EIGHTEEN
Leo had come to Peter’s, hoping to work out together. He didn’t want to pound away on the bags in solitude. He needed someone…his best friend, who seemed to always have his head on straight, to help him figure out what the hell was going on inside him. A long, destination-less ride on the highway had done nothing to quell the jitteriness gnawing at his nerves, so he’d done the unthinkable and gone to see his mother. He had no idea why he had the sudden urge to visit after that last terrible time with Morgan. It had been her worst point in months.
“Hi, Natalia,” he’d greeted her when she opened the door. “Sorry to barge in.”
As always, she favored him with a smile. “You don’t barge in when it’s your mother.”
“How is she?” The lights were off in the living room. “Sleeping?”
Natalia turned a mournful face to him. “She’s been mostly sleeping since you last saw her. Barely eating or getting out of bed. Her chest has been hurting her, but the tests are unchanged. Still…”
Still. Leo understood.
“Is it all right if I see her for a minute? I won’t wake her.”
She rested her hand on his arm. “I would not worry. You should try and talk to her anyway. I think you have things you want to say that are maybe easier with her asleep, no?”
He gave her hand a squeeze and walked to his mother’s room. A night-light glowed in the corner, but even in the dimness he could see how much weight she’d lost. Without makeup her face was pale, save for the dark purple shadows under her eyes.
Leo sat at the bedside and stared at her. “I don’t know why I was never enough for you, but I tried. And I hoped you at least loved my father at one point. He was a good person, and he loved me.” When she didn’t react or move, he continued to ramble on, saying everything he couldn’t if she were awake, the thoughts spinning on a never-ending wheel. “That guy Morgan, you thought he was my boyfriend. But I don’t know how to be that kind of person. Maybe that’s why he’s dating someone else.” Bile rose in his throat at his words. “I guess you and I aren’t so different after all.”
And all through it she slept, the hush of her breathing breaking the quiet.
“I don’t know what you were looking for, Mom, but I’m sorry you never found it.”
He bent over, and for the first time in years, kissed her cheek, but there was nothing familiar left of her—no scent of Chanel, and her skin beneath his lips was rough, not smooth and cool from the facials she’d always sworn by.
Natalia waited by the stairs, and he gave her a hug. “Thank you for everything.”
“I will call you.”
Leo left, and he rode around Brooklyn, with only his dark thoughts for company until he came to Peter’s, where he’d hoped to lose himself in some body-numbing exercise.
Instead, Leo wound up trapped by a pair of haunting green eyes, which gazed at him not with the fire he enjoyed stoking, but instead clouded with shadows, disappointment, and doubt.
And Leo didn’t like that at all.
Morgan’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Listen, I’m here to watch the kids for Marla and Peter, not to hang out with you. I’ll tell them you came by.” Morgan took out his phone and checked it, then picked up the television remote.
“Are you kicking me out?”
Why did Morgan look at his phone? Was he meeting that guy later on? Was he coming here to keep Morgan company? Was he taking the man home with him to bang him silly?
That thought angered and sickened him…but why? Jesus, he was losing his mind.
Morgan shrugged. “If the shoe fits. I’ve got nothing left to say to you.”
“Is he coming here?”
“Who?” Morgan’s brow furrowed.
“Your date. The guy you met for drinks tonight.”
“Derrick?”
“Whatever his name is. Is that why you’re rushing me out of here? BecauseDerrickis coming over?”
Getting that stubborn set to his jaw that turned Leo on, Morgan folded his arms. “First of all, it’s none of your damn business, and second, what if he is? Why do you care?”
