Suspicious, Cort downed the rest of his beer and opened another. I hadn’t seen Cort drink much before. My buzz was still going strong, and I grabbed a bottle of water, hoping to stave off a hangover. My head still felt the effects from the vodka earlier in the day.
“Ready to go home?” He stood and finished his beer.
At least I had a place to go to for tonight.
We took the train home. My head spun a bit from the squealing of the train, and I swayed and lost my footing. Cort set his hand on my waist for a second to steady me.
“Thanks.”
“Welcome.”
He took his hand away, and I wanted it back. I wanted…something. I couldn’t go on like this much longer, or I’d fall apart. Tonight, seeing Oren among family and friends spotlighted my own isolation and loneliness.
We got to the apartment, and Cort went to the bathroom. I heard him flush the toilet, brush his teeth, and then come out in nothing but his boxers.
“I’m going to watch some TV. I’m not that tired.”
“Good night.” He shut his bedroom door.
That should’ve told me where I stood. He was angry with me and rightfully so. He’d touched me, given me incredible pleasure, and I treated him like nothing. Like he was there to service me.
I went to the bathroom, stripped out of my clothes, and took a shower, letting the water pour over me as if in absolution for all my sins. I toweled myself off and walked out naked, knowing exactly what I was doing when I stood before his door and opened it.
I entered Cort’s room, and he rolled over in bed to face me. He wasn’t asleep.
“Harlan?”
“Yes.”
“What the hell’s goin’ on? Don’t play games with me. I ain’t in the mood.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life.” I climbed onto his bed and sat back on my heels. Cort looked big and dark against the white, plain sheets. “Tell me to leave and I will.”
“I don’t…what? What do you want?”
Cort’s gaze was rightfully suspicious. I wouldn’t trust me either.
“This afternoon…” I choked on my words. I’d always been the strong one, yet here I sat, trembling like a fool.
“I’m sorry. I knew it was botherin’ you all night, and I gotta apologize.”
“Don’t.”
Cort’s eyes widened. “But I made you—”
“Stop.” I found my voice again. “No one’s ever made me do anything I didn’t want to do. If I didn’t want your hand on my dick, I would’ve never let you touch me. I certainly wouldn’t be here naked in your bed. Asking for more.”
“More?” He eyed my half-hard cock. “What’re you tryin’ to say?”
“Whatever it is, doesn’t seem to be working. But I was always better at show than tell.” I pulled back the sheets to see a hefty bulge in Cort’s boxers.
“You really want this?”
Without answering him, I brushed my fingertips over his stomach, feeling the jump and heat of his erection. My own cock stiffened, and that wild hunger rushed through me. My heart pounded, and sweat broke out over my freshly washed skin.
Sitting in the inky darkness with the silvery moonlight gilding our bodies, I teetered on the brink of something momentous but couldn’t think clearly. “Even I have no idea what I really want.”
“Then, what? What are you doing here?”
