The night air was brisk, and the leaves still had a nice crunch as he walked home. The scent of fireplaces was redolent in the air. It was a beautiful autumn evening. Brandon enjoyed the brief walk to revive him from the overheated subway and supermarket. He passed by their neighbor’s house and admired the colorful collection of gourds on their front stoop, and thought about how in the spring, he’d love Tash to get flower boxes for the front of the carriage house.
Then he remembered he might not be here in the spring if he was in jail.
Shaking off the negative thoughts, he entered the house and greeted the two cats. “Hey, guys. Miss me?” They answered him with head butts and loud staccato noises, twining in between his legs. Brandon loved the cats; his mother hadn’t ever even let him feed the strays outside the house as she thought the cats brought the devil and forbade him to have anything to do with them. Tash was still shocked at how they’d taken to him.
He prepared the roast and put it in the oven and then boiled the potatoes, setting them aside to cool. The house was soon filled with the tantalizing aroma of roasting beef and garlic teasing the air. Brandon’s stomach growled, but he knew it would be almost two hours before the meat was done. He caramelized some onions to add to the mashed potatoes.
All this took about an hour. Surprised Tash wasn’t home yet, he checked his phone but saw no message. Brandon decided nothing sounded better than a hot shower, so he checked the roast and then went upstairs. The bed was still messed up from when he left Tash in it this morning, sleeping with a sweet smile on his face. As Brandon soaped and rinsed himself, he wondered, was Luke right? Did he jump into a relationship with Tash too fast? He stayed under the heated spray, the water hissing over him.
Dismissing any doubts hiding in the corners of his mind, Brandon knew Luke was wrong. Long ago when he’d thought about relationships, he’d never pictured hooking up with random guys to have sex. He knew it was silly and most likely an improbable thing, but all he’d ever wanted was a home. Someplace safe to live, with a man waiting who was as eager to see Brandon as Brandon was him. There was something about Tash, from the moment Brandon saw him, that exuded trust, peace, and love.
How could Brandon not have fallen for him? Tash’s gentleness and decency were the cornerstones of his personality. It’s what made him such a wonderful psychiatrist. Just looking at him, a person knew they could unburden themselves to him without being judged.
What lay underneath the man was for Brandon alone. Tash had proved to be an inventive, passionate lover, spurring Brandon to explore his untapped sexuality. His stomach clenched, remembering Tash’s tongue entering him, licking him, and driving him off the cliff to oblivion. Brandon wanted to do the same for Tash.
The water had cooled, and he turned it off and pulled a towel around him. He dried himself, his mood pensive as he slipped on a pair of Tash’s sweats and a long-sleeve tee. Brandon’s hoodie was still on the floor from the night before, and he slipped it on as the house was still a little chilly after his shower. The bed looked too inviting, and a wave of exhaustion rolled over him. He set the alarm for forty-five minutes and slid under the covers.
The loud beeping woke him from such a deep sleep he didn’t know where he was at first. He rolled over, and smelling Tash’s scent on the sheet, that cool rainwater smell he loved, Brandon smiled. A sound from downstairs caught his attention. Tash must’ve come home while he was napping. Slipping out of bed, Brandon decided to sneak up on his lover and surprise him with a kiss. Brandon crept noiselessly to the door and turned the doorknob so it made no sound. To his surprise, he heard two voices, a man’s and a woman’s.
Valerie must’ve stopped by. Maybe she’ll stay for dinner.
The socks on his feet not only kept them warm but silenced his footsteps as he headed to the top of the stairs. He was about to descend when he heard his name mentioned. He knew he shouldn’t listen, that it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help himself. From the start, Valerie had seemed suspicious of him, and it bothered Brandon. He wanted to be friends with her, like he wanted Tash and Luke to return to their easy friendship before Brandon had arrived.
So instead of doing the right thing, going downstairs and joining the conversation, against his better judgment he stayed at the top of the stairs and listened to her and Tash. He leaned forward to hear the two of them better.
“I see Brandon is very comfortable here.” Valerie sounded curious. “Is he living with you already?”
“No. But I gave him the key so he can come and go. Our schedules are so different—”
“You gave him a key, yet when I asked you for one, you said no? What happened to you?” Valerie’s incredulous voice rose in the air. “I’m your sister, yourfamily. He’s a stranger; someone you’ve barely known a month.”
Brandon felt sick to his stomach. He gripped the top step, his fingernails digging into the wood.
“Val, stop getting so upset.”
Tash’s soothing voice relaxed Brandon. He was confident Tash could calm Valerie down to listen to reason.
“How could I not be upset? Here you sat in virtual mourning for years after Danny died. All it took was a look from a hot young guy and suddenly everything’s better? You’ve never been reckless before. I don’t understand.”
“Why do you have to understand?” Tash’s exasperated voice pained Brandon. “It happened. I can’t explain it. From the first, there was something about Brandon I couldn’t resist. He was like an overwhelming force to me. I couldn’t stay away. I didn’t want to, and even now when I’m with him, it only gets better every time I see him.”
“It sounds like lust to me, not love.”
“You’re being ridiculous,” said Tash, annoyance creeping into his voice for the first time.
“I’m being ridiculous?” The disbelief in Valerie’s voice hung in the air. “You’re thirty-seven, and he’s twenty-five. From what Luke’s said, Brandon had a miserable childhood and has probably never even been with another man. What does he know about love, relationships, any of it? I’m afraid for you.”
“Afraid for me? Why?”
Brandon leaned forward to catch her words.
“I’m afraid he’s experimenting, trying to find his way, and who could blame him? I don’t doubt that he cares about you, sweetie; you’re a wonderful man. But he sees you as a father figure—someone to look up to for advice and comfort. And you, because you’ve been so hurt and lonely, mistook his attention and spun it into a love story. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
That’s not true.Brandon wanted to run down the stairs and confront Valerie, but hung back, holding his breath and waiting to hear what Tash would say.
“That’s not the way it is between us. We love each other.”
Brandon cheered inside.
