“That ain’t nice, James. Harlan’s trying.”
“This isn’t about being nice. Nice doesn’t help him get through the day not wanting a drink. Nice doesn’t make him a better person and teach him how to change his ways.”
I heard Cort’s rumble of displeasure and put up a hand. “I can speak for myself. James is right. I never responded to nice. In fact, James and I talked about it when I was in rehab. He helped push me to see how my actions hurt the people I cared about.”
“I know I was hard on you.”
I allowed myself a smile. “I would never expect you to be sweet. Or want it. I needed to have the truth shoved in my face.” My attempt at humor vanished. “In rehab they forced me to pick myself apart. Every day was a new discovery of why I allowed myself to become this miserable, wretched person.”
“And did you figure it out?”
Every question from James seemed loaded, as if he already knew the answer, but he couldn’t, so I wondered if it was because he and I were more similar than I imagined.
“Not yet, but I’m working on it. My therapy doesn’t end because the thirty days did. They’ve set me up with a doctor and therapist here in the city. I have to check in with him tomorrow.”
“Good. What about a job? You do remember I said you shouldn’t work here?”
“I did come here with a few things I planned to say to you. So, if you’re finished?” James nodded, so I continued. “I want to apologize to you. While I never stole any alcohol from you while I was working, I did drink on the job.”
“Oh?” He raised a brow. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”
“It was how I knew I was out of control—the beginning of the end, so to speak. Anytime I helped José at the bar and there were bottles with beer left in them, I’d go in the back and finish them off. That last night it was ten or twelve bottles. I lost count. And if people left their mixed drinks, I finished those too. By the end I was flying high.”
“I see.”
“So I need to apologize for betraying your trust in me. I abused that trust, and for that I’m sorry. I’m a different person now, but I know you won’t believe me until I prove it to you.”
“If I’m interested, that is, in having you do so.”
Well, damn.He wasn’t cutting me any slack. I tipped my head in acknowledgment but said nothing and waited.
“I’m not interested in having you prove yourself to me. You owe me nothing. I’m a stranger. The only person you need to prove yourself to…is you.” His eyes narrowed. “And Cort. From the beginning, he’s been the only person who saw something in you when no one else did. I’m still not sure what or why, but again, he doesn’t owe me an explanation. People don’t have to justify why or what attracts them to another.”
“Understood. And I’m not looking to try and get back into Man Up.”
“Harlan’s got himself a job at the bookstore,” Cort interjected.
A glimmer of a smile crossed James’s face. “Somehow I had a feeling that would be where you’d end up.”
My face heated.
“Stop teasing. Race is goin’ in for his operation, and I can’t run the store by myself.”
“Harlan to the rescue, then.”
I was as far from a white knight as could be. “I did enjoy working there today. And for now, it’s the perfect solution.”
Later that eveningas we were cleaning up from our Chinese takeout, Cort prodded me. “You still never answered me. What’d you mean when you said to James ‘for now’ the bookstore was a perfect solution?”
The tension of the first day back was beginning to catch up with me, and I yawned, flopping down on the sofa with a bottle of water. Cort joined me.
“Exactly that. I can’t think beyond a day or so. One day at a time, we were taught to take it in rehab. So that’s what I’m doing.”
“Understood.” Cort rubbed my foot with his. “Tired? You must be exhausted after today. If you wanna hit the hay early, I got some stuff to take care of, so I can get outta your way.”
Now was as good a time as ever to tell him. “Oh, your webcam work?”
A bright-red stain crept up his cheeks, and I thought how sweet that a man who flashed his naked butt in a club and his dick on camera could pretend innocence. If it was anyone else but Cort, I’d laugh, but I knew he wasn’t faking.
