“That’s called self-discovery. And it can hurt. I know. I don’t expect to be the perfect parent anymore. I want to be the parent Stacey needs.” He tugged Shea’s hand. “Look at me, and tell me you don’t know what you want anymore.”
Shea held his gaze and blurted out, “I want you. I want the ranch. I want it all.”
That answer took Jake’s breath away.
He slid out of the booth, and ignoring the grins of Shea’s friends, they left the bar and drove home to the ranch. Shea sped as though the hounds of hell were after them, and when they arrived home, they sat together on the porch. Jake picked up the conversation from the bar.
“You said you don’t know who you are? I can tell you, Shea Montgomery.” Jake stared at that strong profile he’d grown to love. “You’re mine.” He held Shea’s face in the palm of his hand and kissed him so deep and hard, they both gasped for air when they separated. “You want it all?” Jake kissed him again and murmured in his ear, “Don’t you know you already have it?”
“I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Sure you do. You just said it at the Round Up. You want the ranch. You want me. Is that the truth?”
“I don’t want to sell the ranch.” Shea dropped his head in his hands, and Jake hurt for him, but he knew this was something only Shea could work through. “I don’t want to leave here.”
“I know.” Jake rubbed Shea’s back and kissed his cheek. “I know you don’t.”
“But I want to be with you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Oh, babe, you can’t do that. Wherever I am, there’s you. Only us. Together.” The breeze blew the sweet evening fragrance of forget-me-nots around them. He swept his lips over Shea’s cheek. “I love you, Shea.”
“I don’t want to be apart from you. It’s killin’ me to think you’re goin’ away tomorrow, and I don’t know when I’m gonna see you again.” Shea’s lips came down on his, and in their kiss Jake tasted pain, hope, and love. “I love you too. I don’t want to let you go.”
“When you love someone, they’re always with you, even when you have to be apart. You’re not letting me go, because I’ll still be here. In your heart.” He placed a hand over Shea’s heart and took Shea’s hand to cover his own. “Like you are in mine.”
“So what are we gonna do?”
For the first time, Shea sounded lost and unsure, which made Jake love him even more. It was good to see Shea, always so strong, be a little vulnerable and needy.
“What do you want?”
“If I have to split my time between here and New York until we figure it out, that’s what I want to do. Because seeing you and Stacey walk away tomorrow is gonna rip out a piece of my heart.”
“Then don’t let us.”
Shea blinked, and his face flushed dark. “What’re you talkin’ ’bout?”
Jake had come here hoping to find himself, and in turn he’d lost his heart to Shea.
“Working it out. Together. Because together is what we are from now on.”
“You still want to own the ranch? Are you serious?”
Jake frowned. “Why would you think I’m not being serious? I don’t joke about business or pleasure. Both are important to me.”
Shea took his hand. “You’re important to me.”
Jake leaned over for a kiss, and the smile that broke across Shea’s face turned his heart upside down. “Then there’s no problem. Now can we stop talking?” Jake undid the top button of Shea’s shirt. “Because I still have to leave tomorrow, and I need something to think about until you come to New York again.”
Shea palmed his jaw, and their lips met in a sweet, unhurried kiss. “My apartment.”
They continued to kiss as they walked into the ranch house and turned the opposite way from the guest rooms. Shea nuzzled under his ear, and Jake’s legs wobbled. One touch from Shea left him weak with desire.
Once inside Shea’s bedroom, he was pushed against the wall, and Shea murmured in his ear, “I love you. I knew the first time I saw you I wasn’t gonna be able to forget you.”
Jake rested his arms over Shea’s shoulders. “I’ve been called unforgettable.” He ran his nose down Shea’s cheek. “Among other things.”
“I can only imagine, and I’ll have to find out what those things are.” Shea cupped the bulge in Jake’s pants, and along with a wicked smile, gave him a squeeze that set his blood on fire. “Right now I get to call you mine. All mine.”
