An hour later they deposited Foxy with Edith, who took one look at them and shooed them off.
“Go on. I remember what it was like to be young and in lust. Have a good night.”
Mason smothered a laugh, but Jude, as embarrassed as he was to have his personal life on display, hesitated. “I’m sorry if I’ve been neglecting you. I promise to spend more time with you.”
Faded blue eyes met his, and they warmed with her tender smile. “This is life. We live our stories, and then we get old and sit back and watch others create their own. It’s your time now.” She gave him a little push and whispered, “Besides, I’ll get it out of you at some point. You can’t keep anything from me.”
True. Jude kissed her Chanel-scented cheek, and with Mason on his heels, walked down the hall to his apartment. Once inside, he closed the door and tossed his keys into the bowl by the door. He kicked off his sneakers and went to the sink for a glass of water. It was then that he noticed Mason standing there with an uncertain expression.
“What? You’ve got a funny look on your face.”
“Is something wrong?” Mason asked. “You got so quiet all of a sudden.”
Jude drank his water and set the glass on the counter. “No. This is me. I’m quiet. I’m not a run-to-the-clubs, stay-out-all-night guy.”
Frowning, Mason folded his arms. “And after today you think that’s all I care about? You still refuse to see past who we were ten years ago?” Mason advanced toward him and he retreated to safety, behind the kitchen island. “That’s what you do? Run away? Dammit, Jude. What’re you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid.”
Liar, liar.
“Bullshit. Even now you’re too scared to stand next to me. Why? Because I made you feel something? Because I got beneath your skin?”
“Yeah. You’re like an annoying mosquito bite.”
“Stop it. Stop acting like it doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter. You matter. I just…you don’t understand.”
“Then make me.”
Never, not even with Ilana, had he been this honest. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. In a relationship, I mean. By the time I was in my teens, my mother was so weak…” His head drooped, and it killed him to say the words, feeling disloyal to her, but Mason deserved to know. “She couldn’t hug me and could barely hold my hand.” He began to shake.
“Jude.” Mason stood behind him. “I can’t imagine how that must’ve been for your mother, knowing how much she loved you. And for you.”
“I was afraid if I hugged her too hard, I’d hurt her, so I stopped. I’d kiss her cheek or touch her hand, but there were times I needed more, and I hated myself for wanting what she couldn’t give me. It kept me away from relationships because I felt awkward. I didn’t want to hold their hand or touch them. I wasn’t sure how. I never knew.”
God, he was such an awkward dunce.
Mason slid his arms around his waist, and the frantic beat of his heart settled to its normal rhythm.
“And now you do?”
“No. I still don’t. I don’t know what to do or say. Work is easy—I know what to do and numbers are black and white. This—what’s happening between us…I’m constantly second-guessing myself.” He braced his hands on the cool quartz countertop. “What do you want from me?”
“I want it all, but only if you’ll let me have it willingly. I’m not going to beg you to want to be with me.”
Jude met Mason’s unflinching gaze, and the raw honesty in it took his breath away.
“It was never about wanting you. That’s the easy part. Once I started touching you, I didn’t want to stop.”
Intense golden eyes met his, and Mason’s hard jaw softened. “Then tell me. I thought we connected today, more than ever before. What changed?”
“Nothing. That’s the problem.” Jude waved his hand in the air. “Nothing’s changed—not me. I’m still the same person you made fun of for being overprotective of Ilana and a hard-ass at work.”
“That was because I didn’t know who you were. Now I do.”
“And?”
