“You don’t know the half of it.” Maybe he should tell Shea and get his opinion on what Stacey said about Brian. “Want to come with me while I put her to bed?”
“Absolutely.” His rapt gaze turned dark and smoldering, and a throb of lust swelled inside Jake in response.
Careful to move without rousing her, Jake lifted Stacey and held her against his shoulder. He caught Terry’s eyes, and when she began to rise, he pointed to her chair and mouthed,Stay.She nodded and returned to singing along, but not before Jake saw a tiny smile tug at her lips.
Their feet crunched on the gravel path, and Jake waited for Shea to hold the door open for him, then followed him inside.
“If you take my wallet out of my back pocket, the card key is in there for her room.”
Shea did as asked, and they walked inside the double suite. Jake slipped off her little sandals with the flowers, and Shea pulled the covers back so he could put her down. Not once did she stir, and Jake stood there for a moment, gazing at her. He wondered if his mother had ever sat up at night, scared and lonely, the responsibility for another human being weighing heavy on her shoulders. He’d never felt so insignificant and incapable as he had these past two years. He turned on the night-light and closed the door to her room.
He desperately wanted to know what Stacey meant by“Papa said don’t tell.”About what? Did she see something? Did he do something? Unused to the uncertainty, he sat on the sofa in the little living room, and Shea, who’d remained silent throughout, took a seat at the opposite end.
“What’s goin’ through that head of yours?” Shea’s deep rumble broke into his thoughts.
Jake’s lips twitched. “You know, I used to be good at hiding my thoughts. It’s part of my job.” He sighed and pushed his hands through his hair. “I never planned on raising a child by myself. Sometimes I wonder if I’m strong enough to handle it all or if I’m being selfish.”
“Selfish how?” Shea leaned forward, his brows furrowed. “You give her everythin’ you’ve got. And more, from what I see.”
“I’d give her my life. And yet even with all that, she’s still like this. Locked in a silence I can’t penetrate. What if it’s me failing her?” Even as he said that, he wanted to rush into her room and grab hold of her, as if a threat to take her from him existed. But Jake knew the only threat was in his mind.
He found himself pulled to Shea’s broad chest, and it felt so damn good for once to be held. “No one could love that little girl more than you. It’s only natural to doubt yourself—everyone makes mistakes. But don’t ever think you’re not the best damn daddy I’ve ever seen.”
The comfortingthumpof Shea’s heart played against his ear. “Tell me about your father. I know you miss him.” Shea stiffened, and Jake raised his head to meet Shea’s gaze. “This can’t only be about me, you know. Let me in a little.”
Shea stayed quiet for a while, his fingers playing in Jake’s hair, then said, “My mother died giving birth to me, and my daddy didn’t have a clue what to do. My Aunt Patty stepped up and took over carin’ for me so he could run the ranch, but he never missed a dinner or a game at school. He taught me everythin’ I know about going after what I want and never takin’ no for an answer. But he was also kind and gentle and cared about people.”
“And you put your life on hold when he got sick.”
“Someone’s been talkin’ outta school,” Shea muttered. “I don’t like my personal life spread all over the place.”
“It isn’t wrong for me to want to know more about the man I’m sleeping with. I let you not only into my life, but my daughter’s.” Jake sat up. “I let you insideme,for God’s sake. What the hell could be more personal than that?”
“I miss him so damn much,” Shea blurted, and Jake held his breath while his heart pounded in loud, painful beats. “Each mornin’ after breakfast we’d ride out together and talk about everythin’ under the sun. I was never afraid to ask him anythin’, but now I’m…I’m scared. What if I can’t handle it all without him? It wasn’t right for him to go so quick.” Agonized blue eyes met his. “I never got the chance to figure it all out.”
“Do you want to sell the ranch because you don’t want to live here anymore like you thought, or because you’re afraid of never living up to who you think your father wanted you to be?”
Shea had no time to answer. The door clicked open, and Terry walked in. “I wasn’t sure if Stacey was in here or in your suite.”
“She’s in bed and didn’t even open her eyes when I put her down. You could’ve stayed longer. I’m fine sitting here with her.”
“Patty refused to let me help her clean up, so I figured I might as well come back here and do some reading.” She smiled at Shea, who’d gotten to his feet. “I can’t tell you how much I love it here. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m not happy about returning to all the noise and hustle-bustle of the city. I might look into buying a little place around here to use as a getaway. The plane ride isn’t so bad.”
“It does get a little too quiet sometimes. But I reckon you and Patty’ll keep each other company.”
“We hit it off right away. She’s a terrific woman.”
“The best.”
Terry kicked off her sandals. “Go ahead to bed, Jake. Stacey will be fine. And maybe tomorrow there’ll be even bigger and better things to come.”
He hugged her. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Sure you could. But you don’t have to.” She waved at Shea, who waited by the door. “Good night, Shea.”
“Night, Miss Terry.”
He and Shea left, traveling the distance between the two rooms in silence. He stopped outside his room. “Would you like to come in for a drink?”
