I’d finished plating one dish when I heard the toilet flush, and hurried to do the second, then carried them both upstairs on a tray, along with the coffee. Frisco lay with one arm over his head, the sheets at his waist exposing his hard, muscled chest, and at the sight of all that smooth olive skin, I wanted to lick him. All over. I blinked at my insanely erotic thoughts and set the tray at the foot of the bed.
“Good morning.”
“Keep thinking what you’re thinking.” His hot blue gaze traveled over me, and my cock stirred.
I struck a pose. “Listen, buddy. I slaved over a hot stove for this.” I brought over the plates in one hand and our coffees in the other. Years of waiting tables had taught me how to handle multiple dishes. “But I’m happy to feed you. If you want.”
He took his coffee and food, and I set mine on the night table next to the bed and slipped in beside him. I held a piece of bacon to his lips. “Open wide.”
“Only if you eat it with me.” He took it from me and tapped the opposite end. “We can meet in the middle.”
“What is this,Lady and the Tramp?”
He snickered. “Are you calling me a tramp?”
“No, you idiot, the Disney movie.”
Still receiving a blank stare, I continued. “Oh, come on. You’ve never seen the movie where the dogs are eating the spaghetti and they meet in the middle and kiss?”
“It’s not like my parents ever took me to the movies. So no. I never saw the movie, and if you’d stop talking and start eating, maybe I’d get to finally kiss you.” He took the bacon from my hand. “Now eat it with me.”
He put the piece between his teeth, I did the same on my end, and together we crunched our way until our lips met. The kiss was gentle and tasted salty-sweet. He let me go, licked his lips, and picked up his coffee cup.
“Delicious. Now, to what do I owe the honor of this feast?”
He sipped, and I hesitated, then decided to hell with it. “You had a rough night.”
He blinked and took another sip. “Do tell.”
I exhaled. “I woke up, and you were sweating like crazy, rolling around the bed and yelling out.”
“Maybe I was having a hot dream about you.” But I could see from the wary expression in his eyes that he didn’t believe that one damn bit.
“Don’t joke. It upset me to see you hurting, and I felt helpless.” I bit my lip, then plunged right in. “You, um…you mentioned Luca. And were asking him to stop.” He tensed, and I put my hand out, but when he didn’t take it, I curled my fingers away. “Did he ever…hurt you?”
Waiting for Frisco to respond was torture, and watching the anger, pain, and struggle sweep across his face, I wasn’t sure if he would tell me, or if he’d say it was none of my goddamn business and throw me out.
He put the cup on the night table. “I remember my first time. Vividly.”
“I think it’s natural to. We all remember. It’s normally not the most pleasant.” Mine hadn’t been, but my college boyfriend Ryan and I had enjoyed the prep time, complete with kisses and blowjobs.
“Did yours involve incredible pain and little prep?” He didn’t look at me, and the beautiful mouth I loved to see laughing had thinned to a trembling white line. “I was so anxious to please, and he reassured me it would be fine. That I would finally be his. And I loved him and wanted him so bad, I’d have followed him anywhere. When we started, I thought he’d let me top him, but he laughed and told me no, get on the bed. He’d make me feel good. And I believed him, so I did what he said. But it hurt.” Frisco closed his eyes. “My God, it hurt so much. He just stuck his fingers inside me for a bit, then rammed his dick in and came in a few minutes. I tried to get away…I felt like I was being split apart, but he held me tight and said I was perfect and beautiful and that he loved me. He said it…and so I tried to forget the pain.”
“I wish this hadn’t happened to you.” Such fucking inadequate words, but what else was there to say? I wanted to hunt that bastard down and beat the shit out of him for a decades-old wrong.
“I hurt for days, even bled. He told me it was natural, and that if I didn’t want to fuck him anymore, I didn’t have to. He’d find someone else. So of course I told him I did, but I was still hurting. Inside. ‘We can do other things,’ he said. ‘Because I love you.’” He swallowed hard. “That’s when he showed me how to give blowjobs. He was hard and forceful and loved shoving his dick hard, deep into my throat.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “Luca told me he was teaching me how to get around my gag reflex, but it never worked. And until you, I’ve never given one again. I couldn’t stand the thought of someone in my mouth.”
And I couldn’t stand one more minute of seeing Frisco so lost and alone with me sitting beside him. I put my arms around him, and he grew stiff.
“Don’t you dare feel sorry for me. I knew exactly what I was doing. I wanted him. I loved him.”
But I knew this man in my arms now. He couldn’t fool me. “You loved him? Like you love me? Is it the same?”
“No,” Frisco whispered and clutched at me, burying his face in my neck. “He brought me into darkness. You made me see the light.”
“Babe, don’t you see? That wasn’t love. It was obsession. Lust. Call it what you want. Real love needs time to grow, to have its roots watered and be taken care of. Think of it like a tree. We have season after season to care for each other and make sure the leaves keep renewing and thriving.”
“But what if you’re already dead inside and waiting to fall? Maybe it’s too late for me to be saved, and I’ll never be free.”
