“You thought you were in love. I can tell you it was lust. You were young, hormones were raging, and sex was all you could think about. Gay or straight, when you’re a teenager or in your twenties, sex is king.”
“I cared for Roe. He was my best friend, not only a lover.”
“Then maybe you should’ve tried harder. Maybe we were wrong in the way we handled it, but it’s been years. Why didn’t you try to get in touch with him?”
“I thought he didn’t want me.”
“Think of it as a deal you wanted. Would you believe someone else speaking for the client, or would you make sure to hear it from the source? Wouldn’t you want to hear it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak?”
Nowadays, of course I would, but when I was seventeen? What the hell did I know? It was hard enough to wait for his letters, and I supposed I could’ve made more of an effort to keep in touch. But hindsight is the best foresight.
My father’s words ran through my brain the rest of the day. He’d hit the crux of it. The real reason a wall still remained between Roe and me, no matter that we’d had sex.
Roe still believed I gave up on him. I was sure of it.
A text popped up on my phone around four thirty. It was from Roe.
Finally finished. R U planning on coming to my grandmother’s tonight?
I picked up the phone, my thumbs flying over the keyboard.
Yes. Want to pick me up at my office?
Yeah.
I waited and watched the little dots bouncing, indicating he was still writing.
Do you want to stay over?
Warmth wrapped around my chest.
Yeah.
See you soon.
Lighter than I’d been all day, I set the phone on my desk, and with a smile, finished reading an email from a potential new client. She was an aspiring model who’d talked to several of her friends who worked with me and wanted me to take her on. Whatever happened in the future, this person needed me now, and I emailed her back to make an appointment.
I took a shower and picked out a dark-green cashmere sweater and gray jeans. I kept a few changes of clothing in case of emergency spills during the day and for going out, and I’d just zipped up my pants when Sunny stuck his head in.
“Roe’s here.” A smile stretched across his face. “You look hot.”
“Shut up.” I threw my shirt at him. “Put that in the laundry, please, and send him in.”
“Yes, Boss.”
He ducked the dirty boxers I flung his way next, and laughing, caught them with one hand, bundled them up with the shirt, and retreated into the hall. I heard the deep richness of Roe’s voice and willed down the tingling at the base of my spine. Roe appeared in my doorway, a still-smirking Sunny at his side.
“Roe and I had a nice little chat.”
I shot him a stern look, but Sunny laughed and waved.
“Bye, guys.” He departed and left Roe alone with me.
“Hi.”
“Hi, yourself. Come on in. Want a drink?”
“No, thanks. If we’re going to meet with my grandmother, I’ll need my full faculties.”
