Twohourslater, Zach sat in the hotel’s steakhouse waiting for Sam Stein to arrive, nervous anticipation chewing away at his insides. Planning a hook-up in his mind was one thing. Executing it in person was something he didn’t think he’d ever consider. Zach stared unseeing at the flickering candle at the center of the table.
Being with someone like Sam Stein would be the first step in throwing off the invisibility cloak he normally wrapped around himself at these events. If he hadn’t swallowed his nerves and answered yes, he’d be sitting in his room right now, watching television, wishing he was back home and anonymous in front of his computer.
He’d been to enough conventions over the years to know the night games were always the more interesting of the activities than what took place during the day. Zach drummed his fingers on the tabletop, his heel tapping on the floor with pent-up stress. Maybe Sam wasn’t going to show up, and this would all be moot.
What if he couldn’t pull it off? Just because he’d watched Marcus for years didn’t make Zach comfortable with strangers. Marcus came out of the womb confident and able to charm with a smile.
“Hey, I’m really sorry I’m late.”
Zach froze and swallowed hard, his fingers curling into his sweaty palms.Breathe, relax, and think calm.
“Hi. You’re not. I’m always early. Bad habit.”
Sam slid into the chair across from him, his face creased in a smile. “I don’t think it’s bad. I think it shows you’re considerate. I always try and be on time, but sometimes outside forces intervene.” He accepted the menu from the waiter. “What are you drinking—still the vodka or do you want wine with dinner?”
“Wine would be nice.” Their eyes met over the flickering candle on the table, and Zach smiled.Oh, how easy it would be to fall for this man.But falling wasn’t part of his plan. One night only, maybe two, but that was it. Hot sex and then a good-bye. Something to prove to himself he could be attractive to another man. Whom he was proving it to, himself or Nathan, negating those last hurtful, hateful words that had never completely faded from his mind, Zach wasn’t sure.
“White or red do you think?”
Zach studied Sam’s face as he pondered the wine list; his brow furrowed, and he bit his full lower lip. “I’m planning on a nice big steak, what about you?”
“Huh?” Zach tore his mind away from what Sam’s mouth would taste like—rich and dark like a Cabernet or slightly sweet like a Riesling. He wondered if he’d get a chance to find out later. “Oh, yeah, steak, definitely.”
“Then we’ll go with the Cab.” Sam handed the leather-backed wine menu back to the waiter, and Zach furiously thought about what to say, figuring work might be a good subject to ease into. After all, they were at a computer convention, so obviously they had that in common.
“So—” Zach began.
“What—” said Sam at the same time.
They laughed a bit self-consciously, and Sam gestured to Zach. “Go ahead; you’re the star of the show here. I saw your name on the program for tomorrow night. You’re the presenter for the big award, right?”
From the time he was little, Zach had never known how to “sell” himself. He’d always had the inclination to stand on the sidelines and watch everyone else draw acclaim. Even when he’d made his big sale, the one that brought him all his wealth, he remained modest about it, refusing to fall into the lifestyle of easy drugs, casual sex, and instant gratification. He valued himself too much for that world, which prized nothing but fast money and fast living.
He shrugged. “Yeah, I developed a few apps, no big deal, but it’s nice to see the young guys, the up-and-coming people in the industry.”
At his words, Sam laughed out loud, his eyes dancing with humor. “Young guys. I love it. What are you, thirty?” He reached inside the basket the waiter had placed on the table with the water glasses, and pulled out two crusty breadsticks, taking one and offering the other to Zach.
“Almost,” Zach admitted, begrudgingly. He was younger by a few years than Marcus, but had been in the same grade with him at school, having skipped a few grades along the way. Julian was older than them both, having graduated FIT before going back to college to take business classes. None of them ever thought twice about their differences in age though; Julian and Marcus had bonded easily over their sexual escapades and seamlessly fit into the friendship between Zach and Marcus.
“Wow, you’re even younger than I thought,” said Sam, his smile fading and the light in his eyes dimming a bit. “I’m about forty. You’re probably used to being with guys your age or younger.”
Yeah, the master of experience over here. Sam should only know, almost all the action I had for the past year was through a computer screen.
Instead of answering, Zach chose to crunch on a breadstick, and watched the waiter approach with the wine and show the bottle to Sam.
Sam sloshed the wine around the glass and tasted it. He nodded his approval. “That’s good.”
The waiter filled both their glasses with the rich ruby liquid, took their orders for their steaks, and left.
Leaning close, Sam smiled; the candlelight hit his hazel eyes, bringing out the gold and green glints. “I always say it tastes good. What do I know?” He leaned back laughing and rubbed his chin. “As long as it doesn’t taste like vinegar I’m good, but I wonder if anyone ever sends back the wine when they do that.”
Lost for a moment in Sam’s smile, Zach wanted to skip the meal and head right upstairs. Jesus, he sounded like a slut; it wasn’t common for him to have such a physical reaction to a man. Over the past few years, as he retreated more into his computer work and app development, Zach retreated more into himself. He told people it was necessary, that he needed the alone time to perfect his work.
And because by nature he was the quiet one, the one who stood at the fringe—there but not there, present but never really accounted for—it was simple for Zach to play the charade without too many questions. His game wasn’t meant to be solved by anyone.
This weekend, he had a shot to be the man he wished he could be; the man he might have been before the self-doubt and humiliation Nathan inflicted on him had sunk its barbed-wire grip into him. He could do it at this conference with no ramifications, then withdraw back to the sanctuary of his computer screens and anonymous online presence, where there was no prejudgment, and nothing and no one could touch or hurt him.
“I’m pretty easy…when it comes to wine.” He held Sam’s gaze and smiled, although from the heat in his face Zach knew with a miserable, sinking feeling, he’d turned red. From childhood he’d blushed as easily as breathing.
