“And you’re where? On the east side of the bridge? He’s okay, though?”It’s Harlan, he mouthed. My heart began to pound. “Someone will be there in less than half an hour. Please try and keep him there. And thank you.” He disconnected.
“What? What’s wrong? Is he okay?” All my earlier anger vanished. I knew something had happened to him.
“I’m not sure. This person said she saw him standing on the Brooklyn Bridge and he looked distraught, so she’s been talking to him for a while. Harlan finally gave her my card, which has my cell phone on it.”
“I’m gonna go.” It wasn’t a question, and James nodded.
“Okay. I’ll call you a car.”
“Don’t bother. I have one waiting outside. Come.” Mal took me by the arm. “I’ll tell him to take you wherever you need to go and wait until you’re ready to leave.”
“Uh…” I looked at James, who seemed as taken aback as me.
“Go ahead. This world still has the ability to surprise me. But get Hector to give you a coat. I’m not sure you want to run out in your costume.”
“Yeah, okay.” I couldn’t manage a smile at his attempt to lighten the mood with humor. Not when Harlan was out there, so desperate that he was on a bridge.
“Come on.” Mal pulled me with him, and we raced to the front, where, after quickly explaining the situation to Hector, he handed me a trench coat. I threw it on and saw Mal leaning into one of the many black cars parked by the curb. He waved me over and held the door open for me as I slid inside.
“Go ahead. Larry will take you wherever you need to go. Good luck.”
“Thank you.”
I held his gaze for a moment, and then we took off into the night. The car sped down the West Side highway, but I barely paid attention. Would he still be there? Why didn’t he talk to me? What could be so bad that he was on a bridge at night?
Before I realized it, we’d reached the end of Chambers Street, and Larry stopped the car at the foot of the walkway onto the bridge.
“I’ll wait for you on Park Row.”
“Thanks, man.”
“S’all right.”
I raced out of the car, up the cement path, amazed that there were still people walking across the span at this time. I zeroed in on two figures, one sitting, the other standing at the edge of the path, and I pushed myself to run faster.
“Harlan.” I stumbled to a stop before him.
He raised his gaze to meet mine, and my heart squeezed so tight, I could barely breathe.
“Why’d you come, Cort?”
His voice, so cold and defeated, sent a shiver down my spine.
“How could I not?”
Chapter Ten
HARLAN
Itossed theempty fifth of vodka into the wastebasket on the corner of West 4th and Sixth Avenue. “Such a good boy. You don’t even litter when you’re drunk.” I proceeded to wander through the Village, still unsatisfied. A quick score from some preppy NYU students in Washington Square Park gave me the hit of coke I needed to send me flying. The world blurred at the edges, and the pain of that newspaper photo of my happy, dancing parents dulled to a throbbing ache.
“They really don’t give a shit if I’m dead or alive,” I muttered out loud as I wandered downtown. People gave me a wide berth, as if I was another mumbling, stumbling, crazy New Yorker. Which, come to think of it, I was. I bought a can of some random beer from a bodega and kept walking, talking, and drinking.
“Fuck them. Fuck everyone.” The evening lights glowed with an otherworldly, incandescent fire and pulsed with each breath I took. Every step felt like lead, but I pushed on. I broke out in goose bumps, and I could feel my blood running like ice through my veins. I wanted to walk out of my body and shed my life, leaving it behind like a discarded snakeskin.
I thought the past few days with Cort would’ve helped me, but all it did was prove what a failure I was and how I still had the capacity to hurt people who didn’t deserve it. I should’ve never allowed myself to get so close to him. I could still taste him, and feel his heavy weight on me, and goddammit, I had no right to want him. No right at all.
“Watch out.” A man in a suit and tie and carrying a briefcase bumped into my shoulder, and I staggered. “Goddamn city. Fucking homeless everywhere,” he snarled at me over his shoulder.
