Giving Jeremy his most winning smile, Blake could still see the remnants of doubt clouding Jeremy’s eyes. That doubt remained there the rest of the evening, and even when they were getting undressed for bed, Jeremy brought the subject matter up again.
“Want to tell me what’s really going on?” Jeremy sat on the bed in only his boxers, watching him hang up his suit in the closet. They weren’t officially living together, but they might as well have been. He spent every night with Jeremy and couldn’t imagine sleeping without him now. “Something’s bothering you. I can tell.”
Placing a smile on his lips Blake hoped didn’t look too forced, he shut the closet door, then tossed his shirt with the others waiting to be taken to the cleaners before walking over to Jeremy. He placed his hands on Jeremy’s shoulders and massaged them.
“It’s nothing. I promise.” He bent over and kissed Jeremy’s lips, willing his body to respond. Desperate to feel again, Blake sat on Jeremy’s lap, straddling his hips. “All I want is to be with you.” For a second his heart leaped at the stirring in his boxers, and he attacked Jeremy’s mouth again, sucking his tongue in a frantic effort to regain that spark of arousal.
“Mmm. Well, all right. Bring it on, baby.” Jeremy wrapped those strong arms around him, and Blake could’ve cried as he remained soft, as if he wasn’t in the arms of the man he cared most about in the world. What was wrong with him? Jeremy’s cock poked into his stomach, and Blake should’ve been aching, hard, and ready. He should have been ready to explode from want. His hand crept down only to feel himself discouragingly soft. How could that be possible? Everything he wanted was in his arms—a loving man whose one desire was pleasuring him.
“Let me suck you, baby. It’s been too long since I tasted you.” Jeremy pushed him down on the bed, and Blake, ashamed and fearful of discovery, lay on his stomach. Knowing how much Jeremy loved him in this position, he got on his knees, tilting his ass in the air.
“Later. I want you inside me. Now.” Hopeful his forceful request would tip Jeremy over the edge, Blake spread his legs wide and wriggled again. As expected, Jeremy hummed his appreciation and smoothed his hands over Blake’s ass.
“Damn. You’re anxious. I love it.” The brush of Jeremy’s scruff on his thighs sent a wave of longing through him, and Blake urged him on.
“Anxious for you. Come on, do it.”
He could feel the vibration of Jeremy’s chuckle against his skin; then his breath caught in his throat as Jeremy spread him wide open and blew a stream of cool air down his crack before licking a wet path across his hole.
“Fuck, I could taste you all day. Sweet, like my favorite candy.” He sucked around the rim, electrifying the nerves around the edge. The hard thrust of Jeremy’s tongue in Blake’s hole sent a delicious thrill through him, and Blake moaned. Relentless, Jeremy smacked his ass, not too hard, and pushed his legs farther apart.
“Wider.”
Blake sighed at the soft licks alternating with the rough thrusts of Jeremy’s talented tongue, then yelped when Jeremy squeezed first one ass cheek, then the other. “As far apart as you can.”
Breathing heavily, Blake spread himself like a starfish and waited. The scratch of Jeremy’s rough jaw against his ass cheeks, coupled with the wetness of his tongue and the occasional stretching of his hole, had him writhing on the bed.
“Know what I love?” Jeremy’s words came out as a growl against his fevered skin. “I love knowing how quiet you are, that you spend all day sitting in this classy office, doing numbers with those stiff-ass corporate types.”
Blake froze, the pleasure leaching from his body, replaced with the cold, harsh reality that he’d been lying to this special man. The person he loved more than anything. He couldn’t speak, his throat too tight to let him form any words. All he could do was listen.
“All wrapped up tight in a suit and tie, going to meetings with presidents of corporations, yet the minute I touch you”—Jeremy trailed gentle fingers down his spine, and Blake shivered—“you’re ready to explode.” Blake heard the foil of the condom wrapper rip and the sound of Jeremy rolling it on. “I think about you during the day, hating how hard you work since it takes you away from me. From us and our time together. But I understand. I’m just glad you’re mine.” Jeremy kissed up the curve of his back. “Because you are, you know. You’re all mine. And I love when you become a part of me. When we’re close. Like this.”
As he spoke those incredibly intense words, Jeremy pushed the head of his cock inside him, but Blake barely registered the sting of entrance. Jeremy’s breath blew hot at his neck, and Blake sighed as Jeremy sucked at the tender skin, all the while moving tantalizingly slowly, pushing in deep, then pulling out, only to bury himself deep inside Blake again.
“I want to be yours, but you’re holding back from me. I feel it, but I don’t know why. We fit so well together, and I can’t stop thinking about you. Say you want me, need me, too.”
Tears of frustration blurred his vision, devastating Blake. “I do.” He gasped, willing himself to relax and accept Jeremy’s loving. “I do. I love you. More than anything.” But nothing helped as Jeremy continued to make love to a body that was bent on betraying him, and Blake wondered how much longer he’d be able to fool both himself and Jeremy.
Chapter Nineteen
Another early morningand once again, when he awoke, Blake’s cold, empty side of the bed greeted him.
“Dammit.”
Jeremy squinted at the clock and groaned when he saw it was only six a.m. Once again, Blake hadn’t woken him up to say good-bye. Jeremy swung his legs over the side of the bed, stood and stretched, then after peeing and brushing his teeth, went to the kitchen to make coffee. No note waited for him on the countertop. Blake had stopped leaving them for him, and their silly, sexy texts had dwindled down to nothing. Like their sex life. The last time they’d made love was almost two weeks earlier.
“This fucking sucks.” With no Blake to talk to over coffee, and even though it was way earlier than usual for him to get to the gym, Jeremy decided a good hard workout would clear his mind and give him a chance to let off some of the anxiety building inside him over Blake’s odd behavior. He threw on some sweats and headed out the door.
Despite Blake’s assurances that everything was fine between them, Jeremy knew better. What he didn’t know was how to break through this new, impenetrable wall Blake seemed to have set up between the two of them. He wasn’t fooled. The shift came about precisely at the time when Blake became busy for tax season. And now that he was chin-deep in his own plans for the juice-bar expansion, Jeremy couldn’t carve out a time to have the heart-to-heart he knew they needed to set things right.
The lights glowed inside Hard Core when he pulled into his parking space, yet Jeremy made no move to exit the car once he’d turned off the engine. He and Blake had both been running ragged these past few weeks, and he wanted to do something special for the two of them. A spa treatment was out of the question, since Blake was too busy to leave his office, but one of the regulars who trained with him was a masseur and did in-home massages. What better way to relieve stress than having a massage at the end of a stressful day?
“Perfect.” He wrote himself a note in his phone, and with that, Jeremy’s whole outlook changed. “I am a damn good boyfriend if I do say so myself.”
Smiling to himself, Jeremy unbuckled his seat belt and, coffee in hand, exited his car, anxious to get inside and to that promised workout. When he entered the gym, he greeted Benny, who sat alone at the desk.
The young man’s brows shot up in surprise. “Wow, you’re here early. Gino just texted me that he’s stopping to get us coffee.”
