“We’re not fighting. We’re trying to get Elliot here to figure out what he wants in a man. There has to be a reason why every guy he goes out with is a disaster.”
“It’s not that they’re a disaster. It’s that they’re…not much of anything. That’s the problem.” His appetite gone, Elliot pushed away his plate.
“As much as I want to talk about this because I have a lot to say”—Spencer waved his fork in their faces—“can we finish our dinner first? I’m starving. We had meetings all day with hardly a break, and I didn’t make lunch for myself. I’m not like Elliot.”
Elliot shrugged. “Some of us plan ahead.”
“Some of us were too busygettinghead to think about next day’s lunch. I’ll take a blowjob over a tuna sandwich any day.” Spencer cackled while the rest of them groaned. “What? You know I’m right. I had my third time with a photographer’s assistant yesterday, andgoddamn. That man’s lips are so talented, I think he can suck my brain out through my dick.”
“Mission accomplished, I’d say,” Wolf said dryly, and at their laughter, Spencer flipped them all off. “Must you be so crass?”
“Must you keep that stick so far up your ass?” Spencer countered. “How do you even have sex if you never unclench? Oh, right, you probably don’t.”
Elliot decided more wine was definitely in order and finished off his glass. “Can we have just one dinner where you two aren’t at each other’s throats?”
“Oh, it’s all fun and games. Wolfie knows I love him.” To prove it, Spencer gave Wolf a smooch on his cheek, and of course Wolf grimaced.
“I’ll need an antibacterial scrub tonight.”
They ate their meals in silence, Elliot forcing himself to finish since he hadn’t had a chance to go to the supermarket for his weekly shopping. He’d been eating at Brian’s for the most part, but now that was over. Another failure.
Wendy came to clear the plates and brought coffees for the guys and a tea for him, and Elliot sipped slowly, hoping it would help relax him. He hadn’t slept well lately, and being alone in the house kind of freaked him out.
“What you need is a plan. A list, really.” Spencer pulled a small leather notebook from his suit jacket pocket and extracted the silver pen from the holder. As the head buyer for a luxury men’s clothing brand, Spencer endured their teasing that even his underwear had designer labels, but he cared even less about their opinions on that than he did concerning his sex life. “We’re going to write it out for you, and this time you need to stick with it.”
“A list, huh?” Elliot tapped his cheek. “Like height and weight and that stuff?”
Spencer snorted. “As if. Anyway, you’re a planner, so I know you’re gonna love this. You’re always making lists about everything.”
“And a good thing I do.” Elliot smirked and elbowed Spencer. “How many times did I have to follow your drunk ass around Wegmans, telling you we didn’t need eight tubs of Mint Chip Haagen-Dazs or ten boxes of frozen Mama Lucia’s meatballs?”
“You always were a buzzkill. You never let me have any fun.”
Wolf said, “So glad I was busy studying instead of joining you on those late-night foraging expeditions.” He dabbed at his lips with the napkin. “What’s number one on your list? Let’s see if there’s anything to work with.”
“Damn. Wolfie agrees with me?” Pen held aloft, Spencer placed his other hand over his heart. “I should tattoo this date on my ass.”
Wolf raised a sleek, dark brow. “Now there’s a picture I’d rather not imagine. Elliot? This is your list. What’re you looking for?”
All three friends gazed at him expectantly.
Elliot thought. “Well…he has to be kind.”
Spencer said nothing, but his lip curled in a smile. “Kind. Of course.” He wrote a word. “Next?”
“I mean, I want someone good-looking, but that’s so subjective. I’m not only about the physical.”
Spencer bit his lip. “Mmm. Oh, I’m sure. So what else?”
“Someone with a positive outlook. I don’t want a guy who’s negative and likes to put others down. This is hard.…I don’t really have a type of guy I’m looking for. For me, it’s all about the connection.”
“Makes sense.” Wolf sipped his drink. “But you do have a type, Elliot. We’ve seen you date the same type over the years—the Zen, slightly flaky, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. Usually out of work, perpetually searching for the perfect job that would allow him to express himself but never finding it.”
Mouth hanging open, Elliot stared at him. “Okay…not like you have an opinion or anything.”
Wolf shrugged, his broad shoulders shifting underneath his well-tailored suit. “As your college roommate, I think I’m well qualified.” His hard jaw softened. “And even though that one suggested it”—he tipped his head toward Spencer—“making a list of qualities you’re looking for in a man might not be such a bad idea. As I see it, you want a relationship and a romantic man. Someone who’s going to be there for you if you have a bad day, with a glass of wine and a foot rub.” His lips pursed as if he smelled bad cheese, and Elliot laughed.
“Obviously not your thing.”
