“What did he look like?”
For days he’d unsuccessfully tried to wipe that picture from his brain. “He had brown hair. I couldn’t see his face because it was smashed so close to yours.” Sourness burned in his stomach. “You held him around the neck and looked so…so blissful. Into him.”
“There is no way in hell I wasn’t drunk out of my mind when that picture was taken. I could’ve been kissing a trash can and it would’ve meant the same to me.”
“But you weren’t. You were kissing a man. A man who wasn’t me.”
“And I’m so sorry. I know it’s a horrible betrayal of your trust, and I’m so sorry I lost control and kissed someone else. It was a mistake. A stupid, stupid mistake for me to drink so much. Henry grabbed me, and I left and went to bed. Chess, love…sweetheart, tell me what I can do to make this up to you. I love you so much.” André’s hand curled into a fist. “I take full responsibility, but I swear on my life I didn’t sleep with him or anyone. I drank too much, which has never happened before. I let myself get sucked into the excitement of this huge deal, and I was excited to come home to you. It was stupid and foolish, and I regret losing control. I went to bed alone and woke up alone. I swear on my life.”
As a teenager, Chess had given his body to so many men, hoping to dull the pain of losing his mother and not being wanted by the man he’d thought was his father. He’d fallen into the pit of self-abuse because nothing mattered other than chasing the anger from his blood, replacing it for a while with a high that left him even more damaged. Social services had sent him to therapy, but he hadn’t wanted to sit for an hour talking to some random doctor who pretended to care. He’d wanted a mother who would kiss him and tell him it was going to be okay. He’d wanted a father who would hug him one last time. But it wasn’t ever going to happen, and so he’d fucked every guy who looked his way, while deep down, hoping against hope that one day he’d find love.
Eventually he managed to stop that vicious cycle, turned his life around, and then the unexpected happened—he met André, and if ever the term “swept off his feet” was appropriate, it was that night when he found his forever.
And for nine years, André had been his fairy tale, his Prince Charming at the ball, rescuing him from a life of loneliness. Until those pictures shattered his illusions. He’d once told Elliot not to look to anyone else’s relationship as a gold standard, but he never thought he’d be fighting for his own.
“I want to believe you.”
“Please…I didn’t sleep with anyone else. I’ll make you a promise: if I go on any business trips, I won’t go out after dinner at all. No more clubs for me.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go on any trips.” Chess threw it out there, taking a chance, the ring on his finger giving him more confidence than he’d ever had before. “I miss you when you’re not home. And I know the business is your responsibility, but so is our relationship, and it’s hard to work on it when you’re half a world away for weeks at a time. Especially if we’re going to get married. I understand occasional trips are needed, but not half the year.”
Surprise widened André’s eyes, but then the beautiful smile Chess loved but had seen so rarely the past year broke across André’s face.
“I want that more than anything. I spoke to my mother and told her I wanted to slow down. I’m tired of crisscrossing the world and living out of a suitcase, but most of all, I’m tired of being away from you.”
“Margery couldn’t have been happy about that.”
André lifted a shoulder. “When I left, I was at the point where if I wasn’t ready to give it up completely, I needed a long break, at the very least. Now?” His eyes clouded, and the beautiful mouth Chess loved to kiss tightened in anger. “I’m not sure I ever want to return.” Both hands grasped Chess’s. “If someone is trying to sabotage our relationship, I promise I’ll find out. I won’t let anyone destroy who and what I love. And believe me, I love you and our life more than I do anything else, including the business. If that means not only taking a simple break for a while, but walking away, so be it.”
“Do you have any idea who it could be? It seemed so calculated, to tag me, then remove the notification.”
“If I ever do find out, they’re going to wish they’d never known me. Mark my words.”
It wasn’t often he’d seen this hard side of André, who usually kept the business and their personal life separate. The level of André’s anger startled him, but in a way it was comforting to see. He no longer believed André had kissed another man purposefully. To continue the conversation would be pointless. They’d reached an impasse—he’d confronted André and could now either accept his explanation and believe him, or walk away.
He could no more walk away from André than he could stop his heart from beating.
“I love you. And I believe you.” As he spoke, relief filled André’s eyes. “But I’m hoping you meant it when you said you’ll slow down. It’s not only our relationship I worry for; it’s your health. You’re under too much stress, and that’s not good. You don’t want to have a heart attack. It’s not worth it. You have enough money for three lifetimes, and I need you for this one. With me.”
André jumped to his feet and pulled him up with him, kissing and hugging him. “I promise. This will be a different year. A year to remember. Our year. I love you, and I want to marry you.”
Chess held on to him, giving himself to the wildness that only André could set free inside him. A crack in the foundation can force you to break apart or dig your roots even deeper. Chess chose to stay and love André deeper, harder, and with every bit of strength he possessed, to stay in place and build on their love.
André deepened their kiss, sliding their tongues together. “I love you so much. Especially now that you’re wearing my ring.”
Chess held his hand out to admire the heavy, wide band. “It’s beautiful. And I think your father would’ve been happy.”
“There’s not a doubt in my mind. You filled the places I couldn’t, and Henry and Bianca never even tried.”
“I’ll never understand those two. What do they do all day long? How many clubs and parties can someone attend?” Chess picked up his glass of champagne.
Henry’s and Bianca’s antics had always bothered André, and over the years he’d attempted a host of different tactics to pique their interest in working for the company and, as Chess had hoped, pick up some of André’s burden, but they’d brushed it all off and continued partying—and as far as Chess was concerned, wasting their lives. They would come home infrequently, drifting into their lives to say hello, then leaving as precipitously. Months would pass without André hearing from them again, but if Margery insisted, they’d make a showing, knowing full well on what side their bread was buttered. But he didn’t want to ruin his special moment thinking about two people who didn’t seem to want to grow up and take on responsibilities.
They nibbled on the cheese and fruit and sipped champagne, the bubbles dancing on his tongue like joyful music, and Chess asked, “Did you tell anyone?”
“What, that I was planning on proposing?” André gazed into his glass. “No,Ididn’t even know until I saw you with the sun in your eyes, your face lit up, so excited about that painting in the art gallery. I caught your fire.” Heat simmered in his eyes, and Chess’s heart pounded. “Like that first night we met, being with you overwhelmed me, and it just came out. When we go to the house for dinner, I’ll call my mother and tell her our news.”
“I’m so lucky. I never dreamed…” He stopped, unable to verbalize what he’d held so close to his heart for so long. That he’d never bothered to dream because he didn’t really believe luck and love existed for a guy like him. “I love you so much.”
