“I’m sorry.”
“Mom, don’t—”
She continued as if he didn’t speak at all. “I thought I was doing the right thing. I never expected to raise a child alone. And yet you were so smart and had Marcus as a friend, so I thought you were handling everything.”
“I did, I am. You know that now.”
“But at what price? You’re my son; you should be able to tell me anything. To be afraid to tell me you’re gay…you know I’ll love you no matter what. I can’t believe you didn’t trust me enough.”
Zach couldn’t let his mother blame herself for his mistakes.
“It had nothing to do with trust. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to burden you. And I know now that was wrong, so all I can do is say I trust you with my life. My mistakes were made out of love, not from a desire to hurt you. To shield you from more pain and confusion you might have felt at a time when you couldn’t handle any more.”
“You were the child and yet you tried to protect me.”
“I think we all make mistakes out of love, because we anticipate the negative. It’s fear of the unknown, which never makes for the wisest decisions.”
Before he could add to that thought, his mother surprised him.
“You’re right. We’re programmed to think the worst, instead of anticipating the best. It’s a trait that isn’t confined to children either. Adults are some of the worst offenders, myself included.”
Now that it was out in the open, he found the freedom intoxicating, yet he knew he needed to spell out boundaries that had never before been set.
“There are parts of my life I won’t be sharing with you, but,” he hastened to add, “it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, because I always will.” He reached up to brush away her tears. “My wanting to be with someone—with Sam—can’t and won’t change the fact that you’re my mother and I love you.”
“When did you get to be so smart?” She sniffed, letting go of his hand to wipe her streaming eyes with a tissue.
“I had a good teacher,” said Zach, smiling with relief. The day he’d always feared had come, and they’d all survived; the apocalypse had fizzled out. “She taught me about the heart’s infinite ability to love.”
They smiled into each other’s eyes, the only sound coming from the comforting tick of the clock on the counter. Then Sam’s hand touched his thigh, bringing with it a prickling awareness of his lover. “I hope you and Sam will be friends?”
Zach watched as Sam smiled at his mother across the table. “I know I’m looking forward to it.” The grin Zach loved, the one that lightened Sam’s face broke free, and Zach’s heart squeezed tight. “It’s been years since I had homemade chicken soup.”
An answering light dawned in his mother’s eyes. “Finally someone to cook for.” She smiled at them both. “It’ll be wonderful to see Zach happy. And if you’re the reason, then I know I’ll love you.”
No one had mentioned love, but neither he nor Sam was about to get into that conversation now. New beginnings and happiness were perfect.
Chapter Sixteen
Therewassomething exciting about walking home with a person you couldn’t wait to get into bed with, knowing you’d be ripping each other’s clothes off as soon as you got past the front door. Sam tightened his grip on Zach’s hand and increased his stride.
“I’m looking forward to getting back to my house. I can’t wait to get you into bed.”
Instead of the laughter he expected or even a kiss, Zach stiffened and stopped on the sidewalk, pulling away so they were standing face-to-face.
“Is this only about sex? I thought there was more to it.” With a frustrated push of his finger, Zach slid the glasses back up on his nose and scowled.
God, Sam could eat him up, he looked so pissed. Tonight Zach wouldn’t be frustrated or angry after they fucked. Sam would make sure he would be wearing nothing but a smile and those glasses. Nothing had ever gotten Sam so hard so fast as Zach’s big blue eyes behind those black frames, and the adorable, pissed-off expression on his face was icing on the cake.
And Sam loved cake with lots of icing.
“What’s wrong with sex? We have a great time in bed together.” Sam pointed down the block. “We’re almost at my house, come on.” There was no need to have this conversation on the street in public. He’d been horny all day. They could talk until morning about their feelings, but first he wanted to get laid. “And besides, I told you and your mother, in case you’ve forgotten, that we were dating. And dating implies sex.” He began to walk down the block.
Zach fell into step with him but continued to argue his point. “It may imply sex, which we can debate at another time because I’m not sure how much I believe that, but there are other more important things when one dates another person.”
“More important than sex?” Sam scratched his head. “What are you talking about?”
“Uhh.” Zach let out a frustrated growl. “I feel like I’m talking to Marcus. I don’t know anything about you, and you seem happy to keep it that way.”
