Maybe it was his nerves. That had to be it. Convinced he could make it work, he smiled. “I guess we’ll have to find out?”
“I look forward to the challenge.”
They continued the light and casual conversation during the meal, and after leaving the restaurant, decided to walk up Fifth Avenue to Central Park. The sun had begun to set, and they stopped and sat on a bench, watching the sky turn vibrant with streaks of pink, orange, and lavender.
“Beautiful,” he murmured. He’d often stayed awake at school, pulling all-nighters, and the sunrise and sunsets brought him a certain peace.
“Yeah, gorgeous.” A hand slipped around his neck, and his heart pounded when Gary’s lips touched his. “Absolutely stunning,” Gary breathed before kissing him again. Wolf put his hands on Gary’s shoulders and closed his eyes, willing himself into the sensuality of the moment…
Nothing. Dammit. Why?
Gary pulled him closer, increasing the pressure of the kiss. Wolf tried to match his fervor, but Gary released him and sat quietly, a quizzical tilt to his brow.
“What’s wrong?” Wolf asked. He thought he’d done well.
“I was going to ask the same question. I like you.”
“I like you too.” It was true. He did like Gary.
But Gary remained unconvinced. “Then what was that? I’ve had more enthusiastic kisses from my ninety-year-old grandmother.”
His face flamed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am…into you.” He reached for Gary and mashed their mouths together, trying to recreate what he’d had with Spencer, but Gary took him by the arms and pushed him away.
“Wolf, stop.”
Breathing hard, Wolf shifted away from Gary and stared out into Central Park South. Humiliation seared through him, and when Gary put a hand on his shoulder, he wrenched away.
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what? I’m trying to understand.”
“When you figure it out, let me know.” He straightened his tie and raked his hand through his hair. “I enjoyed our dinner and conversation.”
Gary squeezed his shoulder. “So did I. Why don’t we take it slow and see what happens? I’m willing to wait.”
Because Gary was such a nice person, Wolf didn’t want to lead him on. “I’m not sure I’m worth it.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? From what I’ve seen so far, I think you are.”
Being that the man was a medical professional, Wolf felt more inclined to open up to him than to his best friends. Plus, he was a stranger, which made it easier. “I think there might be something wrong with me.”
Gary’s brow furrowed. “Wrong? Like what? You think you’re sick?”
“N-no. Not physically.” His hands clenched into fists. “But no matter how hard I try, I can’t…feel anything for the person I’m with.” He forced out a weak laugh. “Maybe I’m frigid.”
He waited for Gary to laugh or brush it off, but he sat with an intent expression on his handsome face. “That’s an outdated term. Sexuality is a spectrum, Wolf, from hypersexual to asexual. Are you saying you’ve never had any sexual desire, ever?”
Strange how despite being such a private person, with Gary he could free himself enough to talk. “No. I mean I have, yes. There’s this guy…” He swallowed hard. “We had sex years ago.”
“And you enjoyed it?”
He gave a sharp jerk of his head.
“Hey. Don’t be embarrassed. I’m not going to push you further. I want you to know, however, you’re perfectly fine. It’s normal to have no desire for sex, and it’s just as normal to want it often. Everyone’s unique, and we all experience sexuality and desire differently.”
“Really?” For the first time, he had hope he wasn’t strange or odd.
“Yes. Of course. And everyone, regardless of their desire for sex or lack thereof or anything in between, can have deep and meaningful love affairs. You told me you enjoyed sex with that one man. What happened between you? It didn’t work out?”
