“Fuck the goddamn bet.” The angrier Marcus got, the more vicious his swearing became. “You meet a fucking guy for the first time in forever, and you share nothing about it; you even fucking lie to us. What kind of bullshit is that?”
“Why didn’t you say anything, Zach? You know we, or at least Nick and I, want you to meet someone. If Sam is that guy—”
“Will you both get off my back for once? This is the reason why. Because you don’t let up.” The spindle he’d wound all his grievances on had been kept so tightly wrapped all these years it allowed for no slack, but over the past few months it had begun to unravel, and tonight Zach’s normal, patient attitude unraveled along with it. “I’m not your project to take care of; my life isn’t a reality show you get to watch and vote on every week.” Years of holding back the anger had built up, and now the curtain had finally ripped, allowing his hurt and shame to pour through. “I don’t need your help, I never asked for it, and I want all of you to stay out of my life. What I do, I do for a reason, and I don’t owe either of you or anyone else an explanation. Understand?”
The room spun, and he felt sick to his stomach, yet freer than he had in years.
Marcus stared at him, mouth open, eyes wide with shock, but Julian sat back in his chair, a small smile teasing the corner of his lips. “How long have you been wanting to say that to us?”
Breathing hard, Zach flopped back in his chair. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Probably forever. I’m sorry—”
“Don’t apologize,” said Marcus. “Don’t ever apologize for how you feel, especially to us. It’s why we’ve been friends for so long. Right?”
And in all the years they had been friends, Zach couldn’t recall Marcus so heartfelt and serious. The thing he appreciated most about his friends was their honesty. Still, that tiny niggle of doubt regarding Nathan got buried back down deep. He didn’t trust himself to tell his story, and his dishonesty ate away at his heart.
“Yeah. So back off now, please, with this Sam thing, okay? It never meant anything, that’s why I didn’t tell either of you.”
Julian stood and stretched. “I’ll do what you asked, but you’re only fooling yourself. If you like the man, you certainly know how to find him. I have to get home; Nick isn’t feeling well, and I promised to bring him some chicken soup.”
“Shit, you really have turned into the Happy Homemaker, haven’t you?” Marcus stood and came out from around his desk. “Next thing you’ll be telling me is you’re gonna get married and have kids.”
For once, Julian didn’t smile or rise to the bait.
“One day, Marcus, I’d like to find out what happened to make you such a cynic about life. And,” Julian added, smiling again, “I’d like to see you fall in love. When that happens, I won’t say ‘I told you so,’ I’ll say, ‘Now you understand.’”
“Get out of here and go home to your boyfriend.” With an affectionate shove, Marcus pushed Julian toward the door. “Zach and I are gonna have some fun tonight. After all,” he grinned, and Zach knew he was in trouble, “if I’m not mistaken, he lost the bet and has to hang out here with me.”
The phone rang, and Marcus answered it as Zach said his good-byes to Julian. A glint fired Marcus’s eyes to dark violet when Zach faced him, after closing the door behind Julian.
“Ready to go out there and party?”
There was no forestalling Marcus once he was determined, and Zach had no strength left to fight. The good thing was Zach knew he’d only need to spend an hour or so at the club before Marcus would become distracted by a pretty face and forget about Zach, leaving him free to go home to his empty bed and thoughts of Sam. Lately, all he could do was think about the man and wonder what might have happened if he’d had the courage to stay.
From when he was a teenager, Zach hadn’t had much experience with sex beyond a few hesitant kisses or touches, and Nathan had been the first man he’d had sex with. Coldness swept over him. This was not the time or place to think about Nathan and their time together. That relationship had been toxic; pure poison. It had taken him too long to see how he’d been used and deserved better. He’d only had a few flings after that, but it wasn’t until Sam and their weekend together that he discovered the difference between having sex and making love.
Since that weekend, Zach had woken up every morning with an aching hard-on, thinking about the one night they’d spent together. He’d taken more showers and jerked off more in this past month than he had since first discovering gay porn on the internet as a teenager.
With Sam, there’d been no problem with his sex drive; even now, he wanted to be back in that hotel room wrapped in Sam’s strong arms. Zach still couldn’t understand why a man like Sam would want him; except for a healthy bank account, he had little to offer anyone, once they got to know him.
“Yeah, let’s get this over with.”
Marcus opened the door, the waves of pounding music flowing over them. “If you have that attitude, it will be a disaster.” He danced around Zach, swaying his hips. “Let the music move you and make you forget everything. Lose yourself in it. Drown in it.” Marcus continued to move, bumping his chest, rubbing up close while they made their way to the front of the club.
“Is that what you do? Use this to forget everything?”
Instead of answering, Marcus grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor where he proceeded to undulate and flex his hips in an almost obscene manner. His arms twined around Zach’s neck, and his lips brushed up against Zach’s ear.
“Don’t look now, but your guy is here, and from the way he’s staring at me, he’s one step away from coming on the dance floor and dragging you off like a Neanderthal.” Marcus danced away from Zach, who suddenly couldn’t move.
Blinking madly, his heartbeat racing faster than the beat of the music, Zach stared up at Marcus. “What?” He swallowed hard. “I couldn’t hear you.”
“Don’t lie. You’re all freaked out, like a deer caught in the headlights.”
Zach remained mute; there was no answering Marcus back. Most likely he was correct.
“Do you want him? Fucking admit it already, Zach. Say it for once.” Marcus’s harsh voice breathed hot in his ear.
“Yes,” Zach whispered back, desperate for the first time in his life with his own needs and desire. “I want him.”
