“It’s true.”
“Yeah, okay. This is me you’re talking to. That answer’s going to fly as well as a dodo bird and about as far.Sooo?Have you two gotten close?”
Close.Such an inadequate word to describe his relationship with Jude, but then how could he voice what Jude had become to him?
He closed his eyes, remembering their times together. The warm sweep of Jude’s tongue along his neck, the play of his strong fingers inside him. Kisses, so deep and passionate, Mason clung to Jude, afraid to let the moment go, yet afraid to hold on too tightly in case it all turned out to be a dream and he was left holding only the past.
“We—Ifucked up.” He sat in a chair, staring at the ceiling as if the unbroken surface hid the answers to all his problems.
“Tell me,” she said simply. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
He and Ilana had always had a close relationship, so he hesitated for only a second, reluctant to reveal how deeply involved he’d become with Jude and what had happened before telling her almost everything.
“But you love him,” Ilana prodded. “And he loves you. Don’t tell me you said it and he didn’t. I swear I’ll kill him.”
His lips twitched. “N-no, he said it. But that was before everything exploded. Now?” He folded the pillow in half and curled into a ball. “I have no clue.”
He heard her ask for the check, and he winced. “I’m sorry to talk about this while you’re so stressed. Jude and I will work it out. Do you have to go?”
“In a minute. This is too important to squeeze into a rushed conversation on the phone, so wewilltalk later, but you have to understand some things about my brother.” Her voice gentled. “Jude doesn’t think he has anything to offer in a relationship. As far as I know, he’s never had one. Once he and Doug left grad school and started The Company, their work took up every free second, and he’s never given himself the chance to be with anyone. Other than the business, his main focus was to watch over me. Do you want to know what I think?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“He’s scared.”
“Jude? Scared? I dunno. He can make people nervous simply by giving themthatlook. He doesn’t even have to say anything. You know which one I mean.” Mason had never seen Jude afraid of anything or anyone.
“That’s business. It’s easy. When it comes to the heart, he’s in the dark, stumbling around like the rest of us. Your job is to show him there’s no problem love can’t solve if you’re willing to try.”
He smiled. “Thanks for being my therapist. I’ll let you go now. Give Doug a kiss for me.”
“I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
He ended the call and lay there thinking. At twenty, he’d thought he knew it all and enjoyed pushing people’s buttons to get any reaction, good or bad. Life had been a game with no repercussions. If he screwed up, he’d use his charm and smile to wiggle out of most tight situations. Now, at thirty, it took being knocked to his knees to figure out he didn’t know anything at all and that running away didn’t solve the problems left behind. They waited for you in the dark, ready to rear up and take you down the moment you showed weakness.
Shadows slanted along the wall, and Mason still lay in bed, brooding over how he left it with Jude. With a sigh, he got up, pocketed his phone, and picked up his keys. Time to act like the adult he swore he’d become.
He pushed open the front door of his building, and the first thing he saw was Jude. His heart leaped, but he tried to remain collected and calm.
“Hi,” Jude said, biting his lip in that adorable way Mason had learned gave away how nervous he was. Pale, with shadows ringing his eyes and lines etched across his brow, Jude appeared to be a man fighting with the devil. Or himself.
“Hi, yourself. What’re you doing here? Looking for a new place?” He slouched against the rough brick surface of the building. “This would be a downgrade for you.”
“That depends. Can we talk? Or were you on your way someplace?”
“Just to see you.”
A brief flicker of yearning sprang to Jude’s eyes. “You were?”
“Yeah. Can we go to your place? I’ve been sitting in that one room all afternoon, and I’m sick of my own company at this point.”
A dimple came and went in the hollow of Jude’s cheek. It was one of Mason’s favorite places to kiss. “Come on, then.”
They didn’t speak again until they entered Jude’s apartment.
Mason sat on the sectional couch in his spot, where the curve began. “You left the office? Didn’t you have a meeting?”
