A simple word Chess had no real answer for.
“I wanted to forget. That desperate kid isn’t who I am. Not anymore. He was ugly, angry, always afraid. And once I started college, I stripped away the old Chester and focused on creating the new person I wanted to be going forward.”
Before he could say another word, André pulled him close and wrapped his arms around him in a grip so tight, he could barely breathe, but it was what he needed.
“You think I’m so disgusted by what I heard that I’m going to do what—throw you out? You? The man I love?” André’s lips moved against his hair. “You’re no different than who I woke up with in my arms only hours ago. You’re the same man who twists me inside out with his lovemaking until I can’t see or think straight. If I cut you out of my life, I’d bleed to death. It hurts that you doubt me.”
“It’s not you I doubt. It’s me. I don’t deserve this.” Gingerly, as if still in disbelief he had the right to touch, he slid his arms around André, immersing himself in the feel and scent of the man he loved. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserveeverything,” André whispered, sounding as broken as Chess felt. André grasped his arms and glared at him. “I don’t care about the path you once walked; those footprints are like sand under water. Gone forever. It’s now that matters, today, the love we share that’s built on your strength and courage. I love you. Hearing that terrible tragedy from when you were a child doesn’t make me love you any less; in fact, I love you more, which I didn’t think possible. Now that I know the truth, we’ll stand together. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“But you heard me, didn’t you?” As if to keep stabbing himself over and over with the knife, Chess had to repeat his words. “I’m the son of a drug addict, I was a thief, used drugs myself, and I-I slept with men so they’d pay me and I could get drugs or food. I was arrested.”
“I heard everything. And I’m so fucking grateful you’re here with me right now and made it out of that horrible time alive. I’m not going to leave you or abandon you. You’re not the trash to be dumped or a piece of rotten fruit to be discarded. You’re a human being with faults. Tomorrow is always the second chance for the mistakes of today.”
A sob tore from him, and he clung to André, shaking so hard, he marveled that he didn’t fly apart.
Eventually, drained dry of all the tears, he lifted his head from André’s soaked shoulder and stepped away. “I’m not asking you to make that decision now. You might wake up tomorrow and feel the exact opposite.”
“Have you been listening to me?”
“I should be the one asking that question. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t trust myself or have enough trust in us to tell you sooner.”
The lines on André’s face gentled. “I wish you had, but look how far you’ve come. You have friends who love you, and an amazing career. It’s painful to hear about your past, but I can’t blame you for wanting to hide it.”
The impact of André’s words began to filter through his muddled brain. “You don’t?”
“No. Because I’m guilty as well. I can’t pretend Kyle didn’t hurt me with his rejection, and I shouldn’t have kept that from you. We need to learn to open up to each other.”
Did he dare hope that it would all work out? “Is that something we should work on…going forward?” He held his breath.
“I think it’s imperative for married couples to keep the lines of communication open.”
“You still want to marry me?”
André cupped his face between the palms of his hands. “I never stopped wanting. I think we’ve both learned a good lesson.” The warmth of the gentle kiss breathed life into Chess, and he held on to André, wanting to drown in his love. “Now, my love, we have a dinner to attend.”
He’d almost forgotten, and a shiver ran through him. “What are you going to tell your mother?”
A grim smile crossed André’s face. “I guess we’ll have to see.”
Hand in hand, they left the library and returned to the dining room, where the uproar of voices quieted as they walked in. Chess saw his friends home in on his and André’s clasped hands, and Wolf smiled.
André said, “I’m sorry dinner’s been delayed, but I think now we can continue. Is everyone hungry?”
Chess had to press his lips together to keep from laughing. Only André could deadpan a delivery like that, and from the stunned expressions on Margery’s and Kyle’s faces, it had the intended effect.
André pulled out his chair and sat, and Chess did the same. Immediately, Bianca linked her arm through his and put her lips to his ear. “You’re okay, right? Everything’s good?”
He allowed himself a little smile and nodded. “Yes. It’s going to be fine.”
“Good.” She kissed his cheek. “I’d hate to have to smack sense into André, but I was prepared. We love you. It doesn’t matter what happened when you were a kid. My mother would have a heart attack if she found out some of the things I’ve done.”
Chess didn’t want to correct her, but the past did matter, if only to serve as a foundation for the future. And while Bianca was ready to forgive and forget, he didn’t have long to wait to hear what Margery had to say.
“What’s happening here?” Her eyes flashed dangerously.
“I’d like to know, Mother, how you came by that information.” André fixed her with a cold stare. “Juvenile records, from what I know, are normally sealed. Wolf, am I correct?”
