“It’s not like I was a hermit, you know. I didn’t sit holed up in the office or my apartment all the time. I met people.” Jude bristled at Mason’s skeptical expression. “I don’t walk into the office and announce I had sex the night before. My personal life is just that. Personal.” He removed the condom and tossed it in the wastebasket.
“Jude,” Mason said with a patient smile. “You told me yourself—you’ve never had a relationship. But what about dating? Was that a swipe-right, fuck-’em-and-duck-’em, wham-bam-out-the-door kind of thing?”
“You’re so elegant in your descriptives. Remind me to never put you on creating advertising copy.”
“And you love to deflect.”
“What do you want?”
“To be with you.”
The direct honesty was unexpected, and a hot rush of excitement and cold dread raced through Jude simultaneously.
Mason, clearly having taken his silence for rejection, left the bed and began to dress.
“Where’re you going?” Jude forced out, helplessly watching Mason zip up his shorts.
“Home.”
Jude’s hands balled into fists on the comforter. He didn’t want that.
“Mason…please.”
Those long fingers Jude loved to have skimming over his skin faltered on the button of his shorts, but then Mason resumed dressing.
“It’s fine. Going into this…thing with you, I had my eyes open the whole time. I knew you probably wouldn’t take me seriously, and I don’t blame you.” Weariness ringed his eyes. “I’m still figuring it all out myself.” He walked out, leaving Jude to scramble after him.
Watching Mason slide his feet into his flip-flops and collect his phone, Jude, breath heavy in his chest, knew he had to make a decision.
And there really was no decision at all.
“Mason.”
“Don’t worry.” The forced, brittle smile was painful to see on Mason’s naturally bright face. “All good. Not like we were in love or anything crazy. We had a great time in bed and some laughs. Where’s my candy bag? Oh, there.” He picked up the small shopping bag, which gave Jude enough time to corner him against the island. Mason stiffened against him. “Jude, stop.”
“No.”
Anger flared in Mason’s eyes. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.” He cupped Mason’s face, watching the hurt melt away, replaced by an intent awareness. The pad of his thumb caressed Mason’s cheekbone and smoothed its way down to rest on his full lower lip. “I was so busy thinking about who you were, I was missing who you are. I’m choosing to forget and not regret.”
“That’s catchy. You should be in advertising or something.” Mason kissed the tip of his finger, setting off a tingle at the base of his spine.
“I’m still not sure what to do, but I know that if I spend my whole life looking back, I’ll never move forward.”
Mason’s eyes glowed. “And you want to move forward? With me?”
He could stay here in this apartment as he’d done his whole life and be satisfied. He had Edith to take care of, and eventually when Ilana had a baby, he’d have a niece or nephew to watch over.
But Mason would move on and find someone else, because while Jude might not know much about relationships and love, what he did know was that Mason Reiner wasn’t meant to be alone.
“I’ve said this before. I’m not a social person. I don’t enjoy clubs or dancing or parties. My days are filled with work and family, and I’m happiest coming home and enjoying the quiet. Home is where I recharge.” He rested his cheek against Mason’s. “But when I think of you not being with me…it doesn’t sit right. You should be here. Next to me.”
Mason’s hand cupped his face. “I like being next to you.” He leaned into Jude, and his mouth tasted like a promise, warm and sweet. “With you inside me.”
“So stay. Stay with me.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
