“One of the guys in the firehouse…he worked on the pile in 9/11. Up until a year ago he’s been good, everyone said. Not too many health problems.”
A painful twist knotted Rico’s stomach. He hadn’t lived in the city during the attacks but knew enough. The firefighters had given too many lives. And even now, so many years later, it hadn’t stopped.
“When I came to work here I’d heard all the stories, you know? One of my tactical trainers, he was there when it happened and got caught in the rubble. But Nick, my trainer, he’s okay. Rob’s not so lucky.” Adam’s hand shook so much, Rico took the mug from him and placed it on the table.
“No? What’s wrong?”
“He’s dying. Cancer. All because of what happened; the air he breathed while helping at the site is what’s killing him now. We all went to see him at the hospital last week, and he lay in the bed with all these machines and tubes breathing for him, but still, he smiled the whole time. It broke my fucking heart. And the horrible thing is he knows there’s not a goddamn thing he can do but wait for the end, and he’s got a wife and two kids. Fuck.” He punched the sofa cushion and put his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking.
Frozen for a moment, Rico didn’t know whether Adam would welcome his touch, but it killed him both to hear that story and see Adam in such pain.
“I’m sorry, man. You can let it out to me.”
Hugging Adam’s trembling body close, Rico remembered the stories and the pictures. He couldn’t imagine risking his life every day, not knowing when he left in the morning if he’d make it home that night. He had such respect for Adam and all the other men and women in the fire department.
“I feel like I’m the only one falling apart.” He raised his head and gazed into Rico’s face, his eyelashes dark and spiky, eyes shiny with tears. “The others have been around longer, and they’ve seen it before. I’ve known about the hazards from day one, but it never hit so close. Now, seeing Rob, all skin and bones…so pale…” He shuddered, and Rico tightened his arms, holding Adam closer, feeling inadequate.
“It’ll be okay. He has his family around him…”
What do you say to something like that? Rico sat and listened, hoping his presence would be enough for Adam.
“I’m scared. Rob’s the first guy I’ve ever met who I know is gonna die. I’m ashamed to say it when he’s being so damn brave…”
“It takes guts to admit you’re scared too.”
“I don’t know about that. But I spent the past week sitting in my apartment, wondering if I even belong in the department.”
Staring at him like he was crazy, Rico took Adam by the shoulder and shook him. “Don’t be crazy. You love it; you told me you have since you were a little kid. Cut yourself some slack.”
“Rob’s not getting any slack. He’s gonna die.”
“And you quitting isn’t going to change that.” Adam stared at him in surprise. “Yeah, that’s harsh, but it’s reality. You can help his memory by being the best damn fireman you can. Which I know is pretty damn awesome.”
Adam’s thin, half-hearted attempt at a smile was a pallid imitation of his normal one. “Yeah? How do you know?”
Seeing Adam so weary and frightened, his blue eyes expressionless instead of sparkling with humor or blazing with passion, hurt Rico’s heart. And while Rico hadn’t meant to get physical when he’d invited Adam to his apartment, he didn’t know any other way to make Adam feel better about himself.
“I’ve been inside you. I think that means I know a little bit about you.” Rico kissed the corner of Adam’s mouth, hearing the hitch in his breath. “I know how you feel and taste. What you sound like when I’m fucking you.”
Adam pulled off his jacket and tossed it to the floor. “I want that now. I need you. Right now.” He grabbed Rico close and began to kiss his neck, and all of Rico’s good intentions evaporated at his touch.
Chapter Six
For the pastweek, Adam had consciously avoided Rico. All too often he’d found himself about to text him late at night when he was on shift, only to delete what he’d written as too personal. Writing shit like “miss you” or “want to see you soon” would be a surefire way to send a skittish guy like Rico heading for the hills, so Adam withdrew rather than give in to what was happening inside his head.
He liked Rico, had been attracted to him from the first time he saw him at the scene of the fire at the synagogue. His dark intensity pierced right through Adam, and that, along with his quick to smile, even quicker to frown good looks, intrigued him to the point where he’d begun thinking about him way too much. Adam had no intention of falling in love.
But this past week had fucked with his head, bringing back all his insecurities about himself and his job, and before he knew it, Adam found himself back at the catering store, looking for Rico. That they’d ended up here, in Rico’s apartment, with Rico underneath him, hadn’t been part of his plan, but he fell into their kiss, and there wasn’t any other place he wanted to be.
Their lips slid and punished each other, tongues and teeth warred and clashed. This wasn’t a time for sweetness. Adam needed it hard and fast.
“You want to fuck me?” Adam dragged his shirt over his head and flung it aside. “Right here, come on.” He stood, and after kicking off his sneakers, wiggled out of his jeans and boxers.
“Yeah?” Rico’s brows shot up in surprise, but he followed suit until they were both naked, the sun beating warm on their skin through the open windows. Whoever happened to be looking out at them from across the street would be getting quite a show as Adam grabbed his own dick and pumped it hard. He didn’t give a shit. All he wanted was Rico’s mouth on him, making him feel alive.
“Yeah.” He caught his lower lip between his teeth and thrust into his fist. At the touch of Rico’s strong hand sliding up his thigh, Adam sighed with relief, but he had little time to breathe before Rico’s warm mouth took the place of his hand and sucked his cock deep. Adam widened his stance.
“Ahhh. God, that feels so good.”
