“So you told him I’d moved on and that he shouldn’t call again.” I wasn’t sure how I kept my cool.
“Don’t you see it was better for both of you? He could find someone like him in New York, and you’d be free to do as you wanted. You were way too young to make such crazy promises to each other.”
I’d never known my mother possessed such balls. “And you thought you had the right to make that decision. Without telling me.”
“We’re your parents. We’re always going to do what we think is best for you.”
“And my letters? I’m guessing when I left them for Marguerite to mail, she never did?” How dare they make Marguerite an accessory to their lies? It wasn’t fair.
I half expected to look down at the floor and see the broken pieces of my heart scattered at my feet. What an utter disaster.
“No. And she was instructed not to give you his.”
“Did you threaten her job if she didn’t help you?”
She remained quiet, but I didn’t need an answer. Roe’s incredulous gaze met mine. A red haze fell over my eyes and bile crept up my throat.
“What did you do with the letters? Mine and Roe’s,” I croaked out.
“I burned them.”
Roe cradled his head in his hands, but I was too numb and broken to offer comfort. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, hugging myself around the waist.
“I want you to listen to me because this might be the last time you hear my voice. I’ll never forgive you. Ever. You took something so precious to me, someone who meant more to me than anyone, and treated him like he was nothing. Was I ever anything more than a pawn in your game of life, to place where you wanted? Well,Mother,” I sneered, putting my hand to my chest, to feel a hole where my heart had been ripped out, “the game is over. And guess what? You lose. You lost me as a son, so mission not accomplished. I hope you’re happy.”
“Ezra,” she screeched. “You don’t understand.”
“Explain it to me,” I roared. “Tell me how it was for the best to cut me off from the one person who always understood me and loved me unconditionally. Tell me why you thought you had the fucking right to do that.”
“We didn’t think he was right for you. You had a whole new wonderful life ahead of you, yet all you wanted to do was sit at home and write letters and call him. You were missing out on everything.”
“None of that shit mattered to me. And to go behind my back…to allow me to think all these years that he forgot about me? How cruel a person do you have to be to do that to a stranger? But I’m your son.”
“Exactly,” she cried. “And that’s why we knew if you were free, you would shine. And you did. You soared. You can’t deny you were happy.”
“Happy?” I spit out the words like I’d tasted a piece of rotten fruit. “What do you know about happiness? You think it can be measured in dollar signs. But I can’t hold on to my bank account at night, and my trust fund won’t keep me company when I’m alone. You’ve manipulated me and forced me into being who you wanted me to be. And none of it worked. Roe is sitting next to me.”
About to disconnect the call, I brought my lips close to the screen. “Oh. And effective immediately, I quit. Good-bye.” I hit the button in the midst of my mother crying out my name, and threw the phone across the room. I heard it strike the wall and clatter to the ground. It rang and rang, but I made no move to answer it. It continued to buzz for a few minutes, then stopped.
I stared at the floor, seeing nothing. I’d thought I had it all. My parents had always been there, the bedrock to my life, and I knew I walked a golden path thanks to them. But this was the ultimate betrayal. A breach of trust so devastating, it left me breathless. Tremors shook me, and bile rose to my throat. I ran from the living room and made it to the bathroom before I threw up.
“Oh, God. How could they have done that to me?” I rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth. Roe waited outside the door, his dark brows pulled together.
“Are you okay?”
“No, are you kidding? I’m sick to my stomach. How could they have done that? They played with our lives.” I leaned against the wall. “I feel broken.” I reached out to touch his face. “And you. They hurt you so badly and ruined your life as well. Two lives ruined because of what? Their selfishness. I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Ezra. They didn’t ruin my life. We’re okay now.”
Roe pulled me to him, but I pushed him away. “No. No we’re not. I’ve never been happy. Any man I was with, I kept at arm’s distance. I figured they would leave me, so I left them first instead.”
Roe’s eyes searched mine. “Was there ever anyone? Did you ever fall in love?”
“No,” I whispered. “Never.”
Roe’s palms held my face. “I’m so sorry, Ezra. I wish this never happened.”
“Twenty-three years we missed out on. Years of friendship and laughter and maybe love. Can you ever forgive me? I’m sorry I didn’t fight hard enough, that I believed everything they said. I know it’s not enough, but can you try?”
