“Yeah?”
The man crushed his mouth over Adam’s, practically climbing him where he stood. Instinctively, Adam held him around the waist and he pressed even closer, giving Adam free rein of his lips and tongue, while his erect cock rubbed against Adam’s thigh. For a moment Adam gave in; he wanted to be wanted. He kissed the man back, feigning a spark he didn’t feel, desperately trying to feel something. Anything.
“Mmm.” The man sighed into his mouth. “I need some rescuing with your own personal equipment.”
Gazing down at the man, Adam wondered what was wrong, why he couldn’t muster up an ounce of desire. Because they were so close, the man was able to slide his hands down Adam’s thighs and brush against his crotch. Those full, pink lips pressed kisses up and down his neck, lightly sucking at his skin.
“Let’s go back to my place. I’ve always wanted to be fucked by a fireman.”
Adam should be hard. He should want to rip the guy’s clothes off and make him scream. He should want to feel that pretty pink mouth sucking his dick.
He should, but he didn’t. Instead, he recalled that first night with Rico when they were so anxious to touch each other, they almost ripped their clothes to shreds. The slide of Rico’s lips against his brought him to life. Now he felt dead inside.
“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling away from the man, who still clung to his arm. “I gotta go.”
“What?” The man whined in frustration. “Why?”
“Would you believe it’s not you, it’s me?”
The man’s gaze turned thoughtful. “Recent breakup?”
Startled, Adam gave a nervous laugh. “Uh, kind of.”
“Yeah, you have that look. Well, his loss, girlfriend. If you work through your headspace, come back and look for me.” He ran his fingers one last time over Adam’s bicep. “My offer still stands.”
Adam watched his cute butt wiggle away and realized he didn’t even know the man’s name. He finished his drink and paid the bartender, then left, walking into the sultry night. It was warm, and couples filled the streets, walking arm in arm, window-shopping, getting a coffee, or taking a leisurely stroll. The outdoor cafes were crowded; most restaurants were open to the air, revealing tables inside also filled with diners. The thought of sitting in a packed space, listening to people pretending to be who they weren’t, desperate for a connection, brought on a headache of epic proportions, so Adam bailed on taking the subway and instead hopped into a cab.
His apartment seemed no less dark and empty than when he left, and Adam kicked off his sneakers and lay down on his bed, staring at the wall. Wayne had left him in the worst way possible, tearing him to pieces for years, leaving him drifting and fearful of new beginnings. But the heart proved it had the miraculous ability to regenerate itself after devastating pain and loss, and once again Adam found himself on the wrong side of a love affair, but this time not through anyone else’s fault except his own. He’d get back to that happy place that had existed before he let himself believe he could fall in love. The evening might not have worked out as planned, but it taught him a lesson: while he healed himself, the world continued. It was up to him to take that first step.
Chapter Fifteen
“Go already.”
Rico pushed Gideon out of the office, but even that didn’t shut the man up.
“You’re sure you’re okay with running the store alone? I know it’s short notice, and I can totally tell Jonah that I need to stay home.”
“Don’t you trust me?” Rico glared at him. “You think I can’t handle it?”
Gideon stopped short. “Of course not. But—”
“But nothing. You told me a month ago about the conference. We’re all set. All we have this weekend is the fiftieth birthday party for Judy Miller from the synagogue. Go be with your fiancé at his conference, then have a little romantic getaway.”
Gideon took a few steps, then spun around and came back. “Can I ask you something?”
“Depends.” Rico folded his arms and leaned a hip against his desk. “If it’s about my love life, no.”
“I don’t ask questions about nothing. Since you stopped seeing Adam, you’ve been here every night until midnight. You don’t have a love life.”
Suddenly the game between the two of them wasn’t so fun. “What is it, Gideon?”
“It’s about Jonah.”
Curious now, Rico forgot his annoyance. “What about him? Everything’s cool with you two, right?”
“Yeah, of course. Only…” Gideon rubbed the back of his neck, a sure sign of his nervousness. “Jonah’s old boyfriend is there, in Boston. This guy Ben. He’s some rich lawyer now at one of those snotty firms.”
“So?”
