“You’re right.” Wild-eyed a moment ago, Jordan took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “You’ll need treatment, but you’ll be okay. Just make sure you have your exams regularly from now on.”
“I will. So I’m going to have surgery and probably be out for at least two weeks. I’ll know more after I check with the urologist tomorrow.”
“Okay. We’ll all chip in and cover…wait. You haven’t told them yet, have you?”
Here came the hard part.
“No. Only you and Ash know. I want to wait until afterward to tell everyone else.”
“You haven’t even told Esther?” Jordan glared at him. “You’d better come up with a good reason not to.”
“Because she’s ninety-five, and I want to keep her around for many more years. I don’t need her worrying about me and having a stroke from the stress. You remember what happened when those kids came by and gave her trouble when the clinic first started. Her heart isn’t stable.”
“How do you think you can hide this from her? Esther isn’t stupid.”
“Iwilltell her. Just not now. After the surgery, when it’s all over.”
“That’s a risk.” Jordan shook his head. “Esther and Rachel?”
Why couldn’t they understand?
“Look, I’m under a lot of pressure already from Ash to tell them. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“First time I have to say I agree one hundred percent with Ash.”
“Jordy, please.” His voice caught. “I need your support right now.”
Jordan placed his hands on Drew’s shoulders, giving him a squeeze of reassurance. “Sorry, Drew. You know I’ll stand behind you, no matter what. Just think about telling everyone. More people to give you that support.”
“I will.WhenI’m ready. I think I’m going to go out and do a little holiday shopping. Might as well beat the rush.” What he wanted was some time by himself, and he knew exactly where to go to find peace.
“I’m here if you need to talk.”
Jordan pulled Drew close for a hug. He forced a smile and pulled away. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He called for a car, and the drive from Red Hook to Carroll Gardens took no time. He’d never been a religious person, but Drew had a sudden urge for the hushed quiet of a synagogue. The car drew up in front of a beautiful old building on Kane Street, and he climbed out of the car and gazed up at the stained-glass windows.
He walked to the office, uncertain if he could simply sit inside the sanctuary. An older woman with improbable red hair and a sweet smile greeted him.
“May I help you?”
Drew stared at her a moment. “I’m not sure. I-I wanted to know if it would be okay to go to the sanctuary. I’m not a member,” he added hastily. “But I’m happy to make a donation. I just need to be alone for a while.”
“Of course. And if you’d like to speak to someone, the rabbi is in the office, and I know he’d be happy to talk to you.”
“Maybe. Is it okay if I go now?”
“Of course, dear.”
He walked away and entered the sanctuary. Thebimahad a plush blue velvet drape and two candlesticks on top, and the matching blue velvet curtain against the wall opposite, behind which, Drew remembered from his Hebrew school days, resided the Torah scrolls.
He sat in the last row, bowed his head, and closed his eyes.
Please. Please let it be okay. I don’t want to say “Why me?” because it isn’t fair to wish this on anyone else. But I’d like more time with Ash. I want to see my nephew grow up. And I want to spend as much time with Esther as possible. Don’t hurt her anymore.
He sensed someone had entered and opened his eyes. A tall man, about his age, with a slight beard, smiled at him.
“Hello. I’m Rabbi Fine. Would you like to talk?”
