“I’m in a cab with Josh, going back to the apartment. Luckily he was with me when this all happened, or I might have gone insane, if I’m not already.”
He threw Josh a grateful glance, and Josh squeezed his shoulder. “We’ll work something out. Have faith.”
“I’ll see you soon, then. I’m sorry, Ty.”
He ended the call without answering Marcus back, afraid of what he might say.
*
“How fucking stupidcould you have been? I told you never to draw any attention to Lillie at school; we even had a conversation about it.”
Marcus had been waiting in the apartment when he and Josh arrived and opened the door, looking visibly upset. Marcus’s feelings weren’t Tyler’s main concern at the moment, and he lost no time ripping into him.
“You’ve ruined everything.”
Tyler stormed around the apartment, while Marcus sat with his head in his hands. Josh’s gaze ping-ponged between the two of them until he stood before Tyler.
“Enough.”
Tyler halted; he’d been close to cursing Marcus out and bolting.
“I understand you’re upset, Tyler, but flaying Marcus to pieces isn’t going to help the matter. You and he need to present a united front and do what’s best for Lillie.” Josh put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. “I’m going to go in the bedroom now and make some phone calls to people I know in the court system.” He shot Tyler a stern look, and he squirmed under that piercing gaze. “I expect this to be settled when I come out.”
Chastised, Tyler watched Josh retreat to the bedroom and close the door behind him.
“Ty, I know you think I was wrong and I’m sorry, but—”
“There is no but, Marcus. Not when it comes to Lillie. I can’t lose her. She’s all I have.” He braced his hands on the kitchen counter, bent at the waist. “If I lose her, I have nothing.” Unbearable pain sliced through him as if he’d been cut with a jagged-edged knife. How could he explain to her that she might be taken away? Worse, how could he forgive himself?
And suddenly Marcus was there, his arms around him, holding him close. The steady beat of his heart brought no comfort, though.
“That’s not true. You have me.” His warmth and strength soaked through Tyler and for a moment he relaxed, pretending everything was perfect and this would last forever. “And I’m sorry I screwed it up for you. I didn’t mean to do it.”
Tyler nodded against Marcus’s broad chest. He was so tired of being strong and holding everything together. All his life he’d had to be the strong one, pretending he could handle things on his own, when in reality he was flying by the seat of his pants. For once he wished he could give up his responsibilities and think of no one but himself. Foolish thought.
“This is my fight; I’ll understand if you find it too much. You never meant to be tied down; you’ve given us more than I ever thought possible.”
Marcus tightened his hold and buried his face in the crook of Tyler’s neck. Tyler shivered from the kisses trailing along his collarbone and sighed his pleasure. When did it happen? When did he fall in love? He thought he’d been so careful and strong to guard against it, yet here it came, creeping up on him like a thief in the night to steal his heart away.
And in choosing a man like Marcus who didn’t believe in relationships, commitment, or love, Tyler knew he was holding on only to let go.
Only a moment more, he promised himself, sinking further into Marcus’s embrace and inhaling his warm and spicy scent; then he’d back away.
He turned to face Marcus, noting the strain in his eyes and the tight, hard lines emanating from his lips.
“It was hard for me to learn to trust, and yet you made it so easy. And all I can say is that I’m sorry I drew you in where you never wanted to be.”
“So you think now you know what’s best for me, I gather?” Marcus quirked a dark brow but didn’t relinquish his hold, keeping Tyler within the circle of his arms.
“I know you’re not interested in permanence or anything that sounds like a relationship. You made no promises about a future. And at the time I was the same: keeping it light and fun, making sure it would be easy to walk away from.”
The violet of Marcus’s eyes darkened until they looked like merciless, glittering chips of onyx. “And that’s what you’re planning to do? Walk away from me?”
“I have to.” Tyler broke away from Marcus’s disconcerting nearness. How could he be expected to think with Marcus’s hands on him? Leaving him was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life, but Tyler was used to putting himself second.
“I’m thinking of you, don’t you see? The last thing you need is to be caught up in my drama. Lillie and I can be gone by tonight, and you can go back to Sparks and forget you met us.” Loneliness welled up inside him; he didn’t want to leave, but how could he stay? He fled to the living room and dropped onto the sofa.
Marcus remained standing by the kitchen, a dark statue carved from ice. “And is that what you want? For once in your life, Tyler, be totally selfish and think of yourself first. Stop overthinking it and tell me. What do you want to do?”
