“I-I’m sorry. I don’t remember. I didn’t hit you, did I?” Horror dropped his voice to a whisper.
“Don’t you remember the trial? Didn’t you listen to my testimony?”
A painful grimace twisted his lips. “I think I was so stunned and scared, I didn’t take in anything anyone said. It was like a whole buncha white noise passing over my head as I sat there at the defendant’s table.”
Stronger than I’d ever been, I felt the time had come to lay it all out with Aaron. “The moment I walked in, you started in on me. How you knew I was sucking some other guy off instead of being home sucking your dick. You tried to grab me, but I ran away from you. You stank of beer, and when I saw all the cans piled up I knew you were wasted.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Devastation turned him ashen.
“But you came after me, yelling and screaming how I smelled like some other guy had been fucking me, and I better not be cheating on you. I knew it was better to leave you alone and let you sleep it off, but seeing me walk out made you crazier.”
“All I remember is grabbing you by the arm, telling you to stay.”
“You threatened to leave me for good if I walked out. I told you to leave, to be gone by the time I got back, and then I ran out the door. You came after me yelling, and I got scared and ran faster, and that’s when I tripped and fell down the stairs. I broke my collarbone, two ribs, sprained my ankle, and knocked out two teeth.”
“Oh, God. Frankie.” His head hung low, and seeing his shaking shoulders, I let him release whatever grief he’d been holding inside. “I keep saying I’m sorry, and I know it don’t mean nothing to you, but I don’t know what else to say. What can I do to make it up to you?” He raised his tearstained face.
There was little joy in any of this, but Dr. Morrell had said if we were going to have a future, we needed to put the past to rest. And I didn’t know any other way but ripping the bandage off the half-healed wound. “Talk to me. We’ve been together for so long, but I don’t know you.”
Staring at Aaron’s agonized face, for a moment I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear everything.
