My chest hurt, and I thought of Harlan trying to come to grips with who he was, with losing everything, but working so hard to come back from the edge, not knowing what the future would bring. Of Aaron, who loved Frankie so much, he changed his whole life, but not before he almost ruined himself. Of Austin, who, like me, left home, but grew hard and bitter until Rhoades showed him the way back to love and peace. For years they’d looked up at the night sky but couldn’t see the stars shining behind the mist.
“They’re not weird. They’re my friends. They understand me and who I am.”
“Then stay there. There ain’t no place for you back here. It’s what we told you when you left. Until you can straighten out and be right, you stay where you are. You don’t need to bother to even call unless you got something new to tell us.”
“Mama?” I didn’t know if she was still on the phone, but I had to hear it from her lips as well. “Do you feel like that too?”
“I—”
“Sure she does. We gotta go now.”
And he hung up the phone and they were gone. Was she going to say she agreed with him? Or, knowing she might be more willing to listen to me, had my father made a preemptive strike and taken away her chance to speak to me directly? I wished she had a cell phone so I could text her privately, but my father didn’t believe she needed one.
What a joke it was for me to be lecturing Harlan, when I couldn’t even straighten out my own life. I didn’t deserve a man like him, someone brave enough to face his struggles and work to overcome them. I took the easy way out and ran away.
Sitting here wasn’t gonna get the baby washed, as my mama would say. I hustled out of bed and into the bathroom to get ready to go to the bookstore. I didn’t mind all the extra work. The money from my webcam shows was piling up, but I didn’t touch it. It was my safety net for when I decided to leave Man Up. My only expenses were food, rent, and utilities, and now that Frankie’s marketing plan funneled the people from Sparks to Man Up, my tips had increased dramatically. My bank account was healthier than ever.
My heart, however, was as empty as a river in the middle of a drought.
Forty-five minutes later, I walked into the bookstore to a grim-faced Race.
“What’s wrong?” I poured a cup of coffee from the pot. “You’re not lookin’ too good.”
“I don’t feel too well. My back is worse than ever. I have an appointment with my doctor today and wondered if you would mind watching the store while I go.”
I’d never done it alone, but I couldn’t let Race down. “’Course. I’m happy to help. I’ll hold down the fort. You go do what you need to do to get better.”
“Thanks.” Race walked gingerly out the door and hailed a cab. I watched him slide carefully into the back seat and depart.
Three hours later, Race returned, and I hurried over to help him walk back behind the desk. That was how I knew there was a problem. Race didn’t like anyone helping him.
“What’d the doctor say?”
He took a sip of the coffee I poured him, and I watched his hands shake. “I need back surgery. And even then, they aren’t sure it’ll work and stop the pain. As it is, I can’t sit or stand without being in constant agony.”
“Damn, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”
He sat silent for a moment, sipping his coffee, then peered at me over his wire-rimmed glasses. “As a matter of fact, yes. I hate to ask, but would it be possible for you to work here full-time every day? I know your dancing comes first…”
“Friendship comes first. Of course I’ll help you. Funny enough, I was gonna ask you something, and now’s the time, I think.”
“Oh?” He grunted and resettled himself back into the chair. “Shoot.”
“Well, Harlan is coming back next week. His thirty days in rehab are over, and he’s gonna need a job.”
Race’s brow puckered. “I thought he worked with you at your dance club. Did he get fired?”
“No, nothin’ like that. Just that James doesn’t think he should be working around all that alcohol, and I kinda agree with him.”
“So you want him to come work here.”
I put on my hopeful look. “I was kinda thinkin’…yeah.”
Race sighed and winced in pain as he tried to find a comfortable place in his chair.
“Would a pillow help?”
“No, not really, but thanks for asking. I thought about Harlan working here, don’t kid yourself. It all comes down to whether or not he can be trusted. A good portion of my business is cash.” He gave me a pointed look. “I don’t want to hire him and then have him steal the contents of the day’s drawer. Know what I’m saying?”
