“People break up all the time, Roe. I’m sure we can come up with a good excuse. But it can go on for as long as we want it to.” When my lips touched his neck, a full-body shudder rolled through him. God, that was so damn sexy. Feeling him tremble against me only made me want to see him naked and alive with passion.
“Ezra, don’t.”
“I can wait. I’ll wait as long as it takes to hear you say, ‘Yes, Ezra. Do it.’” Another, more subtle tremor shook him, and then with one final kiss to his neck, I left him standing there and returned to the opposite side of the kitchen island. “Now let’s go have dinner with your mother and grandmother. That’s what Nettie wants, and she’s who we’re doing this for.”
But as I walked with Monroe down the hallway and took his hand in mine, I couldn’t be so certain.
Chapter Sixteen
With my mother and Grace, I waited anxiously for the doctor to finish examining my grandmother. Each day since her stroke she seemed to be getting stronger, and that morning before we left for her appointment, she even walked about the apartment without her walker, albeit slowly, Grace hovering protectively at her side.
“Mrs. Friedman, you are a marvel.” Dr. Robinson removed the ends of the stethoscope from her ears. “I can only hope I’ll have your stamina and constitution when I’m your age.”
“You will.” Grandma smiled up at her. “Good people deserve the best.”
“So she’s doing better?” my mother asked. I held her hand. The shadows under her eyes had darkened since my grandmother’s stroke, and I could see she’d grown even thinner. This had taken a toll on her as well, and it hurt me to see her worrying. Much as I disliked Ezra throwing his money at us, having someone in the apartment to help her with the cleaning, cooking, and errands had been a godsend. And shitty person that I was, I hadn’t even done him the courtesy of telling him so.
“Yes. Remarkably so. Her heart is strong, her pressure normal, as are her reactions to questions asked and stimuli.” Dr. Robinson jotted notes in the chart as she spoke.
“And her memory?” While she now remembered my father had died, she still held on to the belief that Ezra and I were in high school and together. And every day Ezra and I continued the farce, my guilt grew exponentially. Was it wrong to feed her belief? Should I be telling her the truth and hope it wouldn’t explode in my face? Could we risk the fallout?
“Unfortunately,” Dr. Robinson replied, “that’s the one thing we can’t guarantee. But keep on doing what you’re doing, and I’m confident she can regain most brain function from before. Hopefully all of it.”
“I’m fine. I know everything was fuzzy before, but it looks clear to me now.”
I bit my lip. This conversation wasn’t one I planned on having in the doctor’s office, but I couldn’t hold off. “So you know how old I am?”
She blinked several times. “Of course I do. You’re seventeen. You’re graduating high school soon, and then you want to be a psychologist and help people.”
A tight fist closed around my chest. My mother put her hand on my shoulder, but I could barely feel it.
Dr. Robinson pulled up a chair and sat next to my grandmother. “Mrs. Friedman, you see Monroe looks older than seventeen, am I correct?”
She lowered her eyes and gazed at her hands. “I do, but it’s like a blank when I try to remember. All I know is I see him with his boyfriend…what’s his name again?”
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Ezra, Grandma,” I whispered, and that fist tightened further, until it hurt to breathe.
Her face brightened. “Yes, that’s right. And they’re both sad because Ezra’s moving away. I know they love each other.”
Maybe I should’ve waited, but I thought it would be better to begin and smooth the way for my grandmother’s return to the present. “You know that Ezra and I aren’t really together.”
“What?” For a small woman, her shriek reverberated against the walls of the examination room. To my dismay, her eyes grew wide, and she paled. “No! What happened? Why? He loves you, and I know you love him.”
“Mrs. Friedman, please don’t get upset. That’s the worst thing for you.” Dr. Robinson tried to soothe her while Grace took her hand.
“Mrs. Friedman, you have to remain calm. You’re going to get sick again.”
“Not get upset? When I see my grandson making a mistake, the biggest of his life, of course I’m going to get upset.” She struggled to get off the examination table, growing red in the face. Alarmed, I rushed to her side.
“Grandma, please. It’ll be okay.”
“No, it won’t. It’ll be okay when you tell me you’re together. Why would you break up with him? Look me in the face and tell me you don’t love him.”
“We…I don’t…” I wanted to say the words, but when tears welled in her eyes, I couldn’t. In the tense silence, I wasn’t so sure if I was fooling her with the lie or myself.
“See? I knew it. Everyone can see it. Why can’t you?”
“It’s complicated.”
