“Sounds good.”
“See you later?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.”
I watched him walk away, then took my seat and began to eat my salad, but a moment later Carmen reached over and pulled the fork out of my hand.
“Oh, no. If you think you’re going to sit here and chew your food like nothing just happened, I’m gonna…” She raised her eyes to the ceiling and lifted her hands up. “Ahhh. What is wrong with you? That man is funny, sweet, not to mentionsodamn fine to look at, he even pushes my buttons. What the hell is holding you back?”
I didn’t have an answer for her, and three hours later, standing in front of Ezra’s apartment, I still couldn’t put words to it. I hit the lighted doorbell and waited, hearing Ezra’s quick footsteps approach. He opened the door and smiled.
“Hey. Come on in.” He held the door wide, and I stepped inside. No longer in a suit, Ezra wore a black T-shirt that clung to his chest and gray sweats, and I tried not to get distracted by the sight of his bare feet or the faint outline of his dick in those soft pants. I didn’t know if I wanted to suck his tongue or swallow my own.
“Want a drink?” He held up a tumbler. “I’ve got vodka, but you can have anything you want. I’m fully stocked.”
“A beer is good, thanks.”
The apartment reminded me of Ezra: sleek, ultrachic, expensive. I pictured him hosting fancy dinner parties with expensive food for his beautiful, über-rich friends. A wall of glass overlooked the glittering lights of the city, and mesmerized, I found myself drawn to it.
“When I can’t sleep, I stare out these windows for hours. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m hoping to find answers.” He stood behind me, his breath on my neck.
“Do you?” I put my hand on the cold glass.
“It depends on the question I’m asking. Here’s your beer.”
I took it from him but stayed by the window while he retreated and sprawled on the wide sectional couch.
“Ross and Arden seem nice.”
“Ross is Ross. A character. And Arden is exactly who he needs to keep him under control.” He studied the inside of his glass. “Ross is also the best damn friend I could ever want. We lost touch for years after Dominic died because he couldn’t face his death. Arden brought him back to life, and Ross did the same for him. They need each other.” A deep line bisected his smooth brow, and his lips trembled, a poignant reminder of the loss Ezra carried inside him.
“Then they’re lucky.”
“They are, and they know it. Ross won’t take any job out of the country or that’ll take him away from Arden. They both understand how quickly time passes.” Deep in his memories, Ezra unconsciously thumbed Dominic’s thin gold band around and around his finger.
“Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that we were kids and couldn’t wait to jump feet-first into the world.”
“They were good times, weren’t they?” His gaze, steady and probing with an undeniable lick of fire, reached across and touched me.
“I didn’t use to think so, but yeah. We were innocent, unaware of the ugliness of the world. We hadn’t yet experienced loss.”
Ezra frowned. “I’m sorry about your father. I never had the chance to tell you.” A tentative smile curved his lips. “We haven’t sat down to simply talk to each other.”
I mirrored his smile. “I guess we were either fighting or—”
“Wanting to rip each other’s clothes off?” His eyes twinkled, and he patted the seat next to him. “If I promise to be good and keep my hands to myself, maybe we could use our mouths for talking.”
When I joined him on the couch, he folded himself to sit cross-legged, and I was reminded of his limber, taut body in that yoga class. A throb of lust hit me hard, and I shifted away from him. “That would be a good start.”
“Tell me about you. It must’ve been hard after your father passed away.”
I bent my head. “It devastated my mother. She aged ten years overnight. But she thinks she needs to be strong for me, even though I’m an adult. I was the one who suggested she move in with my grandmother. It gave me the freedom I needed, and they could look after each other.”
“I dare you to tell Nettie she needs ‘looking after.’” Ezra smiled over the rim of his glass.
“Not me. But you get it. I love them to death but found myself torn between my studies and wanting to help them. I’d finish classes and come home, trying to take my father’s place. I helped with the shopping, paid their bills, and whatever else they needed. Any sort of social life took third place. Plus…” I weighed my word choice but decided we’d come too far to hold back. “I still thought about you. I couldn’t forget.”
“I didn’t forget you either. I know you think I did, but in reality, I threw myself into the dating scene not because I wanted to, but because I thought you’d given up on me. Without having anusto look forward to, I didn’t care about me.” He sipped his drink. “Plus, I let my parents have full reign over my life, taking whatever jobs they sent me to.” With his lips pursed and a shake of his head, as if disgusted, Ezra tipped his glass to me. “Tell me about the first man you were with after I left.”
