“But what? What’s going on?” Blake’s weird mood freaked him out.
“Let’s sit.”
With his hand in Blake’s, Jeremy followed Blake to the sofa and sat next to him. He remembered their first date—when they came back to his apartment and made out like a couple of horny kids right where they sat now. While he didn’t understand at first, normally jumping right into physical relationships, Jeremy agreed, wanting to please Blake. Now he was glad they did.
“Can I ask you something?” Blake’s soft voice quivered, and Jeremy tensed, wondering why his heart pounded.
“You can ask me anything you want.”
“I know you’re going to say this is dumb. But”—Blake drew in a deep breath and exhaled—“why did you ask me out initially?”
Nonplussed, Jeremy gaped at Blake. “Huh? I don’t understand what you mean.”
“You’ve told me you don’t normally date corporate types. That you’ve always gone for athletic guys. Yet look at me.” Honesty shone from Blake’s big blue eyes. “I’m a plain, boring accountant. I don’t fit that mold. Not by a long shot. I’m not into parties, and I like movie nights at home instead of going out to the clubs.”
Upset Blake still suffered from low self-esteem, Jeremy sought answers. “Where’s this coming from after all these months? Have I said or done anything?” Shaken, Jeremy swallowed against the dryness in his throat. “Talk to me.”
“No, exactly the opposite. You’re amazing, and I love you.” As if he couldn’t bear to look at him, Blake stared at the floor. “I guess I’m wondering what I bring to the table.”
This wasn’t the time for jokes or for Jeremy to laugh Blake off with a kiss. Something had gotten under Blake’s skin, and while Jeremy might be a novice when it came to relationships, he’d listened to enough of Noah’s radio shows to have learned that nothing but honesty worked between lovers.
“It’s nothing I can put my finger on. I’ll admit when I saw you the first time in the snow you looked cute and all I wanted to do was jump your bones.”
A small smile broke out across Blake’s lips. “And all I could think was, ‘Oh my God. Who is this gorgeous hunk, and why is he talking to me?’” His smile dimmed. “Sometimes I still wonder.”
Chilled with dismay, Jeremy clenched his hands into fists. “Remember that first night when we came back here after dinner and I wanted to go straight to the bedroom?” The memory of their frantic kisses, bodies fused together—chest, hips, thighs—made him ache to touch Blake even though it wasn’t the right time.
“Uh, yeah.” Blake’s long fingers traced circles on his knee. “Saying no to you was the hardest thing I’d ever done.”
“But you were right. If we’d gone to bed together, it might not have made it as special as it is today. Look.” He ran a hand through his hair, hopeful he could express himself properly and not fuck it up. “Saying we have fun together and enjoy each other in bed sounds trite, because in the beginning the sex is always amazing. You’re so smart and buttoned up to everyone else yet have this sexy side only I get to see, and that’s hotter than hell.”
Blake stared at him like he didn’t believe what he said, so Jeremy pressed on. “It’s more than that. I love arguing with you about business and politics along with the TV remote and what toppings to get on our pizza. But you also make me want to think and hope and plan and…”
Embarrassed, he caught his bottom lip between his teeth and groaned. “Damn. I sound like a stupid Hallmark commercial. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re the one I want to be with because when we’re not together, something’s missing. It doesn’t feel right.”Shit.No wonder Noah was always wiped after his show. Two hours of this every week would kill him. “I could ask the same thing—why me?”
“Are you kidding? Look at yourself.”
Disappointment flared in his chest. For once, he wished someone wouldn’t talk about his looks. Cautiously, he felt Blake out. “Come on. You’re not that shallow.”
“No,” Blake said, reaching up to touch his face. “But men like you don’t notice men like me, so when you came on so strong, it was a turn-on, feeling how much you wanted me. Then I got to know you, and there’s so much more than I ever imagined.”
“Yeah?”
“You want me to spell it out, huh?”
“A guy likes to hear it sometimes.” Jeremy kissed the palm of Blake’s hand.
“When I say you’re perfect, I mean it. Not only in looks, but your heart, your mind. You’re a great brother…so caring and protective. You’re successful and smart and have everything going for you.” Blake shrugged, staring straight ahead, taking pains to not look Jeremy in the face. “I feel like I’m not good enough for you. And then the other night…”
A red flush crept over Blake’s cheeks, and he ducked his head. Jeremy hastened to reassure him. “It doesn’t matter. Happens to everyone.” By brushing it off, Jeremy hoped Blake would understand that sex wasn’t the most important part of their relationship.
“Yeah?” Blake’s eyes narrowed with skepticism. “I’ll bet not you.”
Did he lie and say it had, or remain truthful and work with Blake? “Uh, well, no, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand. And like I said, sex isn’t everything. Not gonna lie and say it isn’t important, but it’s not the only thing in a relationship.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“That’s a bunch of bullshit. What if I got sick or hurt and couldn’t? Would you walk away?”
