“You’re staying, right?”
Relief coursed through him, yet he kept his tone nonchalant, as if that alone would make what had occurred between them commonplace and rote. “Sure, if you want.”
Zach gave him an endearing, sleepy smile. “I want.” Those hypnotic blue eyes fluttered shut. “Let’s try and get some sleep.”
Ignoring the skip-beat of his heart, Sam stretched out beside Zach, listening to the even cadence of his breathing. He wondered what the hell had happened tonight; why he wanted to stay, to spend the night with a complete stranger when in the past he couldn’t wait to get dressed and hightail it away from the few men he’d slept with.
Unable to process all this deep thought after such heart-seizing sex, Sam turned on his side and fell asleep.
It took Sam a moment or two upon waking to recall his surroundings; it was disconcerting to wake up in an unfamiliar bed and recognize nothing. Not only was Sam not at home, he wasn’t even in his own hotel room. The solid warmth of a body pressed up behind him reminded him, and recollection of the prior evening flooded through him; his blood pooled in his groin.
“Good morning.”
He rolled over and faced Zach who, though sleep-disheveled, scruffy, and only half awake, was still the best thing Sam had woken up to in a long time. Maybe they had time for a quickie.
“Morning.”
Blinking, Zach rubbed his eyes and flopped back on the pillow. “I hate being up this early, but I have a breakfast meeting with the company giving the award tonight and panel discussions I have to attend all day.” He yawned and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t get a break until tonight after the awards dinner.”
Well, there went the idea of morning sex. But Sam understood. This was Zach’s way of brushing him off: a “thanks for last night and see ya around” but more subtle. What else did he expect from sex with a stranger? Sam took the hint and slid out of bed, in search of his clothes.
“Yeah, I have to get going too.”
Zach sat up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, a puzzled look on his face. “Oh. I was kind of hoping we could at least get room service together. Maybe make plans for getting together later tonight after all the ceremonies and nonsense are finished?”
Surprised, Sam stopped buttoning his shirt; Zach’s sweet, slightly anxious smile seemed to be in earnest. “Ahh, yeah, I’d love some coffee. And we can play the rest by ear, how’s that?”
Something dark flickered through Zach’s eyes; more likely it was a trick of the light streaming in off the ocean, now shimmering blue-gray in the early morning fog. If Zach was anything like Sam, he was feeling extremely awkward. Everything looks different in the light of early morning.
“Sure, play it by ear, see how the night goes.” He gave Sam a funny half smile and got out of bed. “I’ll call for room service, then shower, how’s that?”
“Sounds good.” Sam had no idea of the mechanics of the morning after. He followed Zach’s lead, as he was obviously more experienced in the ways of the world of casual sex. He’d hoped to get the chance to spend more time with Zach later on, but didn’t count on it, knowing how in demand and popular a guy like Zach must be, given his status as a presenter and app developer in his own right. Sam didn’t want to sound too needy or desperate.
Zach emerged from the bathroom freshly shaven, with his hair curling about his head in wet waves. He’d dressed casually and wore a pair of dark glasses that strangely fired Sam’s blood. Sam stared at him for a moment, wishing they could go another round in bed together, but he understood it was time for them to move on from the night.
Sam gathered his boxers and pants from where he’d flung them last night and went into the bathroom to take a piss and wash his face, wondering if Zach felt as uncomfortable as he did, waking up with a stranger. The sex had been amazing, but it did nothing to chase away the awkwardness of making small talk.
The coffee and croissants Zach had ordered were waiting when Sam reentered the room. The rich aroma of the fresh brew wafted toward him, teasing his brain, and he couldn’t wait for the first taste. He poured himself some from the thermal carafe and held it up to Zach, who was reading something on his tablet.
“Yeah, give me one second.” Zach finished typing and then sprang up from the bed to claim his cup. “Thanks.” He sipped the coffee, closed his eyes, and moaned. “Nothing like that first cup.”
Sam had to agree. He attempted a mask of indifference, where sleeping with a man meant nothing more than a sudden, hot rush of pleasure, a physical need for release, all the while hiding his enjoyment in being a couple again and waking up next to someone in the morning. Until now, he hadn’t realized how lonely he’d been since Andy had moved out. But, like his relationship with Andy, this right here with Zach wasn’t real either.
They made idle talk over their coffee, and Sam wondered if Zach normally went to conventions and picked up random men. He’d hate to think that, remembering how sweet Zach’s kisses tasted last night by the water.
“Uh, I hate to rush, but I have to prepare for my meetings today.” Zach’s apologetic smile didn’t make Sam feel any better about leaving.
“Sure,” he said, affecting a nonchalant tone. “I’ll catch you later, hopefully.” He bent and gave Zach’s cheek a perfunctory kiss, then drained his coffee and left.
It wasn’t until he returned to his room to change and shower that the inevitability of his solitude crept up on him. With a thump, Sam sat heavily on the bed and stared at the walls of his room. Last night, when they stood by the edge of the ocean and Zach spoke of his father, the vulnerability in his eyes had surprised Sam.
He needed to refocus and remember he wasn’t here to find a soul mate; that was crap dreamed up by Hollywood and the romance books his mother read when he was a child. All he had to do was find a way back to living his life and tone down his regrets. Try to find some normalcy out of the madness. Sometimes he thought it might be easier finding Narnia.
He took out his phone and called Henry.
“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”
“What?” Henry croaked. “It’s fucking seven thirty in the morning. What do you expect?” A huge yawning sound filled Sam’s ear. “Where did you go after the cocktail hour last night? I thought we would meet up.”
