When he returned to the living room he smelled fresh coffee.
“I already poured you a cup. Come sit and eat.”
Tyler scowled but sat down. Pride warred with shame; it was as if his greatest secret had been exposed, an ugly white underbelly he’d wanted never to see the light of day. Yes, he wanted Marcus, but he never intended for Marcus to know. It worried him that Marcus might press him now for sex in exchange for keeping his job, whenever he was capable of returning to work.
“Ty.” Marcus slanted a look at him through half-lidded eyes. “I’m not planning on jumping you, so chill the fuck out. You can choose to act all defensive and angry or decide it means nothing more than letting off steam, which I’m sure is what it was.”
Still careful of his healing ribs, Tyler braced himself to sit and accepted the plate from Marcus. He chewed and swallowed several bites before deciding to speak. It took him that long to figure out what to say.
“Yeah, it’s embarrassing. I didn’t want you to think—”
“Think what? That you want to fuck me? It’s no big deal. I’ll make you feel better—I’ve jerked off thinking of you too, so now I know you feel the same. It’s whether we choose to act on it that takes it to the next level.” Marcus wiped his hands on a napkin and tossed it on the table.
When put in such cold terms it sounded worse than it had in Tyler’s mind. But he knew Marcus well enough now to know he didn’t lie; and Tyler respected the truth and no bullshit attitude.
“I don’t want you to fire me if I won’t have sex with you.”
“That’s fucked up, and let me tell you why.” Marcus’s lips thinned to a pale, white line, and his eyes flashed. “From the first I’ve held back with you. I may have teased and even kissed you but never once did I cross the line, at least in my mind. I offered you and your niece a place to stay and recuperate because I felt responsible. Sure I want you; what man wouldn’t?” He crossed his arms and leaned back on the sofa. “I’m not going to force myself on you, or make it a condition of your employment. That’s disgusting and illegal last time I checked.”
Help from a virtual stranger didn’t sit right with Tyler. He believed all things came with an expectation of payback in some form or another. He set his plate down on the coffee table.
“You don’t understand. Every job I wanted to get in the theater came with a price tag attached. There was always a producer, a director, someone who wanted a blowjob or a quick fuck to get my foot in the door or to keep the job. I never wanted to play that game, so I got shut out.”
“That sucks, but it doesn’t mean it’s like that everywhere.”
“When people have used you your whole life, it’s hard to learn to trust who’s real.”
The anger on Marcus’s face melted away, replaced by a surprising expression of wistfulness. “You can choose to believe me or not, but I understand what you mean.”
Tyler sat impassive, wondering if he’d fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him because of his stupid pride.
“I’m sorry. I let my embarrassment get the better of me. I’ve never lived with another guy, so I’m not used to this.”
“I haven’t either, so we’ll learn together, all right?”
He already respected Marcus as a businessman; now he began to understand why the people closest to him liked him as a person.
“Yeah, sure we can.”
“So let me ask you something.” He grinned and handed Tyler his plate back. “Was I naked in your fantasy?”
“Asshole.” He threw a napkin at Marcus, for the first time thinking things might work out for him.
Chapter Thirteen
‡
Marcus balanced theempty pizza box in his hands, and Tyler had his hands full with dirty paper plates and napkins. It was Sunday night, and Lillie had designated it pizza night, so for the past three weeks since they’d moved in, they’d had pizza. They’d finished their slices, and she had decided that it was time for her dolls to eat pizza, so she was happily ensconced in her bedroom, playing house.
Marcus couldn’t believe he thought of his former spare room as a four-year-old’s bedroom now, but then again, so many things about his life had changed since Tyler and Lillie moved in that his head spun.
For the first time he had a male friend whom he wanted sexually but didn’t attempt to get into his bed. Partly it was because Tyler was still recuperating from his injuries, but Marcus knew the real reason.
Despite Tyler’s prickly attitude and pride and all his attempts to put a wall up between them, Marcus liked him and not as a piece of ass for the night. They were comfortable together in a way he’d never been with any man he’d been attracted to. He recalled something Julian said months ago, and its insightfulness chilled him.
“One day you’ll meet someone who’ll set your world spinning, and you won’t know how to stop it.”
At the time he thought it was bullshit and had told Juli exactly that, but now Marcus wasn’t so sure. The fact that he was sitting here in his apartment on a Sunday night with a child and a man who’d already made it clear to Marcus to keep his hands off, instead of at his club where every color, shape, and size of man would be his for the taking, was a sign he might have taken that first step off the precipice.
