucking killed me. I didn’t want to think about him touching you. Kissing you. Doing everything we did together. That belonged to me. To us.”
As painful as it was for him to breathe right then, at hearing Leo unwrapping his heart, joy poured through Morgan.
“I was being stupid, you know? Because I never wanted that shit. Boyfriends…relationships…none of it. I didn’t want it because I never thought I was good enough. So I took a ride to get it out of my head, and somehow I ended up at my mother’s place.”
At the pain in Leo’s face, Morgan took his hand, breaking the promise he’d made to himself not to touch him.
“How did that go?”
Leo stared into his eyes without seeing him. “She was asleep, but I feel like she’s slipping away.”
Morgan tightened his grip. “I’m so sorry.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I thought it wouldn’t make a difference, you know? She didn’t give a damn about me, so why should I care if she lives or dies?”
Morgan stroked Leo’s palm with his thumb. “But you do. Because you’re not her, and you can’t walk away.”
“I don’t know if it’s duty or whatever you call it, but seeing her lying in bed so weak and pathetic…it was sad. All I felt was sad. Because I wanted to love her. I knew I should.”
“Love isn’t automatic. If someone hurts you badly and has no remorse, they don’t deserve you, no matter if they’re family or friend.”
“After I left Peter’s the first time tonight, I figured your date was meeting you there, and I thought to hell with it all, I’ll go home and forget about it. Forget you. But that didn’t work out so well.”
“So what you’re saying is, I’m unforgettable?” Morgan grinned, loving the light that sparked in Leo’s eyes.
“That’s one of the words I’ve used to describe you.”
Leo’s incredibly long lashes swept downward, and when he bit his lip, Morgan’s heart gave another of those flutters. Leo giving him a part of himself Morgan knew no one had seen, not even his best friend, made him love Leo more.
Love?
Oh yeah, but this wasn’t the time or place to address that.
“I went to visit my father’s grave,” Leo said, surprising him. That wasn’t what he’d expected to hear.
“Wasn’t it late to go to the cemetery?”
“I found a way.” A devilish grin curved Leo’s lips for a moment before fading. “I needed to see him.”
Oh God, oh God, he’s killing me.
Morgan remembered when he’d read Jane Eyre in high school and how he’d suffered along with Jane in not wanting to love such a dark, tortured man as Rochester. Now here sat Leo, a living version, his demons rendering him so lonely and vulnerable, Morgan couldn’t help but lose his heart.
“Did it help you?”
“Not sure. I visit at least once a month, but I also go see him whenever I have problems I can’t figure out. Being there is peaceful, and I can talk through what’s in my head.”
