He nodded, and I reached over to the nightstand to grab my stuff. I squirted some lube on my finger and slid it inside him. “You’re still so tight, so it might hurt.” I sank it slowly to the hilt, loving how his inner wall clutched me tight, holding me in a velvety-soft vise. I watched his tense expression dissolve into wonder and desire, and all I wanted to do was please this man for the rest of my life.
“So beautiful and hot. Look at you. Hard or soft, no matter how I touch you, you’re right on the edge.” I wiggled my finger and added another, slowly pumping Harlan until he writhed, working himself on my hand.
“Come on.” Sweat glistened on his face, and Harlan’s eyes bore into mine. “Do it already.”
I curled my fingers, and hearing him curse me under his breath, I laughed. “I could do this all night. Keep you crazy for it.” I withdrew my fingers halfway, then plunged them deep, forcing another groan from Harlan’s lips.
“I might have to kill you.”
Keeping my fingers still for a moment, I leaned over and kissed him. “No, you won’t. “’Cause ain’t no one ever gonna love you like me.”
He sighed into my mouth, and our tongues played lightly together. I kissed and nipped down his chest, little bites and sucks of flesh that left reddened marks over his pale skin. I circled the tip of his cock with my tongue and sucked it in.
“Yeah,” he panted. “I’m gonna have to kill you.” He thrust his hips up in an attempt to push his cock into my mouth.
“Greedy boy.” I gave him what he wanted for a moment, sinking down on him, my lips sliding down his length as the taste of him filled my mouth. He trembled beneath me, and when I sensed he was close, I backed off again, earning me another slew of curses.
“Goddammit.” Harlan flailed. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” I resumed my finger-play, scraping along his passage with my fingertips, giving him the right amount of pleasure-pain. “You love me.”
Harlan lay panting and shaking, his face serious and pale. “Yeah. I do. I really do.”
I withdrew my fingers, rolled on a condom, and slid into his slick hole all the way, filling him. I held him under the shoulders, bringing his face close to mine. “I really do too. Really love you.” I rolled my hips, flexing and thrusting deep, keeping up the pace. My headboard slammed so hard against the wall, I was surprised it didn’t break apart. As it was, I hoped my neighbors had a good time listening through the wall to our grunts and moans.
Harlan clutched my shoulders and locked his legs around my waist. “Stay with me. Don’t leave,” he whispered. A sticky wetness spread between us as he came on a keening cry, his arms wrapped around me as if he was drowning.
“Never,” I said, holding him tight. “Never.”
The heat and tension of Harlan’s muscles sheathing my erection like a steel glove lined in suede sent me spinning over that cliff of no return, and I flew further than I believed possible. I shook, gasping for air, my blood burning a path through my veins. I collapsed on Harlan, my face buried in his neck, our bodies completely merged. An unbreakable bond. I was locked in so deep, I knew a part of me would stay forever. I’d finally found a man who needed me as much as I needed him.
Chapter Eighteen
HARLAN
There was nosound when I opened my eyes. It was pitch-black as well, and a glance at the luminous dial of the small clock on the nightstand showed 3:30 a.m. Truly, an ungodly hour, but one I was brutally familiar with. When you were homeless, you always slept with one eye open.
A naked body rolled close, and I smiled to myself. No more shelters. No more finding a bench to sleep on only to wake up in the pouring rain, or sleeping in Penn Station to keep warm.
“Why’re you up?” With his eyes closed and his prickly cheek pressed to the pillow, Cort smiled. “I’da thought you’d be worn out.” He brushed his foot down my calf, sending a tingle of sparks through me. “Anything wrong?”
I flopped on my back to stare up at the ceiling. “No…yes…I don’t know; it’s hard to explain.”
His hand took mine. “I got all the time in the world.”
“Before all this happened to me, I knew what my future held—law school, family firm, get married, have kids.”
“Sounds like what my family had planned for me.” Still holding my hand, Cort sat up against the headboard. “Still do, ’cause they won’t believe or admit I’m gay.”
“I can’t even imagine telling my family. Or anyone.”
I must’ve said something wrong, as Cort dropped my hand and switched on the bedside lamp.
“Hey. Warn a guy first.” My eyes burned from the light, and I had to blink several times before I could see his face. The soft smile had disappeared, and his brows were drawn together. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”
He answered my question with one of his own. “So you don’t see yourself being out? You’re gonna stay in the closet? ’Cause after that kiss you gave me yesterday afternoon at the bookstore, it didn’t seem so, but now you’re confusing me.”
A growing sense of anxiety sent my heart into a panicked overdrive. “I’ll, uh, be right back.” I practically ran to the bathroom, shut the door, and leaned against it. The sound of my unsteady breathing filled the air, and I touched my lips. I’d forgotten about that kiss, but now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About him. Today should’ve been a watershed moment between us, and instead, here I stood in the bathroom, like a frightened, exiled puppy.
