“I’m sick of talking about it, and I imagine you are as well, but I can’t seem to let it go.” He pushed his cap up on his head and stared up at the blue sky. “I thought I’d be a cop forever.” He closed his eyes, soaking in the sun’s blessed warmth.
“Twenty years is a long time, Sammy. And you were able to retire and get your pension.”
That was Henry—always one for looking at the bright side. And Sam guessed he was right. But Sam missed the daily routine; police work was an inherently social atmosphere. It had been the toughest decision he’d ever had to make, but his spectacular fuck-up weighed too heavily on his mind for him to continue his job.
The day he handed in his retirement papers and spoke to his borough commander, it became apparent to Sam there was little love lost between him and the force. Any attempt at sympathy and understanding rang hollow to Sam, and there was no attempt to persuade him to change his mind. The two had never gotten along, and Sam long suspected the man disliked having a gay cop, one who wasn’t content to hide in the closet, under his command.
And Sam didn’t blame any of his former buddies for their sidestepping, mumbled farewells and overall uncomfortable behavior around him. He deserved to be treated like the pariah he was. His stupid, asinine behavior had almost cost his partner his life. Everyone agreed it was for the best for him to leave. The tears he shed at night after he turned in his badge and gun were for him and him alone to taste.
“And,” Henry said, “I know your birthday is coming up, so Heather and I got you an early present.”
Sam opened his eyes to the sight of Henry’s grinning face. That mischievous smile heralded something devious, and Sam’s stomach clenched thinking it would most likely cause him severe embarrassment.
“What the hell did you do?”
“Heather thought you needed a change, so she got you a life coach. Someone who is going to work with you to unlock your chi and all your hidden anger.”
He did not fucking say what Sam thought he did. “You did what?” Sam kept his tone mild and quiet. Hell, he even smiled, while taking a swift assessment of the park, determining there were too many people around for him to commit murder and hide the body.
“You’ve been holed up all winter doing nothing but eating takeout and probably watching porn, and not even good porn—that I would watch with you—but your gay porn stuff.” Henry finished the rest of his water and chucked the empty in the recycle bin. “It’s time, man, for you to forget about that miserable fuck of an ex-boyfriend and move on.”
He wouldn’t have to kill Henry, just severely disable him. That would unlock his chi or whatever the hell Henry was talking about. Sam jumped up and pointed in Henry’s face. “I don’t watch porn, and I sure as hell don’t need you signing me up for a fucking life coach.” The last part of that sentence was yelled at the top of his lungs. At this point he didn’t give a shit who heard him. “Are you fucking crazy? What possessed you to do that?”
Henry remained unperturbed and glared right back at him. “Because you’re fucking wasting your life missing a man who never gave a shit about you, to be honest. And it pisses me off because I know you deserve better.”
Well, crap. What was he supposed to say to that? He rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn’t hit Henry when he did something out of the goodness of his heart. “Well, thanks,” he muttered. “But you shouldn’t have done it. Now you went and wasted your money because I’m not going to meet him.”
“Her.” Henry’s cheerful smile made Sam’s blood run cold. “Your coach is a woman. I figured you’d relate better to a woman than any straight guy. Except for me, of course.”
“Iamgoing to fucking kill you.”
“Now, now, Sammy, come on.” Henry nudged his leg. “It’s time to rejoin the land of the living. Why sit around moping when you could be out having fun? You should be going to clubs, partying and meeting people. Not sitting around watching old movies and eating day-old Chinese food.” Henry tossed the baseball up and down. “I know you think I’m only doing this because I’m married now and I’m not going to have time to spend with you, but Heather loves you, you know that.”
“She’s great. I still don’t know why she married you; I thought she was smarter than that.” He caught the ball Henry tossed at him. No matter how annoyed Sam was, he knew what was done was out of love and concern for him. Henry was his oldest friend, more like a brother. He was the one Sam came out to in sleep-away camp when they were fifteen and the one who stood by him when the debacle of his personal life exploded into his professional one. If it wasn’t for Henry, he wouldn’t even have a job, but thanks to his friend’s nagging, he’d gotten his Private Investigator license and now worked for Henry’s company whenever he was needed.
Ignoring him, Henry continued. “Heather said this woman will help you figure out what steps to take to make your life run smoother and not make the same mistakes all over again with your next relationship.”
“I’m not interested in another relationship. Everyone lies about something: their age, their job…something.”
He’d rather poke his eyes out than admit he sometimes still wondered what Andy was doing. The last Sam had heard, Andy had moved to Washington, D.C. Two years together weren’t easy to erase in five months, no matter how people tried to make him forget.
“Andy is gone,” said Henry bluntly. “He’s not coming back, and I guarantee he isn’t sitting around thinking about you. You need to get out and meet people, because no one is coming to find you. Maybe try online dating or join those singles lunches or club nights.”
Ouch. That hurt. But Henry had a point. Spring was a good time to start thinking of fresh starts and new beginnings. “Fine, but that doesn’t mean I have to be a loser and go to singles events. I’m doing fine on my own.”
Henry snorted. “Yeah, right. Number one, you don’t leave the house except for jobs I give you, or to play ball. Plus, the latest statistics say that one third of all marriages start from some kind of organized activity.”
“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re very boring, especially when you start quoting statistics?”
Henry stood up and grabbed his mitt. “Nope. Heather thinks I’m a hot geek. Now we have to find someone for your grumpy ass.”
“I’m not grumpy.” He huffed and fell into step next to Henry. “You’re annoying as shit.”
“Well, I have another proposition for you.”
“What the hell? Shouldn’t you be thinking about your wife and taking care of her needs instead of worrying about mine?”
A smile curved Henry’s lips. “Oh, no worries about that, she is taken care of just fine, thank you. I can give you the details if you’d like.”
