“Sure you are.” Roe kissed my cheek and let me go. “You’ve been waiting for over twenty years. Speak from your heart. It hasn’t let you down yet.”
When I opened the door, my mother didn’t wait to be invited inside; she marched right in as if expected. My father, looking weary, followed in her wake.
“Nice of you to drop by.”
“Don’t be a smartass.” She unbuttoned her cashmere coat and unwrapped the scarf from around her neck. My mother believed any temperature under sixty degrees called for boots and sweaters. I saw the moment she spied Roe standing in the living room where I’d left him, as her posture stiffened and her voice turned formal. “Oh, hello.”
“Hello. Did you have a nice flight?”
“Yes, thank you. You must be Monroe. Forgive me if I don’t recognize you. It’s been a long time.”
“Actually, I don’t think we’ve ever met. You were never home when I came to see Ezra.” My respect for Roe grew immensely as he faced my mother head on. “It’s good to finally meet you.”
Only Monroe could be pleasant to a person who’d set out to deliberately hurt him. He was a better man than I. My blood turned to ice, and I had to force myself to keep my voice steady and not shout. “Why are you both here? I thought I made it clear I didn’t want to talk until you apologized.”
“You did.” Ignoring my question, my mother perched on the edge of the couch, while my father chose to stand. “But we often say and do rash things we later regret. Sit down, please, so we can discuss this like adults.”
“I’m not in the habit of saying things I don’t mean.” Instead of following her command, I chose to stand by Roe’s side. The comforting warmth of his hand when he laced our fingers together showed me I’d never be alone even if my parents and I parted ways after this. “And as far as ‘discussing’ what happened, there’s nothing further for me to say, unless and until you apologize to us both for what you did. If we choose to accept it, then we can try and salvage our relationship.” I lifted our entwined hands. “Roe and I are together, and no one will keep us apart anymore.”
“It seems,” my mother said, speaking in a low voice I’d never heard before, “we were mistaken about many things. The first and most important being how close you and Monroe were when we left New York.”
“I don’t buy it, Mom. You knew, and that’s why you deceived me into thinking he’d stopped writing.”
Tears streamed down her face, and she dropped her Ice Princess facade for once. My father and Roe remained silent, but I clung to Roe’s hand like the lifeline it was.
“And even if you didn’t know when we left, you sure as hell found out when you read our letters, didn’t you?”
Her head hung low. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” My cheeks burned. What I wrote to Roe were glimpses into my realization that I loved him, plus some pretty sexually explicit things. “Sorry is what you say when you do something by accident. This was the most calculated betrayal of trust I could imagine. If it wasn’t my real life, I’d swear it was a movie script, and I’d probably tell the client it wasn’t a believable story at that.” I had to steel myself from feeling any sympathy for her crying on my couch. “After all, who would do that to their own child?”
“Ezra,” my father finally spoke, and I willingly turned away from the sight of my mother. “We’re not saying we were right in what we did.”
“You know, Dad, I’m glad to hear that because that would end this conversation right now, and all that flying would’ve been a waste.”
Ignoring my sarcasm, he twisted his cap in his hands. For my father and me to have a conversation that didn’t revolve around the business was kind of momentous. I’d never seen him show any interest in my life except how it related to the bottom line of the agency.
“I have no defense except that you were young and not the most mature individual. Our thought was to remove any and all distractions to you becoming an integral part of the agency. You needed to graduate high school and go to college. You were seventeen years old and not ready to settle down with anyone. What did you know about love?” He acknowledged Roe with a mere flick of a brow. “It wasn’t personal. We’d never met you, as you said earlier.” My father was a master at intimidation, but I needn’t have worried.
“I’d have to disagree with that,” Roe said mildly, even though I could tell by his body language that he was preparing to say something difficult. “I think if Ezra had become involved with someone who could have helped him and you and your business, you would’ve encouraged the relationship. I doubt you would’ve done what you did if I had money and prestige or the right connections.”
All spoken in that soft yet commanding way Roe had about him. No need for histrionics or shouting. Roe laid it out simply and candidly and demanded respect. Incredibly, I watched my father squirm, and for the first time I thought he’d been bested by an opponent.
“We love our son.”
“So do I.”
I didn’t think of my parents when I pressed my cheek to Roe’s and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I love you too.”
Defiant and with the strength of Roe’s love running through my veins, I faced my parents. “What’s next? Where do we go from here? Twenty-three years you kept this secret from me, and if I hadn’t come back to New York or met Roe again, I’d never have found out. I would’ve missed out on the one person I’d always loved. Does that matter to you? Does it mean anything? Or are you still so caught up in your nonsense of status and who you know that you’re willing to sacrifice my happiness on their altar?”
During my speech, my father had joined my mother and gave her tissues to dry her eyes. Watching them interact and knowing they anticipated each other’s every move made what I had to say even more imperative.
“You have the person who means the most to you. Isn’t it enough that so much of the world condemns me for who I love and want to be with? Shouldn’t my own parents, the ones who claim to love me the most, stand by my side and be my support?”
Through a fresh set of tears, my mother smiled at me. “You’re not the same man you were when you left LA. You’re stronger and tougher than I thought.”
I left Roe’s side and sat next to my mother, but I spoke to both my parents. “Maybe I always was. You just never took the time to figure me out because you were too busy fitting me in the box you wanted. But I’m my own person. And I’m going to do what I want and love who I want. Don’t make me choose how to be happy. I love you both, but it’s going to take me a long time to learn to trust you again. And if you force me to choose, I’m going to choose the person who never hurt or betrayed me.”
