Still, he reached out a hand and instinctively Tyler took it and tried to reassure him in a sleep-softened voice. “You’ll feel better about everything in the morning.”
After a few moments, Marcus heard Tyler’s easy breathing and knew he’d fallen asleep. He, on the other hand, stared at the ceiling, watching the shadows of the night creep along the walls until dawn.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
‡
“Will you atleast tell me what hospital your mother’s in? I’m not planning on checking up on you. It’s a normal question.”
Marcus sipped his coffee and quirked a brow at Tyler, who glared at him across the counter. He enjoyed riling Tyler up if for no reason than he looked hot when he got angry. His eyes sparked blue fire and his cheeks flushed, giving him that look like he’d been fucked well and good. Guess he hadn’t lost his shallowness completely.
“I’m not certain when I’m going, so there’s no point in telling you.” He finished his coffee, and Lillie came out of the bedroom with a sleepy smile.
“I’m thirsty.”
“Go brush your teeth first, and then Tyler will give you breakfast. What are you doing today?”
Preschool was on winter break, and they’d been splitting up babysitting duties. Today was Tyler’s day.
“Jacob and Rebecca’s babysitter was gonna take us to learn ice skating. Can I go? Please?”
Like he could refuse that face. No wonder advertisers put little kids in commercials. They could sell cow shit to a farmer.
Tyler had his head stuck in the cabinets, pulling out the pancake mix and the bag of chocolate chips. “Yes, honey. I spoke with Josh about it yesterday. I’m going to drop you off there after breakfast.” He waved the bag. “Now go brush, and we’ll make pancakes, and then you have to clean your room before you go anywhere.”
“It’s not dirty.”
Marcus choked on the remainder of his coffee. “Lillie-bug, you have every doll out on the floor. There’s no place to walk.”
Staring at him like he’d sprouted two heads, she spoke as if he was slow on the uptake. “Well, yeah. We were having a party.”
“Well, the party’s over, so they get put away, or you don’t go ice skating.” He placed his cup in the sink and gave Tyler a kiss. “I’ll speak to you later.” He bent to kiss a pouting Lillie. “Be good.”
He was out the door before Tyler could stop him. In his mind there was no need to make a big deal out of this visit. He’d stop by, make a few minutes of usual, awkward conversation, and then leave to spend much-needed time at the club. The elevator came, and he absently greeted the other people inside. Although he trusted Darius implicitly and the reports he received showed the nightly take as high as ever, the businessman in Marcus didn’t like other people running his brand. People expected to see Marcus Feldman when they went to Sparks.
He hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of the hospital, then settled in for the rush-hour traffic. If he was being honest with himself, not something he often was, he didn’t miss the long nights. What he did miss were the people and the friendship that could only come from working together every night.
Perhaps, he mused, a better compromise was to go into the club but not stay until closing. If he was at Sparks from ten to midnight or one a.m., he still had plenty of time at home with Ty and enough time at the club to make the rounds, check in with everyone, and keep his finger on the pulse of his business. Being in a relationship didn’t mean giving up everything he’d worked so hard to achieve, and he didn’t believe Ty would want him to give it all up either.
Satisfied that he’d solved one problem in his life this morning, Marcus stared out of the window as the cab turned onto the Brooklyn Bridge. The waters of the East River crested gray and choppy this morning; not many boats were out in the harbor, save for the Staten Island ferry in the far distance. When the weather got warmer they could take Lillie and Micah’s kids for a ride. Kids loved that stuff.
Alone with his thoughts for the first time since Tyler had been granted custody, Marcus experienced a prickle of fear. What the hell had he been thinking to help Tyler raise a child?
He’d started out simply wanting Tyler in his bed for the night. Nothing more than a physical itch. But like a chemical release in his bloodstream, the need for Tyler increased instead of waning; he was drawn to him, to his eyes and his heart. The need for Tyler became a necessity, a broken circle somehow reconnected, making him whole.
Tyler reminded Marcus that there was good within himself; and Marcus rediscovered the soft side he’d buried beneath the persona he’d perfected. Maybe Julian and Zach weren’t so wrong about having one person to love who loved you back.
But a child had never been part of the equation.
It was one thing to spend the day and sit around with them to watch them play. But the day-to-day stuff? He didn’t know shit about being a parent, and he certainly didn’t have role models in his own family to turn to. How could he take care of another human being and be responsible for their existence, when he’d done such a piss-poor job on himself? He scrubbed his face.
“I’m fucked.”
The cab bounced through the streets of Brooklyn, getting closer to the hospital, and Marcus’s nerves wound exponentially tighter. In his head he practiced the speech to his mother, wishing her well, hoping she’d get better soon; then, when a decent enough amount of time had passed, he’d get the hell out of there and head for Sparks. It was the beginning of the month, and the new uniforms had come in along with the monthly liquor shipment. Time to get back into the game.
The cab stopped in front of the mammoth hospital, and Marcus paid and scrambled out. He realized he didn’t even know what building she was in, and sighing with frustration, headed to the information booth.
The friendly woman behind the desk punched in a few numbers and with a surprised look said, “Um, she’s in the ICU. You said she’s your mother?”
