The attendant placed his little container on the tray. “Enjoy, sir.”
He thanked her and reached in to take a handful of nuts but felt something cold and hard instead. He tipped the dish over, and a ring fell out.
Stunned, he looked over at Jordan, who smiled at him.
“Marry me, Lucas?”
JORDAN HAD SEEN people in shock before, but Lucas seemed paralyzed. Sudden doubt crawled through Jordan as he watched Lucas’s reaction. Had he made a mistake about Lucas’s feelings for him? They loved each other, didn’t they?
“Lucas, if you don’t say something soon, I may have to check your breath against a mirror to see if you’re still alive. Of course if you don’t want to marry me, I guess I can live with it. I thought—”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Thank God.He could breathe again. Happiness welled up inside him. “Can I take that as a yes?”
“Can’t you ever do what I ask?” Lucas sighed and took off his seat belt to face him. “Kiss me. Now. We’ll talk later.”
The lights had dimmed in the cabin as it was an overnight flight. Not that Jordan cared in the least. He would kiss Lucas in the middle of the day in Times Square if he decided. Jordan did what he wanted, where he wanted. The only thing that never changed is that he wanted to do it all with Lucas.
He took Lucas’s face between his hands and crushed their lips together. His mouth moved over Lucas’s, hot and hungry, while their tongues met and tangled. Jordan sank into the kiss, fervently hoping his touch and breath could speak what was in his heart.
When they finally broke apart, both were panting. Lucas had a dazed look in his eyes, his lips so ripe and swollen from Jordan’s kisses. It was an effort for Jordan not to grab him again. Jordan took a deep breath and closed his eyes in an effort to slow his racing heart.
“Jordan?” The quiet hesitancy in Lucas’s voice scared Jordan.
“Yes?”
“Are you sure? You really want to get married?”
Jordan had spent almost a year with Lucas, and he loved him now as much as when he first fell for the man. They worked hard but always made certain to carve out time where it was the two of them together. Neil had finally made good on his threat and retired to Florida with his wife, Marie, and he and Lucas were planning to fly down to visit them. He’d learned from past mistakes and spent more time at Drew’s clinic and had recently thought about teaching at one of the medical schools in the city. It didn’t matter any longer to him to be the best and the biggest. What mattered was his volunteer work at the community center and reading to the kids. Or taking long walks with Sasha through the city with Lucas, then coming home to make love. The crushing loneliness he’d suffered from after Keith’s death was a thing of the past, but he never forgot how insidious it was and how it had almost destroyed him. Jordan made sure to never keep secrets from Lucas, and Lucas had opened up to him about all the pain he’d had inside since childhood.
It hurt him, then, to think Lucas still had doubts.
“I love you. I want to be a family, have children, grow old with you. Does that sound like I don’t want to get married?” Jordan picked up Lucas’s hand and stroked it. “I want to be married to you. Only you.”
Lucas raised his free hand to Jordan’s face and brushed his knuckles along Jordan’s cheek. He then took the ring and handed it to Jordan and extended his finger.
Trembling a bit, Jordan slid it on Lucas’s finger and held his hand tight. He pushed the Call button for the flight attendant.
“May we each have another glass of champagne, please?” He squeezed Lucas’s hand. “We have a wedding to plan.”
~ * ~
Drew and Ash
One month later
Ash was in a piss-poor mood when he came home. He threw his briefcase on the chair and headed straight to the bar for an iced vodka. He hated spending Saturdays at the office, but he knew he wasn’t good company for his friends right now, so better to take his bad mood out on his files. Domino glared at him from the sofa, seemingly disappointed that Ash wasn’t Drew.
Ash glared right back at the cat. “I miss him more.”
He’d spent almost the entire past week either in court or working late at the office, anything rather than being home by himself. Esther had tried to persuade him to come by, but Ash made excuses about work. Drew had been gone at some damn conference, and Ash missed him horribly. Since they’d first been together, they’d never been separated for even a day. Ash checked his watch, noting that Drew’s plane should’ve landed by now and wondered why he hadn’t called.
For all the years before he’d met Drew, Ash had been alone without a second thought. He had work and countless men, and it had all been enough. Until Drew. Once he met Drew, it all changed; Ash shed his skin and became a new person. He assumed falling in love was what did it.
But with Drew gone this week, self-doubt had slammed back into Ash. The nights alone crawled in, bringing with it all his old insecurities about his worthiness to be loved by a man as good as Drew. Phone calls at night and raunchy sex over Skype didn’t cut it for Ash. Drew was his home, his center. He needed Drew’s touch and calming presence. Without Drew in his bed Ash was rudderless: unsure and alone. After so many years without love, he found it unbearable to breathe without Drew to lean on. Even an extra therapy session hadn’t helped.
Ash knew what people thought. They believed his dominance in the courtroom extended to every aspect of his life. He poured himself another drink and stared at the colorless liquid. What a joke that was, a facade. Only Drew knew the scared man Ash was, the man who needed to be held in the middle of the night, the man who couldn’t take a deep breath without Drew by his side. The iced vodka slid down Ash’s throat, but it did nothing for his loneliness.
