Over the past month, he’d dreamed of his foster father touching him. And nothing would banish those nightmares other than Drew being there with him. Waking up to find Drew peacefully asleep settled the raging storm inside Ash and he’d reach for him, knowing Drew would offer him comfort with his kisses and his body.
“Yeah, but you helped.” His lips curved in a grin. “You always know how to help me.”
This time Drew didn’t laugh along with him. “You know, using sex to forget about nightmares is just as bad when we’re married as when you were single. I think you should talk to your therapist.”
Ash slumped against the wall. “I know. It’s been years since I had them. I don’t understand why this is happening. I’m happy now. Why can’t it leave me alone?”
“I don’t know.” Drew held him close. “I don’t want you slipping back to where you were. I’m afraid.”
Ash knew what he meant. “Never. I’ll never hurt myself again. That’s a promise I’ll never break to you.” He kissed the top of Drew’s head.
“That’s a promise you need to keep for yourself and no one else.”
Like a festering sore, the thought nagged at him—everything seemed perfect, but it couldn’t last. Not for him. He didn’t deserve it. All along, ever since he’d fallen in love with Drew, Ash lived under the threat of a hammer waiting to fall. Life was too good and he was too happy. He squeezed his eyes shut.
With one final hug, Ash let Drew go and slipped on his suit jacket.
“What’s on tap for you today?”
“I have a board meeting and then Jordan, Mike, and I are going to go through the books and do our yearly review of the clinic. Because of Stevie, we’ve gotten interest from volunteers as well as people looking for work. It’s great that he’s brought in lots of people from the neighborhood. I want to keep the staff as connected to the area as possible. Oh, and I have my yearly physical.” He made a face. “Maybe I’ll put that off until next month.”
“Why? You’re a doctor; you know how important it is.”
“Yeah, but I feel fine.”
Ash pinched his ass. “And you feel fine to me too, baby. Just get it out of the way.” Glancing at his reflection in the large gilt-framed mirror hanging in the hallway near the front door, Ash straightened his tie and brushed back his hair. “It’s a quick poke and a squeeze of your balls. But don’t worry. No one handles mine better than you.”
“Ha ha,” Drew said. “Aside from the fact that your doctor is about seventy-five, you’re a comedian. I promise I will.”
“That’s my guy. I have court today to file some paperwork for Benny to get custody of his half sister and then a few new clients. I’ll call you later, though. Tell me how the physical goes. Tell Eric I’m happy to help get you in shape, even though I think you’re perfect as is.”
“Love you too.” Drew gave him a kiss and a smile and left. Ash spotted the cat walking down the hallway, meowing loudly, yellow eyes wide. Against his better judgment, Ash picked him up, cat hair be damned, and held on to his protesting body.
“You know, we aren’t so different. Neither of us were wanted—we were throwaways. Both of us got lucky that Drew took us in.”
As if listening, Domino stopped squirming. “If Drew loves you, then I promise to love you too. What do you say, kitty?”
With a growl, Domino raked his claws across Ash’s palm.
“Ouch, damn you.”
He dropped the cat who stretched himself out and, uncaring of Ash’s bleeding hand, began to wash himself.
“Fucker. Last time I try to be nice.”
Ash wiped at the scratches with a tissue and slammed the door shut on the cat’s baleful gaze.
Chapter Two
“Morning, Carla. How’severything?” Drew stopped by the reception desk and greeted the young woman seated there. She was a relatively new hire and still a bit nervous, so he made sure to talk to her a little each day to reassure her.
“I’m good, thank you.” She flashed him a smile, slightly less fearful than when she first started. Carla had escaped from an abusive relationship in Texas and made her way to New York. She’d been living in a shelter when she met Marly at the local library. When Marly heard her story and that she had secretarial skills, she brought her to meet Drew and asked him to hire her.
“Glad to hear. Finding everything okay?”
“Oh, yes. Marly’s the best. She’s been teaching me the phone and filing systems you and the other doctors use.”
He glanced up at the open door to Marly’s office and waved at her when he caught her eye. She’d come a long way from the scared and abused teenager who volunteered when the clinic opened. Marly had graduated college, was promoted to office manager, and now had her own apartment. She’d even been dating a man steadily whom she’d introduced to everyone.
