Brandon’s stomach growled as he thought of the pathetic peanut butter sandwich he’d eaten around eleven thirty this morning. “Damn, I can’t wait.”
“I sense you’re hungry.” A slow smile spread over Tash’s face. “Must be all that strenuous activity over the weekend. Maybe I need to feed you more.”
At his words, a memory of them naked together in Tash’s shower flooded through Brandon’s mind. He could almost feel the rush of hot water over his skin again, and the wet suction of Tash’s mouth on his cock.
“I think you took care of my needs.” They were at a red light at the moment, stuck behind a city bus. Brandon reached over and grabbed at the healthy bulge in Tash’s pants. “Remind me later to return the favor.” He gave Tash’s crotch a nice squeeze. “You deserve attention as well.”
Tash’s hands gripped the wheel until his knuckles whitened. There was no sound in the car but his heavy breathing as Brandon continued to massage him. He shifted in his seat, a pained look in his eyes as he bit his lip. “Brandon, stop. I can’t show up to the clinic like this.”
With a sigh of regret, Brandon gave one last squeeze and withdrew his hand. “Spoilsport. There’s so much traffic. I bet no one would even notice if I put my head down and sucked you off.”
Tash broke out in a fit of coughing. “Please,” he wheezed. “Please tell me you did not say you wanted to give me a blowjob in the car.”
Brandon waggled his eyebrows. “Next time I won’t say anything; I’ll do it, and you’ll have no recourse.”
Traffic began to move again. “You’re determined to be the death of me, aren’t you?” Tash’s pretense at anger failed when Brandon caught his eye and grinned. They were still laughing about it as he pulled into the parking lot at the clinic.
He loved seeing Tash laugh. His hazel eyes lit up behind his glasses, and all the tired lines of his face smoothed, rendering him younger and more at peace with himself. “I prefer to think of myself as a life-giving force.” Taking advantage of their solitude, knowing Tash might be somewhat uncomfortable displaying affection in front of the others, especially Brandon’s brothers, Brandon kissed him. It was a quiet kiss, one that spoke of trust and comfort, respect and friendship.
For Brandon, there were stronger emotions, ones that confused even him so he kept silent about them. Because Tash was so hyperaware of their age difference, Brandon held off on telling Tash how he felt, preferring to show the man in little ways to make him feel special.
Like yesterday morning, their first after spending the night together. Brandon had sneaked down to the kitchen and, with the two cats for company, made Tash breakfast in bed—scrambled eggs with maple turkey bacon and homemade cinnamon rolls. They fed each other bites of the food and then fed on each other’s bodies. They didn’t leave the bedroom until much later that afternoon.
After several minutes of increasingly heated kisses, Brandon broke away. Still caught up in the haze of pleasure, he barely heard Tash’s sigh. As he returned to earth and gathered his wits, he sensed something wrong and a quick glance at Tash’s sad face validated that feeling.
“Care to tell me what’s wrong?” Brandon zipped up his jacket.
“You don’t know? All weekend I’ve been deluding myself. We were caught up in this bubble we created, but now? Now that I have to come face-to-face with your brothers and Gage.” Tash shook his head. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
Heart beating madly, Brandon swallowed. “Can’t do what?”Don’t do this, please; don’t hide yourself away.
“Us. You, me. We’re at different places in our lives. You’re starting out, and with Ash and Luke, you have a whole new world open to you—places to explore and new people to meet.”
Tash unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door but didn’t get out. “I’m the opposite. I’m ready to settle down. I’m not interested in nightlife and the latest scene. I can’t and won’t ask you to give it all up.” Tash climbed out of the car and slammed the door.
The hell he says.If Tash thought he’d simply state his opinions like God and proclaim what Brandon should do with the rest of his life, he was in for a fight. He wrenched open the door. “I’m not giving anything up. I was never into that.” Brandon slammed the car door behind him with a vicious thump. “Who do you think you are? You say you don’t want to be with me, yet you then get the right to lay out my life in neat little puzzle pieces so it all comes perfectly together asyousee fit.”
Tash had stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn around. Hopeful that was a sign he was at least listening, Brandon continued.
“Sure we were in a bubble; it was wonderful this weekend, beautiful and amazing.” He advanced on Tash and stood before him. “Don’t think I don’t know, maybe better than anyone, how something so perfect and magical can be ripped away with no warning.” He put a hand on Tash’s shoulder, hoping Tash wouldn’t move away from him. “And now the hard stuff begins—reality and all the trouble that comes with it. But aren’t you willing to try? See where this journey takes us?”
“Brandon, you’re—”
“Don’t say it. I’ll tell you what I am. I’ve been homeless and hungry. I’ve lived on the streets with rats, not knowing where I would sleep at night. Do you think I’m looking for a man whose only interest is a twenty-dollar glass of wine and where the next party is?”
Tash said nothing, and Brandon had no more strength to argue. Besides, they were at the clinic to do a job. Last time he’d screwed up by running out, and he’d be damned if he’d do it again.
They entered the clinic in silence. Tash returned to the car to retrieve the food he’d forgotten in the backseat, then went directly to the rear of the clinic where Brandon presumed there was a kitchen. Three young people were working behind the front desk. Brandon smiled at them as they stared at him, friendly but curious.
“Hi. I’m Brandon.”
The reaction was almost comical, in the way their eyes widened and their mouths formed perfect Os.
Finally, a tall young man with finely etched features and light brown hair stepped forward. “Hi. I’m Steve. I can’t tell you how happy I am for you and Ash.” His voice dropped. “You’re so lucky to have him as a brother. If it wasn’t for him and Dr. Drew and the others, I don’t know where I’d be.”
Pride swelled in his chest at what his brothers had accomplished. Thank God they’d all come through their journeys to get to this point, stronger and able to help. “I’m glad he was able to help.”
“They’re all great; Dr. Drew didn’t know he was inheriting a whole group of kids when he started this place, but we’re like a family now.” The young woman with the name tagMarlyfinished filing her papers and walked over to join them. “Ash was always sad, even when he was trying to cheer me up. I know how hard he, Dr. Drew, and your other brother were trying to find you.”
