Exasperated, Rico turned his back on Gideon and braced his hands on the desk, but Gideon knew him too well and wouldn’t let him deflect. He came around the other side of the desk and stuck his face in Rico’s.
“It’s like that, huh?”
“What?” Rico bit out.
“You really like him.”
The surprise in Gideon’s voice reassured Rico that his friend wasn’t so sure and was fishing, so he might be able to emerge from this questioning unscathed.
“I mean, he’s a nice guy, yeah. What’s not to like?”
“You’re afraid, aren’t you?”
That got his attention, and he jerked his head up from his study of the desk to find Gideon staring at him with a mournful expression.
“What does that mean? I’m not afraid of him, or anything.” But even as he said it, his conscience pricked at him.Liar.
And from the skeptical expression in his blue eyes, it looked as though Gideon didn’t believe him either.
“Bullshit. I know how private you are. Damn it, didn’t I almost walk away from you when we first met ’cause you refused to tell me about your family?”
Everything Gideon said was the truth. But Rico couldn’t help it. Being the son of a politician and a Miami-Dade State Attorney held him to a higher standard than most. Being a gay man in a conservative family like his meant holding a piece of himself—the most important part of who he was—back from his father, the man he loved most of all. No one really knew him. He’d once broached his sexuality with his cousin and tried to tell him, hoping for an ally, but was rebuffed by his laughter and refusal to listen. That was when he decided to never bring it up again and keep his private life private, letting Gideon assume his family knew and didn’t approve. Sometimes Rico wondered if he even knew himself.
“I don’t mean to hurt you.”
Gideon’s face softened. “It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s you. How many years have we known each other now…nine, ten? I see you do it every time you meet a guy who might turn into something more than a random hookup. You back away and run like the devil is chasing you.”
The devil didn’t have to chase him; he lived inside Rico, condemning him to the life he’d led—achingly cold and lonely. Damn Gideon for being so perceptive. “I’m not running away. I don’t have the time. We’re busy now, and we have to concentrate on the store. My social life isn’t important.”
Shaking his head, Gideon walked away but paused in the doorway. “The people will get fed, Rico. There’s no need to starve your heart.” The door closed behind him with aclick.
The silence thickened, and Rico sat down behind the desk and banged at the keyboard to bring the screen up. The charts that only moments before had brought him joy meant nothing anymore. All he could see was the flash of hurt in Adam’s eyes when he’d shut him down and shown him the door, especially when he’d been about to haul him close and kiss him. The soft sounds of Adam moaning opened something dangerous inside Rico’s heart. It was why he ran that morning, instead of waiting until Adam woke up; if he hadn’t, Rico knew he wouldn’t have wanted to leave.
His usual bang-and-go in the clubs made for hurried encounters with his back pressed up against a bathroom door and strangers’ voices in the background. But sleeping with Adam was intimate…close. And scarily right.
Damn Gideon and his sixth sense.
Forcing himself to concentrate on the monthly inventory figures, Rico powered through the rest of the day with hardly a break. He barely noticed Sean entering to place a turkey sandwich on his desk. The few bites he took did little to lessen the emptiness inside him, and by seven o’clock, when everyone else had gone home, Rico’d had enough.
*
The apartment building’sbuzzer system meant Rico had to wait for someone to come out so he could catch the door before it closed. He wanted the element of surprise so that Adam didn’t have a chance to refuse him. Of course everything was predicated on whether Adam was home or not. And alone. All those possibilities tumbled around in his head in the elevator. When it opened on Adam’s floor, he had a momentary bit of panic. Why was he doing this? He’d been with plenty of guys he’d never seen again, and it didn’t matter. The walk down the hallway was different than the other evening when he and Adam had been so anxious to be together, they’d stopped numerous times to kiss and touch, teasing each other before going inside the apartment. Now he was alone and uncertain of Adam’s reception.
But Rico didn’t want to be a coward, and Adam wasn’t some trick in a bar he’d never see again. If nothing else, Rico owed him an apology. So hesitating only a second, he pushed the bell on Adam’s door. Footsteps sounded, and his heart rate sped up. He could hear Adam talking inside as he approached.
“Damn, you guys are fast. I just ordered—”
The door swung open, and Adam faced him. A bare-chested, boxer-clad Adam, who stopped speaking mid-sentence and gave him a hard stare.
“What’re you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you again.” He started to push the door shut, but Rico stuck his hand out to stop it from slamming in his face.
“Hold it. I came to talk to you, and afterward if you want to throw me out, you can.”
“Go ahead. I’m listening.” Adam folded his arms and glared at Rico.
“Can we take this inside? I don’t feel like everyone has to know my business.”
Without a word, Adam turned around and left Rico standing at the half-open door. He entered the apartment and followed Adam, who leaned against the counter that divided the small kitchen from the living room area.
