“Come lie down with me.” Tash patted the bed next to him. “Tell me how you feel.”
Brandon slid in next to him and lay on his back facing the ceiling. “It’s weird, you know? When I lived on the streets, and even in the shelter, I’d never imagine I’d ever be in this position.”
“What position is that?” Tash lay on his side, his chin propped in his hand. He reached over to push Brandon’s hair out of his face. He frowned at the sight of worry lines etching their way across Brandon’s normally smooth forehead, and traced them with a fingertip.
“Secure. Happy. And now that it’s all within reach, it’s like that dream where you’re running, and you go to grasp something, but it’s either right out of reach or it slips through your fingers.” Brandon caught Tash’s hand in his and laced their fingers together. “I found you only what seems like moments ago. I don’t want to lose what we have.” He lifted their joined hands to brush them against his lips. “And I’m not only talking about the sex, even though it’s amazing. I don’t want to run anymore. I want to stay and put down roots. I want that happily-ever-after life together, the sharing of our days when we get home from work, and having our families all together for the holidays.” He slanted a quick look up at Tash.
“What is it?” Tash could see there was something Brandon wasn’t saying. “You have to know I want that too.”
“I was thinking about how it would be to really be a family. Maybe someday have kids together.”
Stunned, Tash could only stare at Brandon as the clock on the fireplace mantel ticked busily away.
“I understand if you don’t. I’m not saying we need to decide right now—”
Tash covered Brandon’s mouth with his in a hungry, possessive kiss. The need to touch Brandon had never been so great. “No one’s ever loved me enough to want to stay and build a home with me, so I’ve never talked about it, but children?“ He kissed Brandon again. “It would be the dream I never thought I’d get to live. And you’d be an amazing father; I’ve never seen anyone so good with kids before. It must be because you’re so young.”
Brandon groaned. “Don’t start that again, please. I thought we were past all that.” His mouth set in a hard line. “Besides, at this point I have bigger things to think and worry about than our age difference.”
“I think you should tell everyone at tomorrow night’s dinner at Esther’s.” Tash pulled Brandon close to hold him. “Ash will be there, and Luke needs to know as well. Everyone will support you. You were young and abused and didn’t mean to do it.”
That look of trust reentered Brandon’s eyes. “I love you, Tash. Thank you for believing me.” He laid his head down on Tash’s shoulder. “Believing in us.”
Tash kissed his cheek. “I love you too. You made me believe in myself again, when I doubted everything, sometimes my own reason for living. You gave me back my life and made it so much richer than I ever thought possible.” Tash cupped Brandon’s face between his hands. “How could I not believe in you?”
Chapter Seventeen
Only a woman like Esther could bring them all together each week. The love and respect her family and extended family had for her was never more evident than at these family dinners. There was no doubt she loved doing them, evidenced by the care she took in preparing everyone’s favorite foods, whether it was the fried chicken cutlets Brandon learned were called schnitzel to the savory stuffed cabbage and delicious brisket.
Her face glowed, her inner joy apparent as she sat at the head of the large mahogany dining room table, flanked on either side by Drew and Rachel. Also present of course were Jordan, Luke, and Mike. Rounding out the lively group today was Tash’s sister, Valerie, Gage, and Louisa, who was busy scolding Ash for eating too many meat patties.
“Save some for the others. You have to share.” Her eyes twinkled.
“I’m not good at sharing what I love. Ask Drew.” He winked at Louisa, and she rolled her eyes.
“Oh my goodness, you are a bad one, aren’t you? How do you put up with him, Drew?”
“He has his good points, Louisa.” Drew leaned over and kissed Ash on the cheek. “Behave.”
“That’s like asking a dog not to wag its tail,” said Jordan drily.
The entire table broke out in laughter, and even Ash tipped his glass to Jordan. “Point to you, Jordan, but I won’t forget you compared me to a dog.”
Jordan raised a blond brow, his lips twitching to hold in a grin. “If the shoe fits…”
“You’re awfully quiet, Brandon.” Luke eyed his plate. “And you barely ate anything. What’s wrong?”
Tash squeezed his thigh in a gesture of comfort. Time to face the music. “I need to talk to all of you; to tell you…” He stopped, unsure what to say. Tell them what? That he was a murderer? All the eyes focused on him set his head spinning.
Tash cleared his throat. “Brandon wants to talk to you all about the events that led up to him leaving home when he did. But what we ask is that you let him speak and tell his story straight through. Afterward, you can ask him questions, but understand he may not have all the answers.”
Brandon threw Tash a grateful look. God, he loved Tash. It took such a weight off his chest to have someone so strong and steady in his corner. For the first time Brandon thought he might have a future free of fear.
He took a deep breath and began to speak. As he relayed the story he’d told to Tash last night, he kept a careful watch on the faces of the people who mattered the most to him in the world: Ash and Luke. Not surprisingly, their expression registered horror, fear, anguish, and love. Not once, though, did they gaze at him with accusation or anger.
“I didn’t know what to do after I left home. I couldn’t go back, so I took some money from him.” Here he stopped and swallowed, shuddering as he recalled touching the inanimate body of Munson to take some bills from his wallet. “I walked into the city to the bus stop and got on the first bus to Philadelphia. I was only seventeen, so the only jobs I could get with no questions asked were as a delivery boy or bagging groceries—whatever I could to get a few dollars.”
Those days seemed so hazy now, sitting in this comfortable room—warm, fed, and dressed in decent clothing. But that bilious taste of fear never dissipated. “It wasn’t enough to live on, though. I could barely eat and slept in parks or in disgusting hotels.” There were other more important things he needed to speak of. Things he hadn’t even told Tash yet. “I, um, I worked for someone who had me delivering packages, and I would get an envelope in exchange for delivering the package to the person. I didn’t know what was inside the packages, but of course I suspected drugs or guns. I only did it a few times, but it made me so nervous I tried to stop. They wouldn’t let me and said I had to keep doing what they wanted.”
