“I can’t do this.” Wolf rolled off the bed, but Spencer surprised him with his quick reflexes, and he found himself wrapped in Spencer’s arms.
“You already did. It’s going to be okay. I didn’t know you were giving me such a gift. But a virgin? You’d never had sex with anyone else?”
“I don’t know why you’re making me repeat it. I’m humiliated enough as it is.”
“Why? And that’s not all you’re feeling, Wolfie.”
Held naked in Spencer’s arms, Wolf grew hard, and he felt Spencer’s cock thicken against his thigh.
“It’s a natural reaction,” he huffed, jumping when Spencer ran a finger down the curve of his spine to the cleft of his ass. “What’re you doing?”
“Mm, I like to touch you and see you lose your cool. All that tense, bossy hotness shattering in front of me is so fucking sexy.” Spencer’s fingers played along his skin. “So, uh…never? I’m still in shock.”
Wolf sighed and rested his head on Spencer’s shoulder. “You like hearing it, don’t you?”
“Maybe.” He heard the grin in Spencer’s voice, and then Spencer’s lips touched his neck. “Mostly I love thinking I was your first.”
If he closed his eyes, the conversation would be so much easier. He could concentrate on Spencer’s touch instead of obsessing over the words he still hadn’t said. “How could I have sex with someone I had no feelings for? I don’t trust easily—at all, actually. But being with you made everything I’d heard about sex a reality. I finally understood.”
“I have been called inspirational.” Spencer kissed him and snickered. “So how have I measured up over the years? I’d better still be in the top five.”
Wolf stepped away from Spencer and gazed at him. “Haven’t you been listening to me?”
Unsmiling, Wolf watched Spencer’s brow furrow. “Yeah. You said I was your first, and I want to know how I compare to the other guys—ohhh.” His mouth fell open. “Wolfie,” he breathed. “Really?”
“Yeah. Imagine that.”
“I don’t have to imagine. That night was incredible for me as well. Don’t give me that Wolf look—you may have never had sex before or since, but I’ve had enough for the both of us, and I’m telling you, what we shared that night was special.” He frowned. “Which is why it hurt when you left me like that.”
His heart sank, and he returned to the bed and sat on the edge, Spencer moving to sit in the middle, out of reach. “I didn’t leave you. I ran from the truth. One I couldn’t handle. You and me, lovers? After all the years of being so twisted up inside about wanting you, the reality was even better than I’d imagined, and yet I knew for you it wouldn’t be anything more than another night with another man. I didn’t want to hear you say it. I couldn’t handle you brushing off the night so casually when it meant so much to me, so I ran away.”
“So, what’s the truth, Wolfie?”
His lips twitched. “You’re never going to stop calling me that, are you?”
“Nope.” Spencer grinned. “At least it’s better than some stupid nickname I could’ve given you, like Grumpy.”
“What am I, one of Snow White’s dwarves?” He snorted, then turned somber. “You want the truth? It’s taken me four years to realize that I pushed you away because if I’d stayed, I wouldn’t have let you go. It was easier to keep you at arm’s length and have us at odds than to admit how I felt about you.”
“I know what you feel.” Spencer’s eyes sparkled. “I’ve lost track of the times you said you wanted to kill me.”
On his hands and knees, he made his way to Spencer. “You know what they say is the opposite of hate.” He waited, light-headed, sick with nerves, and saw on Spencer’s vivid face the exact moment when the implication of his words sank in.
“Wolf.” Spencer touched his face.
“What?”
“What’re you saying?”
“You’re going to make me say it out loud, aren’t you?” Spencer waited, and Wolf huffed out a breath. “You’re like an overgrown child sometimes, and I cringe because I’m never sure what’s going to come out of your mouth. You drive me insane and frustrate me to the nth degree. You’re impulsive and outrageous and enjoy annoying the shit out of me way too much.” He grasped Spencer by the nape and leaned in to kiss him. “Yet for some reason, the thought of not having you in my life is incomprehensible.”
The lips under his broke out in a smile. “I need to hear you say it.” Spencer kissed him and began to chant. “Say it. Say it.”
“Shut up. I’m beginning to debate whether this whole thing was right.” Spencer opened his mouth, and Wolf kissed him again until Spencer gasped for air. “Spence. You’re the most loyal and caring friend, and you never hesitate to do whatever you can for the people you care about. I couldn’t imagine anyone else being with me today. You gave me that shoulder to lean on when I didn’t even know I needed one.”
“I’ll always be there for you.”
That beautiful face under his shone as bright as a lighthouse beacon, calling him home.
