The fight drained out of me, and all I wanted was to get away from Presley’s lying face. “I don’t care anymore. Please leave.”
“Nate…” Wide-eyed and shaking, Presley took a few steps toward me, but I raised my hands and backed away.
“No. Don’t come near me.”
“Please. We can talk about this. I know I was wrong. I never would’ve been with him in the first place if I knew he was married.”
“But you knew the second time, and you went. So don’t try and weasel your way out of it.”
“Nate…I love you.” His voice broke, and a sharp pain pierced my chest. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”
“You should be saying sorry to your lover’s husband.”
“I did. I-I spoke with him.”
“The fucking hell you did.” My jaw dropped. “You had the nerve to talk to that poor man?”
He had the grace to flush with embarrassment. “It was before you and I met. I wanted to tell him I was sorry. And that I knew Jared never really loved me. He was going to try and make it work.”
My head spun. “You…you went to your dead lover’s husband after all these years? What if he didn’t know? What right did you have to spring it on him?” I shook my head in utter disbelief. “You are so fucking selfish. And here I thought I loved you. I thought you were sweet and vulnerable. So good. So innocent. Now I see I don’t even know who you are.”
“I never said I was,” he cried. “And I took that chance to talk to Arden. Turns out he did know. Of course with hindsight I can see what a goddamned idiot I was. But I didn’t think at all.” Pain lashed through Presley’s face, and it hurt not to take him in my arms and tell him it would be okay. My heart hardened. None of this would’ve happened if Presley hadn’t gone back to his lover the second time, when he knew he was married. He wasn’t innocent. When Presley let his lover return to his bed, he knew exactly what he was doing.
“If you didn’t think there was a problem sleeping with Jared after knowing he had a husband, then there’s nothing to stop you from cheating on me.”
“What? No.” Presley’s hands clenched into fists. “I wouldn’t ever. It’s not the same. I see that now. What I had with Jared wasn’t love. Not like what we have.”
“What do we have? Lies? Pretense?” I paced the room, wondering how I would ever be able to sleep in that bed again. “I told you how I felt about cheating, and you deliberately kept it from me because you knew…youknewI’d have this reaction. You lied by hiding the truth. I should’ve known when you made up that ridiculous story about being in mourning for a dead best friend for six years. What else are you lying about—that friend of yours, Frisco? Is he one of your lovers too?”
Eyes wide with shock, Presley sputtered, “No, of course not. I’m not lying to you about that or anything else.”
“Well, liars always say that, don’t they?” I folded my arms and glared at him. Oddly enough, I felt strangely detached, as if I were watching this debacle called my life from the sidelines. Later, I’d probably get very drunk, but for now, I continued to give Presley the cold stare.
“I don’t want to see you anymore.” I turned my back on him. “Please go.”
“Nate. No.”
A buzzing sounded in my head.
“Please. We can talk about it.”
“Leave.”
“But, Na—”
“I said get the fuck out. Get out.Get out.” My throat hurt from screaming.
I heard his footsteps on the stairs, and a few moments later the front door opened and then slammed shut. Trying to keep as calm as I could, I returned to my seat and picked up my cup to finish my coffee, but it had turned cold. I threw it against the wall and watched the dark-brown liquid stream down the raw silk wall covering, forming a brown puddle on the floor. It felt so good, I picked up Presley’s mostly untouched cup and threw that as well, gaining tremendous satisfaction from the sound of breaking china. Amazed at my calm state, I finished getting dressed and left for work.
* * *
Two weeks had gone by, and I hadn’t slept through the night since I sent Presley away.
“You’re a bigger idiot than I thought,” Ethan said, watching me from the opposite side of the conference table.
“Shut up and leave me alone.” I held a hot cup of coffee between my hands, but neither that, nor the overheated office, could warm me. I remained chilled to the bone and raw to the touch.
“Why, so you can turn back into the miserable SOB you were for the three years before you met Presley?”
