Jordan said nothing, merely held out his hand. They walked upstairs together, and the mood shifted from playful to something different. It was in the air, like a fine electric charge humming in the background. Every hair on Luke’s body stood on end, and his heart thumped madly. There must’ve been a strange expression on his face, because Jordan, his light eyes serious and his face soft with concern, touched his cheek with gentle fingers.
“Hey, we don’t have to do this. It’s not important to me who does what in bed.”
Luke leaned into Jordan’s touch. “I want you in me. It’s been years, and before—” He choked on the words but pushed them out, knowing he had to tell Jordan. It was time to strip himself bare to the bone and show all the ugliness and rot that lay within him. “Before when I did, it wasn’t for love or lust or even friendship. It was payment, a means to an end to escape. It meant nothing.”
He listened to the silence. Jordan stepped back but didn’t break contact, threading both his hands through Luke’s curls, forcing Luke to meet his gaze.
Luke didn’t want to see the pity, hear the sympathy in Jordan’s voice, but what he saw in that pale blue gaze of Jordan’s stole the breath right from his body.
There was no pity, only protectiveness. No sympathy, but rather anger. No disgust. Instead, Luke recognized love. Acceptance. And pain for him and what he’d experienced.
Jordan kissed him softly on the lips, then drew back. “Oh, babe, I’m not here to judge you. Who am I? I don’t know why you ran away, and I won’t ever push you to tell me. But only you have the right to control your body. When your choices are stolen from you, it’s up to you to decide the how and when to reclaim your life.”
Luke pulled Jordan flush up against him, needing the solid warmth of the man to center him and make it easier for him to speak. “My choice is you, and I choose now.” He rubbed small circles on Jordan’s back, still not believing he had the right to have this happiness and this man in his arms. “God, I want you so bad.”
“Then take off your clothes and get on the bed. I can’t wait to have you.” Jordan’s authoritative tone sent a shiver through Lucas. He wanted Jordan dominant, on top, thrusting inside of him. His body clenched tight.
Without a word Lucas stripped and lay on the bed.This is different. You love Jordan. But still he trembled. Though he fought to lie still, he knew someone as perceptive as Jordan would notice the subtle shaking in his arms and legs.
“Talk to me; tell me what’s going on in your mind right now.” Jordan didn’t lie on top of him but curved his pale, nude body into Luke’s. “Let me in.”
At least he didn’t have to meet Jordan’s eyes when he spoke of his humiliation. “When I made my way up north from Georgia, I didn’t have the resources to pay. I was young, alone, and so naive. I didn’t realize there were people who’d take advantage of me, sexually.”
He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. Jordan stroked his chest with his steady, warm hands. “Shh. Take your time. I’m here and promise I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t make promises you may not keep.”
Behind his back, Jordan stiffened, his hands ceasing their comforting touch. “Do you think I’d bail on you because of a mistake you made over ten years ago when you were nothing more than a child?”
Bile rose in Lucas’s throat, and he pulled away from Jordan to sit in the center of the bed. The trembling began again. “Jordan, I became nothing more than a whore.” Now that he’d said it, the words burst out like water from a dam, breaking free. “I slept with men and used my body to pay my way. I let them fuck me”—and here his voice dropped until it barely rose above a whisper—“I didn’t want to, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You did what you needed to do to survive, all alone and hopeless.” Jordan slid his arms around Luke and hugged him tight, nestling himself against Luke’s back. “What you’ve told me only makes me love you more for the strength and perseverance you showed. I’m in awe of what you’ve made out of your life.” The softness of Jordan’s lips pressed against his neck.
Maybe it had all been worth it. To have suffered as he did, only to claw his way up and out of that blackness, proved there were sometimes happy endings, especially if a man such as Jordan was there to accept and love him. “Since then, I’ve never let a man inside me, but now, I can’t stop thinking of having you. Feeling you inside me.”
“Let me in then.” Jordan gently pushed him down on the bed, facedown. “Close your eyes while I taste every inch of you.”
Luke complied and stretched out, arms relaxed at his side. He sensed Jordan’s body hovering over him. Heated, wet kisses started at the base of his neck. Only Jordan’s lips touched Luke’s skin, his mouth traveling down Luke’s spine, slow and deliberate. Jordan’s tongue traced each vertebra as he worked his way down Luke’s back, licking, kissing, caressing him with such tenderness Luke vibrated from the sensations erupting throughout his body.
Never in his life had Luke felt so wanted. Desire, hot and thick, coursed through him, and he moaned, the sound echoing off the bedroom walls.
“You like that.”
Luke smiled at the self-satisfied tone of Jordan’s voice. “You know I do.” His voice caught in his throat as Jordan trailed his fingers up the crease of his ass. Nervous, Luke shifted, not willing to give in to the buzz of excitement that shocked him with its intensity.
Jordan knew him so well, it seemed, as he whispered, “Turn over.”
When Luke faced Jordan, the love and tenderness in the man’s eyes was almost too much to handle. Not since Wanda had stepped in, assigning herself the role of his surrogate mother, had Luke felt as cared for, as protected.
As loved.
Jordan cupped his cheek. “If you don’t want to go through with it, I understand.”
The only appropriate way for Luke to respond was to pull Jordan in for a kiss. “I want you more than ever.”
After that, Jordan took control. Luke had never seen him so strong and sure of himself. This was the man Jordan must have always been, before death and sadness overtook him. His mouth was everywhere on Luke’s body—kissing his neck, sucking at his nipples and finally, mercifully, enveloping his erection. Warmth and wetness slid over Luke’s hardness as Jordan’s tongue first sucked and teased the sensitive head of his cock, then glided down his shaft, encompassing him entirely. As Jordan’s mouth worked on Luke’s cock, his strong hands caressed Luke’s abdomen, then trailed down to the juncture of his legs, cupping his balls and teasing the crease of his ass.
It had been so long, and he wanted Jordan so badly, he was unprepared for the ferocity of his body’s need to come. “Oh God.” Luke couldn’t help but cry out as the hard pulls of Jordan’s hot mouth, coupled with the light touch of Jordan’s fingers, sent him spiraling toward that bright white light where love and passion waited. His body clenched hard, then splintered, racked with powerful shudders. Luke’s cock shot out ribbons of creamy white, which Jordan accepted, swallowing down every drop. After giving Luke’s cock a final lick and a lingering kiss, Jordan sat back on his haunches, looking down at Luke’s worn-out body. A smug smile teased his lips.
