“It was rough for us to stay.”
He ceased petting the dog, who wandered up the stairs. Jordan’s warm, dry palm slid over the top of his hand, entwining their fingers together. A frantic pounding began in his heart, resonating in his head and chest. It took a supreme strength of will to draw a breath deep enough to reach his lungs. Their linked hands rested between them on the steps.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Jordan.
“I might, yes. Not here, though.” A squeeze from Jordan’s hand startled him. To think he might have an ally, or someone he could confide in, after all the isolated years, overwhelmed him. “I can’t talk to him now. I won’t. He left me to live with a monster. It’s been fifteen years since I’ve seen or heard from him. He can’t expect me to—”
“Hey, hey, relax.” The grip on his hand tightened. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want. If you want to go, I think everyone would understand.” Jordan’s soothing voice flowed over him like warm syrup, his thumb circling over the top of Luke’s hand. “I’ll make our excuses, and we can go.”
Shocked, Luke swiveled around on the steps, drawing closer to Jordan, their knees touching. “I can’t let you do that. It isn’t fair to Esther. She told me how much she looked forward to you coming today.” He leaned closer to Jordan, who never took his steady gaze off him. “She told me all about you. How you always stood up for your friends and tried to protect them, even when you were boys.”
“Nice try, but this isn’t about me, for once. It’s about you and your pain.” Jordan’s leg slid closer, hard and warm against his thigh. Luke froze.
Their mouths were mere inches apart, lips poised to touch. He heard nothing save for their mutual breaths and the rush of blood through his veins. Something dark and deep unfolded within him, exposing his heart. And for the first time, Luke needed someone, wanted someone to hold on to. Loneliness had been his companion for so long he’d never imagined there could be anyone else to share himself with.
Gone was the arrogant demeanor Jordan carried around with him. In its stead was a man whose blue eyes gazed on him with a tenderness he’d never seen.
“Let me help you, Lucas.”
An unknown emotion coiled in the pit of Luke’s stomach as Jordan reached up to brush aside the curls that always fell over his brow. Not content, however, to stop with that brief touch, Jordan’s hand trailed down his face, coming to rest against his cheek. “Lucas,” Jordan whispered. “Please.”
In Jordan’s eyes, Luke viewed a yearning, a hunger so fierce and bold it robbed him of all capacity to speak. Desire, hot and thick, flooded through him, and no longer willing to remain passive, he brushed his lips against Jordan’s. The immediate groan of satisfaction played like music to his ears. Their kisses remained sweet and light, but the promise of more was there. Luke could sense it in the ripples that raced under the fine skin of Jordan’s neck and the trembling hand that remained on his face.
And he wanted more, God help him.
Luke slid his tongue against the seam of Jordan’s lips and was granted entrance into the heated wetness of Jordan’s mouth. Their lips slanted together, and his breath grew short. Jordan’s mouth fit over his, locking into place like the last missing piece of a puzzle Luke had been searching for his whole life.
Like he’d never been kissed before.
Luke was like a virginal schoolboy in uncharted territory. Except there was no fumbling or missteps, no embarrassment or rushing. Kissing Jordan was like getting swept up in wave after wave of sensation, every nerve ending awakening for the first time, fresh and new.
He drew back, reluctant to take his lips from Jordan’s but fearful of exposure should someone come outside. Jordan’s eyes remained closed for a moment; he opened them and gave a tentative smile.
“I’m not going to apologize or tell you I’m sorry this time.” Jordan raked his hands through his hair, to smooth it back off his face. “It felt good to offer you comfort, for once.”
The smile froze on Luke’s face. He made sure to speak very carefully so as not to break down and lose control. “So that’s all it was—a pity kiss?”
“Are you serious?” Jordan’s horrified expression mollified Luke somewhat. “Why would I pity you? Aside from knowing Ash, that is.”
That set Luke to thinking. “Why do you hate him so much?”
Jordan leaned back, bracing his hands on the steps and stretching his legs out in front of him. “Hate is a rather strong word.” Even though his voice remained calm, Luke could see pain in those troubled eyes. “I don’t trust him, no matter that he and Drew have been together all these months. Before he met Drew, even when he first met him, Ash was a player. He’d screw anything on two legs. He made a pass at me, years ago.”
Whoa, not what he’d expected to hear. “Um, so did you ever get together?” For the life of him, he didn’t want to know, yet he had to find out the answer all the same. His stomach soured at the thought of Ash’s hands on Jordan’s body.
The look of distaste on Jordan’s face sent all of Luke’s misgivings out the proverbial window. “Christ, no. I would never be interested, and I told him so. He didn’t want to believe me and wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to threaten him with a restraining order.” Jordan broke out in a huge grin. “Took the wind right out of his sails.”
“Yet your friend had no problem with his past?” Of course he was interested in Ash’s life. Now that he’d been face-to-face with him, sooner or later he knew he’d end up speaking to him. Better to find out his whole story ahead of time. “I’m surprised at the two of them. Drew looks pretty nonthreatening. Not the tough, strong personality I’d always figured Ash would go for.”
Sasha had come outside through the half-opened front door and down the steps, looking for some attention. Jordan let her lick his hand before continuing. “Don’t let his size fool you. Drew may not be big and overpowering, but he is one of the strongest people I know. He had to be after his parents were killed. But he’s also the nicest person you’ll ever meet and sees the good in everyone. In many ways, he’s like Esther. I think that’s what drew Ash to him.”
That made sense. Ash would want to surround himself with people who made him feel good since he was such a miserable son of a bitch.
“To be fair to Ash,” Jordan continued, “he’s never given me one reason to doubt his feelings for Drew. He’s been nothing but faithful to him from the time they met. I know he loves Drew.”
“Yet there’s something else, isn’t there?” Luke hugged his knees to his chest and clasped his arms around his legs. “Something about their relationship that goes beyond the way you feel about Ash?” Jordan’s face tightened and turned away, and Luke knew he’d hit a nerve. When it became apparent Jordan didn’t plan on answering him, Luke left his side and returned to the porch. “I think we should go back inside. I feel bad Esther’s party had to be interrupted because of me. You were right. She’s a special lady and doesn’t deserve this.”
Jordan stood up, Sasha at his heels. Luke looked down at them and wondered how this man had become so important to him. Nothing and no one had ever managed to insinuate themselves into his life and his mind before, yet here he was, breaking all the rules he’d set in place for himself. And there wasn’t anything he could do about it, he admitted, watching Jordan and Sasha walk up the steps to meet him. He was on a roller coaster, and this moment was one of those death-defying dips and dives where your breath catches in your throat and you feel as if your heart is exploding out of your body.
